Lust: The Last Sin

Along With Gluttony

lustLust is defined as a “very strong sexual desire.” The conversations this month have focused on the seven deadly sins and virtues. We have covered all but two of sins – lust and gluttony. The order was not intentional. Contributors decided how they wished to take part in the month-long conversation and they left this one to me. Wonder why?

While we normally associate gluttony with food and in some cases material things, lust is a natural partner for the purposes of concluding our conversation on sins. Actually, the following is a republishing of a post on sex that was first shared on my former blog. When we think of this particular sin, sex is what first comes to mind, the type of sex depicted on sites such as m porn xxx. So I choose to stay with that and not delve into the other aspects of lusting.

What Does The Bible Say About Lust?

Let me be clear, this is not a religious conversation, however, as the notion or premise of the seven deadly sins is largely based on the Christian tradition reference is made to that Scripture on this subject. Quoting from Got A Question,

The dictionary definition of lust is “1) intense or unrestrained sexual craving, or 2) an overwhelming desire or craving.” The Bible speaks of lust in several ways. Exodus 20:14, 17 (NLT), “Do not commit adultery. . . Do not covet your neighbor’s house. Do not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else your neighbor owns,” or Matthew 5:28, “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Job 31:11-12 (NLT) sums up lust quite nicely: “For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished. It is a devastating fire that destroys to hell. It would wipe out everything I own.”

Sex is one of the most troubling, contentious, divisive issues within, outside and between the Church. That I think is a fair statement to make. There are so many rules governing or at least attempting to govern the sex life of people, particularly women, for centuries. My understanding of lust in the strictest sense of the definition and having sex are not the same things.

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lustSex, Lust And Celibacy

Me, I want it. Sex.

I like having sex, I like talking about sex and I like watching sex. You only have to check out men getting a BJ and you’ll see why I like it so much. It is intimate, passionate, and intense. I want all things sex. And by that, I mean sex toys as well. I do not know why there is a lot of hoo-ha about them! I mean if you love the feeling of high, would you be able to resist a bong? I guess everybody knows the answer to this question. So, yes, if you ask me about sex toys, I would probably state the factual information about them.

Take, for example, anal beads. These are spherical in shape and are known to provide pleasure in the bedroom (all good things are round). Materials of anal beads generally vary depending on where you buy them from. Though you can source cheap, jelly beads, it may increase the chances of bacterial growth inside genitals. That is why it could be a good idea to purchase medical-grade, body-safe silicone beads. However, even the best quality products should be kept clean for maintaining anal hygiene. That said, there are several methods that can be used for cleaning these accessories. Beads made of porous materials (like rubber and latex) may need extra care whereas non-porous materials (like silicone and glass) might just need a good scrub. The procedure of cleaning depends on the materials they (anal beads) are made of. Those who are interested in knowing more about safe and ready anal beads can visit websites like Love Plugs.

But to be honest, I want to be loved the same way I want to love (if that makes sense)!

Prude, I am not. Neither am I too spiritual, biblical, or religious to deny my physical need. Yes, sex is a need and I will most certainly not agree with any arguments otherwise. It is also a desire – in which case or on which occasion it might be better to say, it can be postponed. That, for me, is especially true when it is a “very strong sexual desire” or lust.

This I know – a sexless marriage is a dead marriage. I am fortunate to have a sweet and loving marriage and we regularly try new things like DD/LG. Again I am not willing to debate this as I have lived it, observed others who have – both informally and clinically.

Sex is not a sin.

My attempt here is to be clear, not controversial. Being real is my way of operating and at no point will I ever be hypocritical to woo an audience or in this case readership.

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Sex is not a sin. It can be a mistake, especially when driven by lust and:

  • With the wrong person
  • When participated in at an inopportune time
  • Engaged in exchange for financial or other material benefit

Sex outside of marriage – here I go – is not a crime: moral or otherwise. Sex without deep emotional attachment can be fun but can be painful for one or both parties.

Children, teenagers and even emotionally unstable people ought not to engage in sexual acts until they are of age, mentally prepared for the inevitable responsibilities and/or emotionally capable of handling the act not going past what it is – an act.

Love and sex combined form a most ‘splendorous’ expression. Yet, speaking for myself and all those who are too shy to, you can deeply love someone (husband, wife, lifelong partner) but sex between you has lost its zest.

lustThen there is the issue of celibacy – not engaging in sex for religious or health reasons – or by choice, as is the case with me. Nun I am not, but almost a year ago now, I made a vow to myself to practice celibacy for at least one year for several reasons, not least of which was to temper lust and decisions made on that basis, as well as to fully appreciate and embrace the woman who I am and becoming at this stage of my life. Actually, that is the last virtue – temperance. There is an interesting article on the subject of celibacy that might interest you – “When Celibacy Just Happens.” Read it here.

Is this straight talk enough for you on lust and things sexual? Well share your view with me in the comments below. Why not sign up and join our community and talk with me directly, as well as receive Weekday Wisdom© which is a daily motivational email sent Monday to Friday to members only.

Have a great rest of the day!

Claudette P. Esterine

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4 thoughts on “Lust: The Last Sin

  1. Sex is NOT A SIN,

    You are gonna get teh BIble Fanatics at ya gal :p
    Yet Its FACT, HOW HUMAN And other Mammals and Animal Life Begins so how can it be sinful? SO YEEEEYYYY glad you said so too. On that note I would not wish my little ones to indulge as yo stated they arent mentally, physically and emotionally mature to face the results of Unrestrained sexual desires aka LUST! Now that can be a sin yet I lust after stuff that I want for my life. That lust drives me to work hard and achieve them…cant be bad that….or can it!
    Julie Syl Kalungi recently posted…By: Julie Syl & Paul KalungiMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      It’s like anger – if channelled towards achieving your goals, those things that enhance and improve one’s life and happiness, I totally agree with you that lusting/desiring things and working to buy them is all good. 🙂

  2. I love your take on this. You have completely explained my feelings! Lust is a sin to me but not in the sense of outside of wedlock. Instead it is when we allow lust to frame our decisions or take hold of our life. Which is why it perfectly goes with gluttony! Amazing post this series is phenominal!
    Allyson Greene recently posted…Bad Mommy: Teaching All the Wrong LessonsMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you for that compliment Allyson! Yes, anything taken to any extreme is where danger lies and it couldn’t be more true than in the instances of lust and gluttony.

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