Down But Not Out: 4 Steps To Overcoming

Lesson From The US Election

down but not outThe past week has been an interesting one. We have seen the person who was almost written off as “cannot possibly win” do exactly that – win. We saw the one thought to be a virtual shoo-in lose. What we also saw were lessons not being learned; a collective of people, known as a party, not understanding that large sections of society are tired of not being heard. However, the greatest theme by the end of the week for me was “how to be down but not out.”

Losing at anything is often a bitter pill to swallow. The philosophers among us might even posit that there is no real loss but rather “learning to be gained.” Honestly, it is hard to argue that when you have been knocked down but not out as many times as some have been.

“Just because you’re down to your last strike, you’re not out yet. You can always do more. You’ll always have more at-bats to take. That’s true in baseball, in rescuing animals, and in life generally.” Tony La Russa

When You Are Down But Not Out

Politics is a great place to see examples of people who have been knocked out but not down. Sports is another arena as well. History is replete of people who have “been there and done that.” 

Failure can be crippling or it can be the crate upon which you stand to step into who you were meant to be. It is all about perspective – the one that you choose while lying on your back.

It is hard to believe much of anything coming from pundits these days. They told us that there was very little chance that Donald Trump could become the President of the United States. Some said that it would be a close race but Hillary Clinton would be the first female President of that country. Still others said that the newcomer to politics would win by a landslide. And, a great number said that Hillary would be the one to have that landslide win.  They were all wrong in one way, shape or form.

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Now that that is over, what should the rest of us learn from the experience? How do we handle defeat?

Four Steps To Getting Back Up

down but not outFear is the strongest feeling, at least in my experience, that comes over you while you are lying on your back. You wonder if you can ever recover, again, one more time, from what just knocked you over? If you are a believer, you might echo Jesus’ words upon the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

All of that is valid and my first suggestion to you is to embrace it. On your back is the worse place to be but to give in to fear in that moment is an even worse decision. Do not give in, neither should you deny that you are scared as hell! So what should you do? Reflect. That’s step one. Consider what brought you here. One of my favourite quotes of all times is “An unexamined life is not worth living.” I am convinced that Socrates had that thought from his rock-bottom moment.

Re-frame. This is something that was so hard, at first, for me to do. Reality was that I was molested. The reality was I was physically abused by my husband. The reality is I am a black woman in a world that is once again and increasingly expressing racist tendencies. However, then or now, giving up was not an option. I had to see the experience from a different angle – and so can you.

Instead of saying, “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues” say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.” Horacio Jones

Getting Up Stronger

When you fall, whatever you were carrying – every dream, every hope scatter. When you are down but not out, you Re-group. That includes allowing what “fell” to stay on the ground. You might even need to kick them even further away from you. Those “things” will include some of the ideas you held, people who scattered as you fell and possessions that the bailiff took. Let them go. As you reflect and re-frame, new ideas, new tools and new methods will come into focus. Trust the inspiration coming to you. Follow the guidance.

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phoenixAnd, once you are good and ready, feeling like you can stand again – it is time to Re-Emerge. As I listen to the pundits now, I hear them offering their “sage” (not) advice how both political parties can do just that.

Those of you have followed this blog know that I love relocating and have done so many times in my life. What they might have missed is that it is the re-emerging, the transforming of a new space is what truly excites me. Being down but not out gives you the opportunity to get up stronger but you have to do the work. You have to reflect to understand what brought you down. You have to re-frame to gain a new perspective and direction for your life. Re-grouping gives you the opportunity to equip yourself with the tools and surround yourself with the people who can hold your new vision. Then and only then are you ready to fully re-emerge!

Let Me Help You

My friend and Contributor, Michael Ballard calls this being resilient and he is so right! We can support you through these four R’s.

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Have a great week,

Namaste

 

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43 thoughts on “Down But Not Out: 4 Steps To Overcoming

  1. Elizabeth O.

    We have to consider this as a challenge, something that we should not easily give up on. The recent elections definitely divided the people here in the US but it’s also another beginning, if we look at it that way, we can all work together and stand up as one.

  2. There is not doubt that the US elections took a toll on us and it’s up to us on how we’ll get back up. I love these steps that you have here, it’s all about coming out as a better person.

  3. the phoenix is a great symbol of overcoming. It’s the symbol for one of my fraternal organizations and very meaningful. With that said, I agree with many of the sentiments in this post to overcome a perceived ‘fall’.

    1. Ms Claudette

      One of the first “organisation” that I ever joined – at the ripe old age of 10 years – was called The Phoenix Youth Club. I have always loved that symbol. Thanks for the visit Rain. 🙂

  4. This election has brought on a lot of bullying which is very sad to see in my opinion 🙁 For a country that is actively trying to cut back on bullying… It’s doing a terrible job.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, sadly many are not practicing what they preach. Thanks for the visit and comment GiGi! 🙂

  5. The stress of the election has been over whelming! I couldn’t believe how mean people can be on social media. I had to block a few people because they love attacking when you don’t agree with them.

