What To Do When Big Life Questions Get Asked

Trigger Warnings

questionsWhat do you do when you hit a wall with one of life’s big stuff events? What could you do, when you feel overwhelmed? Who do you connect with? When?

For some this article could contain trigger words or phrases. First, there is no wrong answer(s), feelings or thoughts unless self-harm or harm of others is a potential. Second, each of us use language differently. So words and phrases that I find easy to use  and 100% acceptable you might not enjoy or find mildly to very disrespectful. I look forward to a respectful discussion if you disagree with any of the content.

All words and phrases used here were used with respect by others as they conversed with me in our coaching sessions or as their trainer, friend and/or neighbour.  Many of them I have heard several times and a few are relatively new to me. Do let me know what you think.

Big Life Questions And Stuff

bigSo what do you do, what have you done and what should you do to support yourself when life’s big stuff challenges strike? That could be personal, relationship, family, friend, classmate, or a current or past neighbour. They happen to all of us. Something big happens and hurts. What do you do?

Here are some responses that you could consider.

Create space and quiet time to:

  • read a book
  • watch a movie
  • take a soak in the tub
  • call a friend
  • write a letter
  • write in your journal
  • visit a friend
  • go to a special spot for reflection
  • calm yourself through steady movement or stillness via music, sounds of nature, a mediation practise

Create and use active time to:

  • energize yourself through activity and or conversation and or observation
  • go to a special spot to burn off some energy and unwind

Walk It Out

There are so many other activities that you can get involved in when these big moments or questions are posed. Some other good ones are a walk round your floor, your building, your block, to the park, around the office. A meditative walk, no talking is another one, using slow to mid-range speed with a  steady pace and steady breaths.

READ  New Year, Better Woman

Yoga, martial arts, hiking, biking, swimming and doing your favourite hobby are also very good ways to centre yourself. Going to a therapist, mental health specialist or, as some irreverently calls it, “The Crazy Doctor.” Seeing a stretch  or wellness coach is a great option as well. Never discount the effect volunteering, helping someone else out, can have to calm you in these moments.

After Reflecting

  1.  Make a list
  2. Create a call to action to get the feelings acknowledged and thought out. This will help you develop your next steps to move forward

This is not supposed to be an exhaustive list, however it will get you thinking and moving into action for your sake.

When should you start? Why not now?

Relaxation Exercise

stressI have a gift for you. No strings attached. It is an exercise that you can practise gently for at least 21 days in a row then 3 or 4 days a week for another two or three weeks. Then once or twice a week for maintenance.

Clients of mine have used this exercise. One former coaching client in particular comes to mind. I only took her on after confirming that she was under a doctor’s care and that her migraine were not caused by a medical condition. She had 5 – 7 migraines a month. This was one of the main exercises she did to break the cycle of those darn migraines. Within four months or so, she had them down to 0 – zero every month! She helped her mind/body create ways to cope and an outlet to release stress. Her headaches disappeared by the fifth month. This was exciting news for someone who had migraines for 15+ years.

READ  Life Big Questions And Some Answers

Developing and deepening your ability to notice stress and learn how to relax sooner and more completely is very important. You will be surprised at how effective it is when big events happen in your life. Listen to The Chair: A Relaxation Exercise and you can follow the link to download. It has helped me change how I now respond to stress and anxiety. I had a seven-year battle with two bouts of cancer and a failed medical procedure that led to me having emergency surgery at midnight. This exercise can make a big difference in your life.

Final Questions

So this article was not intended to be a through list. It is meant to stimulate a conversation with yourself and/or with someone you can trust. Being stuck is not fun. Ask for help.

Leaving you with a  couple of question:

  1. How do you see life’s stressful situations? A time to learn lessons or an ultimatum? For those of us who work towards seeing each stressful situation as a lesson to be learned it can be much less stressful.
  2. Who do you have on your support team. We all need and deserve one. The time to build one is now.

Until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.

