How To Master The Art of Waiting – Because It Is One

Not In My Nature

Claudette P EsterineBeing the risk-taker that I am, waiting was not something that came natural to me. Impatience was my tonic. It fueled me into action. Decisive is another word that comes to mind when considering my personality traits.

Patience they say is a virtue and as shared here before, it is not one that came natural to me. Once an idea popped into my head, especially after there is no room left for worrying, off I went. Waiting was never much of an option. Call it my impervious youthful years – if being in one’s 40’s could still be considered youth – but I had no time for waiting.

Waiting and its companion patience, felt like laziness, the inability to decide and a lack of courage to take a chance. None of those characteristics described me.

Waiting Was Not My Style

If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.”  Paulo Coelho

Coelho’s words perfectly expresses my feelings about getting on with stuff – whatever it was. Money was never and still is not a motivating factor for me. So my impatience was not connected with getting rich quick. On at least two occasions, I had the experience of being cajoled into signing up with schemes, some call them pyramid schemes but others prefer multi-level marketing ventures. They were both epic failures as my distaste for having to go out and convince others of the benefits of this or that product soon took over.

Somewhere deep in me there was and still is a feeling that “I have a life to live and I need to live it in the best way possible.” 

Over the years – “the best way” seemed to somehow be connected with  the how of ‘waiting’. Through trials and errors, many of them, what became clear to me was that being patient is indeed a virtue but learning the true art of waiting was a greater lesson.

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Waiting For Our Big Moment

How many times have you heard some celebrity, motivational speaker, preacher or even politician glorify their struggles with the words, ‘and then my big moment came’?

Many of us were taught that if we patiently waited, if you are long-suffering enough your moment of glory will come. “Patience is a virtue,” was on loop in your ear.

Sadly, too many spend their entire life simply waiting to:

  • get rich
  • retire
  • meet their one true love

Way too many are waiting to be happy. That must be the worse kind of ‘wait’ of them all!

Here is what came home to me at the end of my pursuit of my moment – there is no moment. Every day is the day that you have waited for. That is the secret and the mystery.

This Is IT!

In her book, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life, Shauna Niequist sums it up pretty well. So instead of trying to reinvent the wheel – and you know that is not my style – let me quote her:

But this is what I’m finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I’m waiting for, that adventure, that move-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets – this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of use will ever experience.”

In experiencing every moment of our “pedestrian life” is the mastery of waiting. 

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waitingThe Big Moment of your (and my) life is seeing every moment as it. Living every single moment as if it is the greatest ever because it is. The mastery of waiting is to stop waiting and living. This is contrary to impatience. Another of my favourite writers puts it well, if not a little crudely perhaps for some of you. It is with her words that I close and invite you to subscribe to receive my weekly updates – stop waiting – as well as connect with me through Facebook. If you have any questions or would like me walk with you as you learn the art of waiting, check out my services here.

You Are Not Cinderella

I could go on and on about all the ways I have limited myself, my whole life, by “waiting” for people. And the only thing that I’ve ever received in return is people thinking that they are faster than me, people thinking that they can make me feel bad about myself just because I let them and people thinking that I have to do whatever they say I should do. My mother used to teach me “Cinderella is a perfect example to be” but I have learned that Cinderella can go fuck herself, I’m not waiting for anybody, anymore! I’m going to run as fast as I can, fly as high as I can, I am going to soar and if you want you can come with me! But I’m not waiting for you anymore.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Until next week, Namaste

Claudette P. Esterine

 

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34 thoughts on “How To Master The Art of Waiting – Because It Is One

  1. It’s funny, because being the mom of a child who has Autism and ADHD and being married to my love who happens to have disabilities of his own, many have told me that I seem to have so much patience! I laugh, because to me it’s like all my patience goes towards raising our son and dealing with my husband’s disabilities. There’s not much left for me. =)

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, I can see where people would think that you are all patience – and I can also see where you sometimes might feel as if you are at risk of running low or out. However, there is always a way to replenish. I am sure you have learned that over the years. If not, it would serve you well to find what works best for you because as you know, you cannot give what you do not have. Thanks for sharing this Alisha! 🙂

  2. Patience, HA! I do not have a patient bone in my body! LOL!

  3. Well guess what Claudette, I too am not one for waiting and patience is something I have learnt to i still in myself. Coz like you I felt it was an excuse to procrastinate …Lol how time teaches us . enjoyed the post and love your selfie 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      We are too much alike Julie! 🙂

  4. CourtneyLynne

    Ahhhh waiting is something I’m not that great at too. I have always been such a go getter. Set my eye on something and accomplish it type of person that when I do have to wait for something it’s like torture lol

  5. I wish I was more patient… But I believe some things need patience in life. It’s really cool to have a post that talks about this. Great post, to be honest. xoxo

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thanks Adriana! Most certainly patience has its place but it is not meant to immobilize us. Much love and blessings! 🙂

  6. With certain things I have no patience at all. Nails, hair which most people enjoy I cant stand it. Other situations like waiting in line I have great patience.