    1. Ms Claudette

      That is the sad place that many are in Glenda. Really sad – on all side. Thanks for the visit! 🙂

  6. People need to fight and overcome fear, but not to the extent that it becomes ‘damaging’ and ‘hurtful’ of others. I can’t stress enough on the importance of facing your fears and actually doing something about them. Life is short and we should do what we can & what we love while we still can – live in the now & live without regrets. Each time that I find myself in a situation wherein I have a dilemma, I always ask this question: If not now, when? Then there goes my answer.
    R U S S recently posted…Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!My Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      That is a powerful and poignant question to always ask oneself! Thanks for the visit and comment. 🙂

  7. CourtneyLynne

    Yes. People need to stop being mad and move on and let things be. Come together and make this country great and strong instead on fighting. Fighting does nothing!

    1. Ms Claudette

      There is a difference between fighting and speaking truth to power – we must be careful not to try to silence those voices. Namaste Courtney. 🙂

  8. There is so much positivity in this post, and I’m so grateful for that.
    And I really like the center theme, failure or the rough days never mean permanent defeat — ever!

    1. Ms Claudette

      No it never does! Thank you for your kind words. 🙂

  9. LOVE it! EPIC POST! such great motivation and wisdom shared. I loved that you correctly themed it with the boxers too.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you Enricoh! Thank you very much for your visit and comment. Most grateful. 🙂

  10. Great tips! I think there is lesson learned for many people during the US Election. In general, there is only one winner and many losses. This is a good reminder that down is not out. Continue the fight and overcoming it.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Life goes on Sharon. That is the bottom line. Thanks for the visit and comment! 🙂

  11. Lessons can always be learned from events like this. Brilliant post!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Always! We are always learning. Thanks for the visit and comment Ellie! 🙂

  12. So true that there will be great lessons learned from this election season. I think Hilary has been such a role model right down to how she is handling this loss.

    1. Ms Claudette

      There is always a lesson to be learned in every situation – no matter what side you are on. Thanks for the visit and comment Erin! 🙂

  13. I’ve tried to stay out of the election. I didn’t see a good ending either way.

    1. Ms Claudette

      And that was your right Laura. Anyhow you see it, that’s fine. We all will live with the consequences of the decisions. 🙂

  14. Learn from the failure, the fall, learn from the loss, reframe and come back stronger… A powerful message Claudette. If one looks at life’s challenges like this they are definitely down but not out! Its been so emotional for many, who took the wins and fails personal. Its time to look at whats important what really matters in life, and do the needful!
    Julie Syl

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thanks for the confirmation Julie and the visit. 🙂

  15. Jenni Petrey

    I love this and it is so true. I keep telling both my children that no matter what happens they just have to keep on trying and never give up

    1. Ms Claudette

      Good motivation for them Jenni! 🙂

  16. I love this! And it’s so true! I always try to come back stronger.
    Amber Myers recently posted…Tips To Get People To Buy From Your Direct Sales BusinessMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      “What doesn’t kill you make you stronger!” It’s true! Thanks for the visit Amber. 🙂

  17. I think reflecting is one of the biggest things you can do when you are knocked down. you can ask yourself how did I get up last time? Or why did I get knocked down in the first place. Its a great way to sharpen your life.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I love that – “how did I get up the last time?” If you did it once, you can do it again…might need a little more help and/or tweaking but you can. Thanks for that Mihaela! 🙂

  18. I so needed to hear this! Thank you for also validating people’s fears. It’s ok to be scared but it’s what you do with those fears that matter most.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Exactly! That is what I just wrote to someone else. Because you or I might be able to “snap out of it” in minutes, that is not everyone’s process. Thanks so much Amanda for adding that. 🙂

  19. It has been so sad to me to see so many people living in fear this week. Fear paralyzes. We can’t move forward unless we put the emotional hype aside, remember that the president only has so much power, and not allow other people’s drama fuel our own worries. I am encouraged that every time I and down God helps me back up again!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Each person handle their fear in their own way. While I know that fear paralyzes, I leave people to their process. 🙂

  20. The 4 Rs is such a great description for this journey. I also find reframing a difficult step. And I really like the thought of leaving what fell on the ground, or even kicking it further away. Thanks.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome Julie! Yes, I found kicking stuff out of my way quite useful. What’s the point of hanging on?

  21. I love all your positive posts. These are all great reminders. Reflection is truly the greatest first step we can take when we feel defeated. This allows us to do the rest that you have listed out. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you so much for your kind words and for your visit! 🙂

  22. I like your suggestions. I’d rearrange them for myself. Re-framing helps me a lot to get to Reflection.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Awesome! I am glad you found it useful Cori! 🙂

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