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43 thoughts on “What To Do When Big Life Questions Get Asked

  1. […] in the dramatic productions we get caught in or we can choose how we shall live. Asking myself that Big Question, “How Shall I Live?” my choices for the rest of my life […]

  2. Chuck

    Interesting article! For some reason I got to question myself about this too.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Well do let us know what you come up with Chuck. 🙂

    2. Pleased you enjoyed it
      Michael recently posted…Learning how to Bounce!My Profile

  3. Alas, I lack some manpower for my support team. Thanks for raising it up, I realized that although these things posted are doable for me, I kind of need some people behind my back as well.
    Karlaroundtheworld | Karla recently posted…Must See in Victoria, BCMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome Karla! Glad that our post resonated with you. 🙂

  4. Thanks for sharing. Praying and exercise provide stress relief for me.

    1. Wise words. Yes indeed.
      Michael recently posted…Learning how to Bounce!My Profile

    2. Ms Claudette

      Stress relief is different for each of us so I am glad that you have found your methods Sharon! 🙂

  5. Rosey

    A relaxation exercise is a good thing. Nice of you to share.

  6. I take those questions by the HORNS and I answer them! I am not scared of BIG LIFE QUESTIONS – they have to be answered. If you ignore them… You will only be cheating yourself!

    1. Ms Claudette

      It takes courage to answer some of them but you are not one to back down I can tell Gigi! 🙂

  7. Definitely some great ideas here!!!

    1. Ms Claudette

      We are all please you found them helpful Jill! 🙂

  8. Elizabeth O.

    When we experience something with this much of an impact, most of the time we can’t figure out how to get back up. I love these suggestions that you have, it’s definitely going to help a lot especially if you don’t know what to do.

    1. Thank you Elizabeth Pleased you found them of value
      Michael recently posted…Learning how to Bounce!My Profile

  9. I really need to learn these excercises, I freak out way too much.

    1. Understood. Are you interested in some skills to help?

  10. Nicole Escat

    I love your post. It’s been a while since I last meditate!

    1. Try working it into every day life I like to supplement my usual meditation with meditative walking, meditative swimming and other versions…

  11. Very insightful. It is definitely getting into the high stress time of the year.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You mean Christmas Anita? Doesn’t have to be though. We will be sure to share why it can be different.

  12. Exercise, music and food in no particular order are my go to activities when I am pushing through a challenging time…I reflect, meditate, cook up a storm, run hard, literally like I am being chased by Godzilla, then I get home throw on the music get into my Jacuzzi and sing it it out…My neighbours say I sing good 🙂

    1. Good on you!! I love to swim hard when I’m stressed I find it to be great exercise and soothing That heading off to the library for some great reading choices

    2. Ms Claudette

      For their sake I really hope you do Sylvia! 🙂 Sounds like a great stress management strategy to me. 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are welcome, Laura! 🙂

  13. Thanks so much for sharing , sometimes being able to write in a journal works a lot for me

    1. Ms Claudette

      “Writing clarifies,” is something I heard years ago and it is indeed true Nancy! 🙂

      1. Yes a journal. Wise. Helps slow the brain down and clarify things.
        Michael recently posted…Learning how to Bounce!My Profile

  14. When I get extremely stressed I shut down. I mean I work great under stress, but once it piles up, I shut down. I can’t even gather myself enough to communicate with anyone, I just lock myself in a room and wait it out, while binge watching series.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Sounds like me, Annie. If that is what re-floats your boat, go for it.

  15. [ Smiles ] Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

    1. Renard you are very welcome It’s a group effort Many help me through sharing

    2. Ms Claudette

      And that he is, wise. Thanks for stopping by Renard. 🙂

  16. When my mom passed away unexpectedly this past May, it was a very stressful time in my life. Reading took my mind off of it for a while and helped me relax and feel less stressful.

    1. A favourite way for me to pass time during times of high levels of stress as well.
      Michael recently posted…Learning how to Bounce!My Profile

  17. Always pleased to share lessons learned. Thank you for the opportunity.
    Michael recently posted…Learning how to Bounce!My Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      And we are always happy to have you share here, Michael! 🙂

      1. 🙂 Delighted and honoured

          1. Another skill to share
            Belly Breathing Good for all ages.
            NEVE while operating equipment
            http://www.slideshare.net/Resilientmichael/belly-breathing-skill
            Michael recently posted…Learning how to Bounce!My Profile

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