Grass: Greener Here Or There?

Appreciate What Is

grass“I will feel better when… If only we had… our place would look so much nicer if…” The greener grass syndrome.

I am a little ashamed to say that a good percentage of my thoughts begin with each of those. Always thinking am I that once one thing changes, big or small, then everything else will fall into place. Then I will be satisfied. No, instead, my life becomes a sort of jigsaw puzzle. I make one change and then have to consider another.

The worst part is that I never learn. For me the grass is not only always greener on the other side, No matter how green mine is, it is not green enough. I rarely ever stop to actually appreciate the new change and what it brings. I just move on to the next obstacle without seeing how much better my life has become.

The Grass Of This New City

grassRight now, I am sitting in our new apartment in my home state. It is spacious and close to all of my friends and family. But instead of taking it all in, I have been constantly saying, “When the house is set up the way I want, then I can relax, then I will be content.”“When I finally get a job, then my life will be better, then all my problems will disappear.” The grass will be greener once everything is in its place and our new furniture arrives.

Another thought that comes to me often is that once I have my income (and I will use it to fill our new house with even more things) it will be better. Even as I am writing this article, I am realizing just how often I think this way. This is definitely on the wrong end of the spectrum.

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Where are you with this? Regardless of where you personally lie on that spectrum, you will probably never completely get rid of that mentality. It is our nature to strive for better. There comes a point, however, when it is not purely an issue of bettering your life or yourself (a task I support completely). That point is when you are forgetting, like me, to take a moment and realize what you have.

Look At Your Own Grass

Take a minute to look at your own grass. It is probably pretty damn green. If you have become so accustomed to wanting more and have become colorblind to your own side of the fence, you are not alone. I am there now. So, as I write this, I am shifting perspectives to look at my life versus someone who has less than me. My grass is greener than someone else’s. My life, as it is now, is something that someone else out there would kill for.

So now we have to ask ourselves some questions:

  • When will the grass be green enough?
  • At what point will we truly be satisfied?
  • What experiences and special moments will we miss on our quest for the greenest grass?

grassI know that I have missed spending quality time with my friends and family purely because I was mentally checked out. Making lists and organizing the house in my head preoccupied me. I have not enjoyed going rollerblading (my favorite summer activity) because I have pictured what I can buy once I get a steady income. It is pretty clear that I am losing more than I am gaining by being consumed with these ideas. Am I a colorblind woman hell-bent on greener grass that I will never actually get to enjoy?

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It Is A Trap

Greener grass is a trap. And it is worse when you are comparing it to other people’s grass. The jealousy you feel will grow unless it is checked. It can definitely ram a wedge between you and your friends and family.

For example, I have to be extra careful when comparing my life to my sister’s life because we were always pitted against one another as who had the better ______ or who was better at ________. Now she has had some success in her career and the greener grass engine that drives me makes it easy to wish I had what she had.

That is not who I want to be. I hope it is not who you want to be. Ideally, as I work on this weakness, I will get to the point where I can appreciate all the various hues of green yards around me without lusting after them. Hope you will join me on that journey.

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We welcome Alexis’ return to our blogging fold. She could not have returned at a better times as we pose some of Life’s Big Questions throughout this month. Be sure not to miss any, subscribe and you will get a daily update of our posts straight to your inbox! Your feedback and comments are always welcomed, so please leave us some in the section below!

Have a great week, month and Fall!

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26 thoughts on “Grass: Greener Here Or There?

  1. Such a wonderful reminder that we should just count our blessings and stay positive with life. Comparing your life with someone else is not going to help as everyone has their own problems which you never know! Thanks for the inspiring article!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome Lisa and thanks for sharing your insight and for visiting. 🙂

  2. Thank you for reminding us through your article to stop and smell the flowers and count our blessings. We move too fast now and forget to reflect.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome Janine! Thanks for visiting! 🙂

  3. In my life, I always had a backup plan of the backup plan for my life “plan”. So basically if I want something right now, I will most likely replace it with something different in 5 min. What I’m saying is that I never actually felt like I’m missing anything from my life, because I just somehow make it work… That’s how my neighbours grass is never greener than mine.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You go Annie! We all must develop our own strategies for maintaining our own grass and stop looking over the fence. 🙂

  4. The grass is greener where you nurture it or its allowed to grow freely or in a well nurtured environment…either way it always appears greener to those who do not take the time to admire the fact that it grew from a tiny invisible seed to a dominating sea of green in an expanse of ground.

    It is a trap indeed, in people’s minds. a Comparitis malaise that one must cut off fast!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Love your Latin Dr. Sylvia! Great points! 🙂

  5. Love! It seems we are never satisfied with what we have or our situation. Always looking and wanting to be where the next person or what we may think is better place. Great reminder for me this morning.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Glad we were able to do that Mom! 🙂

  6. It’s never a single destination. It is always the journey. Grass is green everywhere!
    Carol Cassara recently posted…Through the looking glassMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that Carol! 🙂

  7. Elizabeth O.

    With all the problems we encounter in our lives we always forget about how blessed we really are. It’s important to check every once in a while, to see that our lives are actually so much better than how it was a few years back.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right Elizabeth, so right! 🙂

  8. This is truly one of the most difficult things to deal with. I personally experienced this before, wishing something else for myself. But it is important to develop a sense of gratitude so we can stop wishing for something that we don’t have.

    Abby of Life in the Fash Lane
    Abby recently posted…It’s a Wrap!My Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      Personally, I don’t feel there is anything wrong with having desires but if they take you completely off seeing what is currently positive in your life, therein lies the problem. Thanks for sharing Abby!

  9. It is just no fun always looking forward to the future. Life would be so much more enjoyable if we learn to take it day by day and enjoy all the little things around us whether in the big city or the big country.

    1. Ms Claudette

      There is a gospel that says just that Anita – do you know it? One Day At A Time! 🙂

  10. Congrats on the move and it really is a blessing to have friends and family so close so, I hope you DO take the time to enjoy your ‘grass’ 😉

    1. Ms Claudette

      On Alexis’ behalf, thank you very much Rain! 🙂

  11. Everyone’s journey is different and it’s sad when others always try to compare themselves to others. The grass isn’t always greener.
    Stacey Loring recently posted…Snarky Meme Sunday Week 2My Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      Exactly our point Stacey! Thanks for sharing your perspective. 🙂

  12. [ Smiles ] I am appreciative of my unique shade of green; which is way better than being dry and brown-looking; in other words, “Count your blessings, because there are people who are worse off than you.”

    Thank you for another inspirational blog post!

    1. Ms Claudette

      And thank you Renard for another poignant comment. 🙂

  13. I agree. You have to make the grass green where you are.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Right where you are and it will spread! Thanks for that Laura! 🙂

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