Not In My Nature
Being the risk-taker that I am, waiting was not something that came natural to me. Impatience was my tonic. It fueled me into action. Decisive is another word that comes to mind when considering my personality traits.
Patience they say is a virtue and as shared here before, it is not one that came natural to me. Once an idea popped into my head, especially after there is no room left for worrying, off I went. Waiting was never much of an option. Call it my impervious youthful years – if being in one’s 40’s could still be considered youth – but I had no time for waiting.
Waiting and its companion patience, felt like laziness, the inability to decide and a lack of courage to take a chance. None of those characteristics described me.
Waiting Was Not My Style
If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.” Paulo Coelho
Coelho’s words perfectly expresses my feelings about getting on with stuff – whatever it was. Money was never and still is not a motivating factor for me. So my impatience was not connected with getting rich quick. On at least two occasions, I had the experience of being cajoled into signing up with schemes, some call them pyramid schemes but others prefer multi-level marketing ventures. They were both epic failures as my distaste for having to go out and convince others of the benefits of this or that product soon took over.
Somewhere deep in me there was and still is a feeling that “I have a life to live and I need to live it in the best way possible.”
Over the years – “the best way” seemed to somehow be connected with the how of ‘waiting’. Through trials and errors, many of them, what became clear to me was that being patient is indeed a virtue but learning the true art of waiting was a greater lesson.
Waiting For Our Big Moment
How many times have you heard some celebrity, motivational speaker, preacher or even politician glorify their struggles with the words, ‘and then my big moment came’?
Many of us were taught that if we patiently waited, if you are long-suffering enough your moment of glory will come. “Patience is a virtue,” was on loop in your ear.
Sadly, too many spend their entire life simply waiting to:
- get rich
- meet their one true love
Way too many are waiting to be happy. That must be the worse kind of ‘wait’ of them all!
Here is what came home to me at the end of my pursuit of my moment – there is no moment. Every day is the day that you have waited for. That is the secret and the mystery.
This Is IT!
In her book,
But this is what I’m finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I’m waiting for, that adventure, that move-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets – this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of use will ever experience.”
In experiencing every moment of our “pedestrian life” is the mastery of waiting.
The Big Moment of your (and my) life is seeing every moment as it. Living every single moment as if it is the greatest ever because it is. The mastery of waiting is to stop waiting and living. This is contrary to impatience. Another of my favourite writers puts it well, if not a little crudely perhaps for some of you. It is with her words that I close and invite you to subscribe to receive my weekly updates – stop waiting – as well as connect with me through Facebook. If you have any questions or would like me walk with you as you learn the art of waiting, check out my services here.
You Are Not Cinderella
I could go on and on about all the ways I have limited myself, my whole life, by “waiting” for people. And the only thing that I’ve ever received in return is people thinking that they are faster than me, people thinking that they can make me feel bad about myself just because I let them and people thinking that I have to do whatever they say I should do. My mother used to teach me “Cinderella is a perfect example to be” but I have learned that Cinderella can go fuck herself, I’m not waiting for anybody, anymore! I’m going to run as fast as I can, fly as high as I can, I am going to soar and if you want you can come with me! But I’m not waiting for you anymore.” ― C. JoyBell C.
Until next week, Namaste