  7. Jazz

    Thank you for this!!! Living in the now is less stressful and just doing what makes YOU happy. The time is absolutely right now. I needed to read this today. Seriously!!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am so glad to have been of service! You are the one this was written for! Namaste 🙂

  8. Sondra Barker

    Such an inspiring post. I don’t like waiting for life to come to me. I much rather go and get what I need. Believe me, I don’t find anything wrong with patience, but there is nothing wrong with chasing what you see right in front of you. Great post.

  9. Unfortunately we used to be victims of waiting for retirement. We used to day dream all the time and come up with elaborate plans for our retirement. (Most involving travelling the world) Lucky for us, we woke up and realised we should be living every day and not waiting for retirement.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that Wanderlust! 🙂

  10. colleen wool

    I love your post. i have waited too long for many things.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Well Colleen, time to stop waiting! You don’t have to dive right in if that is scary for you…take baby steps! 🙂

  11. It is true that sometimes we have to wait because you will never know what awaits us in the future. But upon waiting we have to do our best and take chances of everything we have for us not to regret anything at all. I always believe in God’s perfect time, and He is the only one who knew everything.
    Sarah-Louise Bailey recently posted…Spring is ComingMy Profile

  12. Elizabeth O.

    I love this! Why wait if you can do it now. Why wait for the perfect moment when you have a chance to do it everyday when you wake up.

  13. deb

    Great article! I believe in going after your dreams. Dreams will remain dreams if you keep waiting for them to come true! MAKE THEM COME TRUE 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      Let them come true! Once we stop waiting and move out of the way – they will come forth. Thanks for that Deb! 🙂

  14. I have spent the past two years of my life waiting. Waiting for test results, MRIs, blood work, this or that. It has been so very exhausting. One part of me doesn’t want to know the answers, the other says “come on let’s get this over with”. I have always been one to live in the moment, but with my current situation I have found myself in such a strange limbo of being forced to wait when I’d rather not. I think one of the most important lessons in all of this for me has been to just let go. On the other hand, with things going downhill for me waiting has definitely taken on a whole new meaning…I don’t want to wait, I CAN’T wait because if I don’t live in the moment I might not have the chance to later. So much keeps being taken away from me with this diagnosis. It has really inspired a new bravery in me to seize the day and not wait for “the right time” but to rather make the time I have the right time. Great read, very thought provoking as always 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      First, let me say that my hope is that you will rise above the limbo moment that you are experiencing right now. I have to agree with you that living in the moment might be what you need right now! Why not try that and share with us how it goes? Namaste.

  15. Robin Rue

    Being patient is also not one of my strong suits. I am steadily working on it every single day!

    1. Ms Claudette

      If my memory is serving me well this has been a thing for you Robin for some time now, right? I remember you saying that from our earlier post on patience.

  16. thi

    I am right with you there! I hate waiting because if I know I’m waiting for something, I tend to get anxieties as well. Some days are better than others, depending on how free my mind is, but most days, I’m running from thoughts to thoughts and get impatient. Great post, thank you for sharing. xoxo

  17. You’re right – some people will find that last quote a little crude. Some will likely find it MORE than a “little” crude. But me? I find it to be honest, and in that honesty, it perfectly expresses its point.

  18. I try to always be patient and wait. Some days are better than others. I do try to always live in the moment because tomorrow is promised to no one.
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  19. Kalee Dillard

    So true! I definitely don’t want to waste my life waiting for something else to happen. It’s so important to be present and enjoy every little moment.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Not one more minute ought to be wasted Kalee! Enjoy this and every moment you are blessed with! 🙂

  20. I absolutely love the idea that the moment you have been waiting for is right now. I know someone who is constantly complaining about the current state of life, yet he looks back with fondness at times he thought his situation was awful and now knows he had it good. If only he could have enjoyed it while he had it. I’ll be sharing this book with him. Thank you.

  21. As a writer, I know all to well the importance of patience. I used to be a reactive person but now I’ve trained myself to stay calm and I learned attraction marketing of my writing works best. Sort of “if you build it, they will come.” Where I used to cast a wide net and hope to make my catch, now I narrow down and get very specific on what I want to attract using my conversion funnels.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Richard, it is my belief that life and living is about “attraction.” As the saying goes, your vibes attract your tribe. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

  22. You are absolutely right. Live every moment. Great post.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thanks Ruth! I really don’t think we are living if we are waiting, right?

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