Make No Apologies For Who You Are

Passive-Aggressive Behaviour

apologiesHave you ever met someone or been in a situation where you were expected to make apologies for your happiness?

Been there and done that many times in my life. Now, I am at the point where being alone – physically – and have a very small circle of friends really do not bother me at all.

Being oneself is far more important than being who someone else needs you to be. Worse yet, is being in a crowd of people but feeling alone.

About a year ago, when this post was first published, there was a situation in my professional life where a person who did not wish to take responsibility for herself and her behaviour lashed out at me – verbally and physically. In her mind, it was unreasonable of me as the supervisor to expect her to do what every employee, myself included, in any job anywhere in the world is expected to do. In essence, I was to turn a blind eye to noncompliance and non-adherence to company policies. When her actions got to the point of being totally intolerable, words had to be spoken – gently and kindly. She, however, took offence. I became the bitch for upholding policy and following senior management’s instruction.

Make No Apologies

There was a point when it was clear that I was to expected by her to make apologies for being punctual every day, getting my work done and even finding time to help others with theirs. It seems as if my efficiency was not something that ought to make me proud. This kind of attitude I have seen before.

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apologiesWhile working with the federal government of Canada, many of my colleagues felt threatened by those of us with degrees. We were ridiculed and derided, trying to diminish our hopes of rising to higher levels. It was their own low self-esteem that they were trying to mask by this behaviour.  Some of those targetted preferred not to mention that they had an university education. I did no such thing and in the end did not make too many friends among the rank and file.

When you have worked, studied, toiled and even struggled long and hard to reach wherever it is that you have – make no apologies for it!

Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. You are YOU and that’s the beginning and the end, no apologies, no regrets. Unknown

Nothing stops any of us from reaching our goals but oneself. Therefore no one has the authority to demand, request, suggest or coerce apologies from you for setting standards for your life. Your work ethic, relationship boundaries and your standard of living are yours to set. Allow no one to cause you to lower your bar to match their selfish needs. Conversely, expect no one to make apologies for living life on their terms. Should that person, let us say, choose not to respect and adhere to policies of a company that they have accepted employment with, or the expectations that come with say marriage, then state your position but do not settle for mediocrity performance or settle for a relationship that does not serve your highest ‘good’.

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Make no apologies for being the best you and desiring the best for you!

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39 thoughts on “Make No Apologies For Who You Are

  1. This is a great post and something that many need to read. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I think the relative anonymity of the Internet makes it really easy for people to lash out and say (write) things they never would say in person to someone.

    And wow, I just blogged recently on this same topic!

    1. Ms Claudette

      That’s the funny thing with the Internet – not only people feel more brave about being mean, etc to others, it also bring us in contact with those who think along the same lines. 🙂

  3. This is a really great articles. Definitely inspirational and gives us something to thing about. Thanks for sharing.
    Shannon Gurnee recently posted…Toys”R”Us Partners with Save the Children #PlayWithPurposeMy Profile

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome and thank you Shannon! 🙂

  4. Sadly, I felt like this when I was pregnant. I felt like I couldn’t be happy because other people had their own opinions about it I let those feelings get to me.

    1. Ms Claudette

      We all have to learn to mind our own business and let people live their lives. When others get into, or try to get into my business, I kindly show them the door!

  5. It’s so difficult to work with that kind of person and I won’t… definitely make no apologies for it..

    1. Ms Claudette

      I hear you Miss, I hear you. 🙂

  6. thedomesticbuzz

    You make some good points here! I’ve been trying to not apologize as much… I used to say “I’m sorry” for everything.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I know several people like that – who are constantly saying sorry for every breath they take! I am so glad you are over that! 🙂

  7. Yes we all make mistakes and for that, we sincerely need to apologize. In your case, you don’t have to.

    1. Ms Claudette

      If you are not strong inside, the pressure to conform can be great and that is the challenge.

  8. In cases like that you just have to work your best and if they don’t like that you work hard and have an education then that’s their own problem. I agree, never apologize for working hard. If those around can’t appreciate it then it’s time to move on.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I agree with you Amber, I agree on all counts. 🙂

  9. I would much rather have someone yell at me than be passive aggressive. Passive aggressive behaviour really digs at my anxiety.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I could not agree with you more Shaylee. Tell me the truth and let me deal with it than pretend with me.

  10. I think we all make mistakes now and then that we sincerely do need to apologize for, but certainly not in the case of your work situation. It’s amazing to me how much passive/aggressive behavior goes on around us on a daily basis.

    1. Ms Claudette

      People project their issues rather than seek help if they need it to sort them out. They pretend to be “okay” but then their behaviour belie the truth. 🙁

  11. Thanks for sharing this. It’s so inspiring.

  12. swell conditions

    You have to be content with yourself FIRST, and yes – no apologies!

  13. Well you know me, I make no apologies whatsoever for who I am or what I am doing. I know the persons who are offended that you smile too much. One person said I laugh like a child….well they said “pickney”…LOL…and I laughed even harder. I love to laugh and I also love to uphold the policies of any organization I work for so anyone who does not like that can just you know what. I think many times it is just the green eyed monster though…IJS

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, I know you would not be apologizing! 🙂

  14. You’ll always come across situations like this. Stay positive and jusbe yourself.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I know no other way. What about you, Brandi? 🙂

  15. i wish i could say that i didn’t have similar experiences in work but mine were in reverse where i was expected to apologize for trying to outshine my lazy supervisor who wasn’t doing their job while i put in 110%. i no longer make apologizes for trying to work hard and do my best

    1. Ms Claudette

      Please don’t! Just be the best you and allow others to be whoever they want to be Michelle. 🙂

  16. There’s nothing worse than a toxic boss or co-worker. Passive aggressive behavior is the worst, IMO. Just stay level with it all, their problem, not yours.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right, Carol, that it is one of the worst kinds of behaviour and that it is their problem. Thanks for that and your visit. 🙂

  17. Elizabeth O.

    What a toxic person to work with! There really are people like that and it’s not so easy to avoid bumping into one. I think I have experienced enough to not care about these people anymore. I will not be sorry for wanting to improve my life and my standards.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Precisely Elizabeth! When you get to a certain point, which is different for everyone, you just have to decide to be you, no matter what! 🙂

  18. Amen this really resonates with me because I have received this treatment many times and you just have to stick to your guns and stay true to yourself no matter what.

    1. Ms Claudette

      No matter what is the key! Just be you all the time. Thanks for the comment Ana! 🙂

  19. dltolley

    My friend used to say, “I will cajole and bend. Until I see footprints on my face. Then watch out!” Sometimes people simply WON’T be happy with what you say or do. And that’s just their loss! 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      Just their loss indeed, Diane! 🙂

  20. Laurie

    Working with that kind of person can be extremely difficult especially when they’re also suckups

  21. Robin Rue (masshole Mommy)

    I am who I am and I definitely make no apologies for it. Take me or leave me.

  22. Great article inspiring. I can’ say I am guilty of being passive aggressive at some point in my life because I have. Now that I know the difference I am able to see this in others and deal with it accordingly. Thanks for sharing.

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