Do You Know Who Your Friends Are?

Social Media Changed Everything

Facebook has made everyone friends but are they really? What does being someone’s friend really means to you?

My mother did not have many friends and, for very different reasons, I am along that same path. With the advent of social media and the loose understanding of the word, many have given second thought to the meaning of friendship.

Since this relationship status changed on Facebook, I have revisited how I use it.

Who Are Your Friends?

β€œA friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” Elbert Hubbard

Friend is used for my contacts on social media. Even my daughter is included in that. Those who have a deeper relationship with me, the overwhelming majority being women, are my Sistah-Friends. Elbert Hubbard said it well. These women know the ins and outs of my life, the ‘good’ and the horrible. They know that I am not angel although there are angelic moments. My Sistah-Friends know my fears and how many tears I have shed.

Yet, they still love me.

friendsHenri J.M. Nouwen is one of my favourite Teachers, he has led me out of many moments of despair, reminding me what truly matters. It is from him that I learned my cherished term for my “friends” – wounded healer. It is with his words that captions today’s picture in our series “A Picture Is Worth More Than A Thousand Words.”

β€œWhen we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

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30 thoughts on “Do You Know Who Your Friends Are?

  1. It is very important to know who your friends are. When trouble comes that is a very good time to know who they are,trust me. It is better to have a small circle of good friends than be surrounded by persons who do not mean you any good.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Oh, I do trust you on that Mardene. πŸ™‚ It is my life.

  2. Yes, I have a few select friends. some that i met exclusively on the internet that I probably wouldn’t have met without the net so i’m glad.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am like you with having a few Sistah-friends who I met through the Internet and I am so grateful we entered each other’s lives. Thanks for stopping by Rain. πŸ™‚

  3. This post speaks volumes about social media, its very true harder to know your true friends because social media has masked all πŸ™‚
    peace kairu recently posted…ALL WHITE PARTYMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      Masked! That is such an apt description of the state of friendships nowadays! Thanks for that Peace. πŸ™‚

  4. Sue T

    It is such a coincidence that just hours before today, I was reading this New York Times article that mentions a research that showed only “about 50% of perceived friendships are mutual.” Best part of the article is where it define friendship as not what the other can do for you, but what you both can become in each other’s presence.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I love that Sue, “what you both can do in each other’s presence!” πŸ™‚

  5. I have very few friends and I’m at the point in life that when people introduce me as their friend my facial expression changes. Lol. No, we aren’t friends. We just met and decided to have lunch together. The photo shows friendship, togetherness, support through thick and thin.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I know exactly what you mean! I too stumble when introduced as someone’s friends when they know so little about me or might run screaming if they knew even half of the tales! LOL

  6. Excellent article. I know exactly what a friend should be but it is sometimes difficult to see through the smoke screen to the heart and intentions of someone. For that reason, I mainly stick to the tried and true, ride or die few that I call friend. It’s not that I’m standoffish. It’s just that I am a loyal and caring friend and I want the same. And it hurts deeply to consider someone a friend and they show you they are not.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You and I are exactly on the same page Clearissa! Same line in fact as I know exactly what you mean! Thanks for sharing your perspective. πŸ™‚

  7. Nicole Escat

    Yes, social media really affects the way we live and even our relationships with friends are sometimes ruined.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right Nicole, so right! πŸ™‚

  8. That picture is a beautiful representation of what true friends are. I have a few true friends outside of facebook–and have made some true friends on as well. Quality not quantity is the key!

    1. Ms Claudette

      That most certainly is the key, Michele. Thanks for visiting! πŸ™‚

  9. This is such a great point! I tend to use social media more for business and keep my personal life personal.
    Wendy recently posted…The #1 Thing to Improve Your Child’s Health That You Probably Aren’t DoingMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      That is one way of dealing with it – and a great one Wendy! πŸ™‚

  10. I have an arrangement of friends and do keep them sorted in my friends list as aquaintences and close friends. I know who my friends are, and I know who I would like to have become closer friends. It is hard to explain to the younger set though.

    1. Ms Claudette

      It most certainly is hard so I don’t try. LOL! Thanks for your perspective Julie! πŸ™‚

  11. I have Facebook Friends, Social Friends, Family Friends and The Closest and dearest blood related or not are FAMILY! I love your term Sistah-friends and the men are called…. πŸ™‚ Yes we gotta know who our real friends are. And the best way to find out is to start your own home business, make it an internet based one and you k ow WHO really is your friend fast lol!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I have no name for the men-friends in my life. Maybe because I have none on that level? LOL! I hear you about the “friends” and their disappearing act when you start a business! LOL

  12. Elizabeth O.

    Ever since social media became popular the term “Friend” has changed a lot. These days people who barely know you refer to you as a friend. I love that you call your close friends, sistah-friends! That’s so adorable! Your picture is so lovely!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thanks Elizabeth – as always! I could not agree with you more. πŸ™‚

  13. As my life has evolved with stages of my kids lives I have really noticed who is my friend and there for me and not just around because of circumstances.
    Jessica recently posted…Hand Painted Wooden SpoonsMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      Sadly so many are only around when it suits them, eh Jessica? Glad that your eyes have opened. πŸ™‚

  14. I think reciprocity is the key to identifying friends. Anything that is one sided is not a friendship.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Ament to that Carol! πŸ™‚

  15. this is such an important post.when people just decide to be quiet with you and listen to the stuff you have trouble saying thats when you know who to value.
    Momina Arif recently posted…6.2.16.1.My Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      The best kind of people to have beside you, Momina. Thanks for that. πŸ™‚

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