They Do Not Repeat
It was about this time last year that I wrote a piece about changing direction in life. I laid out my life plan, one I had had since early childhood, and then carefully explained how it was ripped away and I hit a wall. After licking my wounds, I changed direction. Since then, I have changed direction countless times and it is startling to see how different my life has turned out than I expected. Seasons change, they do not repeat.
Though I am happy with my life right now, I will not lie, I still feel a little pang when I think about the romance of digging up the Saharan sands with a trowel and dusting off old relics. Yet seasons change and that one is gone.
Yet, as Autumn approaches (oh it is coming, Pumpkin Spiced Lattes are back so it is official) I am reflecting on how the seasonal change will impact my life and trying to pin point what season of life I am in.
Off All The Seasons
I am not sure if I mentioned it before but autumn is my absolute favorite season. There is something a little mystical about it. The trees turning colors, paints the landscapes in ways that seem dreamlike. The air has crispness to it and I manage to always find the scent of some far off bonfire. And I cannot forget to mention that two very important people came into my life in the Fall. First my cat, about six years ago. Then my husband about 5 years ago and when each one waltzed into my life, the season I was in was different.
My cat, Imhotep, came to me at a point of great loneliness and hopelessness. It was a season of emotional drain and exhaustion. But that tiny fur ball was exactly what I needed. The next year, when I met my husband, I was in a season of questioning what I was meant for and what I was good at. I had just started my first semester of graduate school. Although I did not know it then, the people I was about to meet would give me a change in perspective that completely altered the way I looked at the world.
When autumn comes, I tend to become more introspective and pensive. The chilly cloudy days are the perfect excuse to curl up with the aforementioned Pumpkin Spiced Latte and have some quiet me-time. With this deeper level of introspection, I am beginning to navigate the season I am in. It is one of great changes and uncertainty. My hope is that the end of this season will bring a steadiness and soundness to my life.
After over a year of this stage of life, I could use a little stability. But with each period, as with the annual seasons, we get a lesson. I know the season I am in, of changing jobs, career paths, the state I live in and who I spend time with is all trying to teach me more about who I am and therefore, how to be better.
This season of chaos has shown me that:
- It is not necessary to wait for tranquility to make changes.
- I am strong enough to face the unknown. And it has shown me my weaknesses.
As I have mentioned before, I have decided to live intentionally and do my best to become a better person. This season has not always been comfortable and at some points was just plain awful. It has taught me, however, a lot and I intend to bring all the things I have learned into the next season. I hope to get a better grasp on the rest of the lessons I need to learn before my season changes. But then again, our seasons of life last just long enough for us to learn what we need, right?
No matter what season you are in, I wish you good luck. Soak in the easy seasons and dig in deep for the tougher ones. And remember, this will not be forever. Seasons change.
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Have a great week!