What do you do when you hit a wall with one of life’s big stuff events? What could you do, when you feel overwhelmed? Who do you connect with? When?
For some this article could contain trigger words or phrases. First, there is no wrong answer(s), feelings or thoughts unless self-harm or harm of others is a potential. Second, each of us use language differently. So words and phrases that I find easy to use and 100% acceptable you might not enjoy or find mildly to very disrespectful. I look forward to a respectful discussion if you disagree with any of the content.
All words and phrases used here were used with respect by others as they conversed with me in our coaching sessions or as their trainer, friend and/or neighbour. Many of them I have heard several times and a few are relatively new to me. Do let me know what you think.
Big Life Questions And Stuff
So what do you do, what have you done and what should you do to support yourself when life’s big stuff challenges strike? That could be personal, relationship, family, friend, classmate, or a current or past neighbour. They happen to all of us. Something big happens and hurts. What do you do? Well, you need to find a way to cope and it needs to be something that you’re comfortable doing, as if you’re not, it could make the situation a lot worse. Some people like to stay by themselves, some may decide to meet with friends, and others may decide to take alternative medications such as CBD oil to see if this can help them to face their biggest life questions head-on. But what other options are available to us?
Here are some responses that you could consider.
Create space and quiet time to:
- read a book
- watch a movie
- take a soak in the tub
- call a friend
- write a letter
- write in your journal
- visit a friend
- go to a special spot for reflection
- calm yourself through steady movement or stillness via music, sounds of nature, a mediation practise
Create and use active time to:
- energize yourself through activity and or conversation and or observation
- go to a special spot to burn off some energy and unwind
Walk It Out
There are so many other activities that you can get involved in when these big moments or questions are posed. Some other good ones are a walk round your floor, your building, your block, to the park, around the office. A meditative walk, no talking is another one, using slow to mid-range speed with a steady pace and steady breaths.
Yoga, martial arts, hiking, biking, swimming and doing your favourite hobby are also very good ways to centre yourself. Going to a therapist, mental health specialist or, as some irreverently calls it, “The Crazy Doctor.” Seeing a stretch or wellness coach is a great option as well. Never discount the effect volunteering, helping someone else out, can have to calm you in these moments.
- Make a list
- Create a call to action to get the feelings acknowledged and thought out. This will help you develop your next steps to move forward
This is not supposed to be an exhaustive list, however it will get you thinking and moving into action for your sake.
When should you start? Why not now?
I have a gift for you. No strings attached. It is an exercise that you can practise gently for at least 21 days in a row then 3 or 4 days a week for another two or three weeks. Then once or twice a week for maintenance.
Clients of mine have used this exercise. One former coaching client in particular comes to mind. I only took her on after confirming that she was under a doctor’s care and that her migraine were not caused by a medical condition. She had 5 – 7 migraines a month. This was one of the main exercises she did to break the cycle of those darn migraines. Within four months or so, she had them down to 0 – zero every month! She helped her mind/body create ways to cope and an outlet to release stress. Her headaches disappeared by the fifth month. This was exciting news for someone who had migraines for 15+ years. Another popular solution that a lot of people are opting for nowadays is medical marijuana, so much so that specialist surgeries are opening up all the time, like Green Health Docs. I’d like to give it a whirl next time I feel a migraine coming on.
Developing and deepening your ability to notice stress and learn how to relax sooner and more completely is very important. You will be surprised at how effective it is when big events happen in your life. Listen to The Chair: A Relaxation Exercise and you can follow the link to download. It has helped me change how I now respond to stress and anxiety. I had a seven-year battle with two bouts of cancer and a failed medical procedure that led to me having emergency surgery at midnight. This exercise can make a big difference in your life.
So this article was not intended to be a through list. It is meant to stimulate a conversation with yourself and/or with someone you can trust. Being stuck is not fun. Ask for help.
Leaving you with a couple of question:
- How do you see life’s stressful situations? A time to learn lessons or an ultimatum? For those of us who work towards seeing each stressful situation as a lesson to be learned it can be much less stressful.
- Who do you have on your support team. We all need and deserve one. The time to build one is now.
Until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.
Sign up and be part of this community where we share information and tips that are “Always Inspiring, Insightful and In-depth!” Check out previous post in this month’s series on Life’s Big Questions by Contributor, Alexis Ali.