Someone Disappeared? Let Them

Gone Forever

disappearedSearched high and low to find an image of the pen that almost got me the whopping of my life. Just as I searched 45+ years ago to find the one that disappeared. Never found that multi-cartridge pen that my uncle brought back from his stint in the United States. Just as I could not find an imagine of it today on the Worldwide Web.

What has not disappeared is the memory of it or the “back siding” my mother gave me.

The Pen That Disappeared

I was warned not to take the pen to school but which child would listen to that when they possessed the very thing that could make them the centre of attraction?

When I discovered that it had disappeared, I searched every crevice along the paths I had taken that day. Not finding it and knowing the hell and powder house that was going to occur when my mother found out, I ran away. Well not quite. I hightailed to my father’s family house, a place that I might have visited twice before. That is another story, my infrequent visits to the Esterines.

As night fell, my half-brother took me home promising to plead on my behalf. We held high hopes that his pleas would soften my mother’s hardening heart as he had done so before. That too is another story.

He failed and I was severely whipped and chastised.

In that incident, I learned my first lesson in disappearing possessions. It would pave the way for how I dealt with the people who disappeared from my life and problem solving for a couple more decades:

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“Hang on to things, people, anything that has material and emotional value or are status symbols with your dear life – or get an ass whipping!”

Grip Or Release

disappearSo I hung on! For dear life I gripped:

  • Every relationship or friendship even if the other party did not want to relate to me any longer
  • Pieces of papers that said I had earned certification, a degree, experience even though I had suffered through the course, job, etc and hated every second

If it disappeared, I would hunt and tie it down so tightly, preferring it dying than allow it to “leave” me. That is exactly what I did when a long-term relationship started dying in its 9th year. Seven years later when it finally gave up the ghost and up and disappeared – literally and metaphorically – I started to learn the real lesson in disappearing acts.

Let them go.

What Is Yours Will Remain

In Jamaica we have a saying: “What a fi yuh can’t be un-fi-yuh.” Translation: What is yours is yours.

It would take me six more years to earn my degree in “Goodbye Psychology.” My professor, Life, was patient and allowed me to repeat classes and courses, gave me extra lessons and set for me the most rigorous examinations. I graduated when I was truly ready to let everything, everyone and every situation disappear once they had fulfill their purpose in my life.

disappearWhen this post was first published, it was the first anniversary at my previous job with a not-for-profit organization. It was a proud moment for me not because I was going to receive a fat bonus cheque or something. My pride stemmed from the fact that this “Enjoyment Employment” is one of the several rewards that my professor, Life, has given to me.

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My certification in “Goodbye” meant that, finally I was ready to:

  1. Work with an organization not for money but for the richness of service
  2. Cherish friendships for their heart value and not popularity ranking
  3. Allow my most precious gift, my daughter, to be who she wants to be
  4. Love wastefully anyone even those who piss me off
  5. Release easily anything and anyone
The Next Class

Now, my remaining class through which I will receive a doctorate in “Goodbye’ is in “The Joys of a Fully Free and Totally Unconditional Intimate Relationship.” I think I entered that classroom door recently, entering with my heart wide open and my palms uplifted to What feeds my soul. The words on my heart are simple:

“Take me as I am.”

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Today’s Challenge Word in our Summer series is “Disappeared” as you can tell by now. Be blessed and be ready to accept that what disappears is no longer yours!

 

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18 thoughts on “Someone Disappeared? Let Them

  1. Such a wonderful post & I loved reading every part of it. I very much agree that it is going to be so hard to let people go away or things that we love so much. But life is all almost a drama & we need to move on!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I have grown to detest drama so much! Yes Lisa, we have to learn to move away from it. Thanks for your visit. 🙂

  2. Nicole Escat

    Very well said! Those words were really strongest one! And I agree the hardest part of our lives is to let go people or things that we love.

    1. Ms Claudette

      It indeed is Nicole but one of the best gifts you could give yourself. 🙂

  3. Wow, so well-written and moving. I have trouble with letting go, too. Best of luck in your new relationship. It sounds like it will be a fulfilling one 💗.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you Tiffany. I have let go of the outcome and taking each day at a time, allowing what is to be or come into my experience to so do. Namast.

  4. Elizabeth O.

    It will always be tough to let go of the things that you have in life especially if they are precious to you, but we have to learn how to properly let go otherwise we will be holding on to something that no longer has meaning. I really like this reminder and it’s a lesson that we must all learn.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thanks Elizabeth! And yes, it is necessary to let go of what or who has served their purpose in your life. 🙂

  5. Congrats to you for being able to pin down the root of your issue and for being willing to face it and free yourself from it!

    Letting go can be an extremely difficult thing for those of us who’ve had traumatic experiences that have created this totally fear-driven trigger in our psyche. For me it took learning that I am not alone here. As I look back over my life I see so many situations where Creator had my back even when I wasn’t consciously aware of it. Today I rest easy in knowing that nothing happens by accident and what seem like losses are really doorways to having more of what I want in my life.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed nothing happens by accident…that I totally believe after many years of feeling that I had to hang on because the “loss” must be an accident.

  6. This is very true. Not always easy to let go of things or people.
    Alicia recently posted…The Benefits of Breastfeeding After Age 1My Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      It is indeed not easy to let go, especially of people and the ones that are most toxic at that. Thanks for the visit Alicia.

  7. I have a hard tine of letting go of things always wanting to fix things makes it difficult in life. I loved reading your post and even thought of you as a child with that lost pen could relate right to you
    angie recently posted…Song for the Work WEekMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      Did you find my pen? LOL. Yes, it is a hard lesson – this one in letting go but not an impossible one Angie. Take the class as many times as you need to. Thanks for the visit.

  8. Wow! Those are strong words, but so very true. Sometimes it can be hard to let go. It can be even to know when it’s time to let go.

    1. Ms Claudette

      One thing about me is that I don’t hold back my feelings and thoughts…that is the best way to clear the table and keep only what/who supports your growth.

  9. I love your Jamaican saying. Some of us do have a hard time letting go of…things….people, anything. Sometimes I am that way.
    Carol Cassara recently posted…Chocolate or vanillaMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      It took me a longtime to earn my “degree” in letting go…and from time to time I do have to take a refresher course. Thanks as always Carol for your visit.

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