Happy? What Is Stopping You?

You Can Be Right Now

happyWoke up around 4:15 a.m. and, as is now a practice of mine, I rolled around in my bed, rubbing my feet back and forth along the Egyptian cotton sheet, hugged a couple of pillows tightly and snuggled under the comforter and said, “I am happy, blessed and grateful for everything and in every way today!”

Yes, it might sound corny, trite and even trivial to some of you reading this but happiness really is your choice. For so many years of my life, in fact more than half of my life, happy is not a word anyone would use to describe me. Smiles would be plastered on my face but they were merely covering deep-rooted pain. So many spiritual teachers, ministers and gurus will tell you that happiness is your birthright and that it is one of the many ‘gifts’ from God or The Universe if you prefer. Yet, until seven or so years ago it seemed to be that I was the ‘bastard’ child, the outside kid that this gift was never handed to or meant for.

You Can’t Fake Happy

Being happy was hard work and often times you are just too lazy to try. Whether you care to admit it I know it is the truth for some. Misery and being miserable feels way more comfortable and there is such a ‘fun’ crowd available, always on tap, to whine, bitch and complain with. Not to mention the tasty beverages, food, drugs and credit cards that you can indulge in to get a boost. Nothing like a drink, a binge, a hit or a shopping spree that you cannot afford to give you a good, albeit temporary dose of fake happy. When it is over, your best pal, misery, returns and you feel right at home.

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When the healing of my most devastating heartbreak took hold and the thought of being single for the first time in my adult and conscious life was no longer scary but exciting that was when I had my first taste of happy. Although I lost touch of it that was temporary. The thing with being happy is that once you know it, you will no longer or at least not for too long settle for less than it. That is what happened in my case during my last marriage. The moment I openly acknowledged as a beer can whizzed past my head that I made a mistake and had lied to my true self, I knew I had to get my happy back and never let it go again.

At the end of another short-lived relationship almost three years ago, my return to the centre of my happiness is complete and from it I swear I will never wander again. The sense of peace, contentment and certainty even in the most uncertain and disconcerting time is so profound and deep that why would anyone wish to be anything other than happy?

Get To Your Happy

So today, I invite you to seek out your own brand of happy – the kind that will be with you through the rough times, the sweet moments and the in between. It cannot be found, bought or stored. No one but you can give or even lead you to this happy. I know that sucks, especially for those of you looking for it in your marriages, relationship with your so-called ‘better half’, through your jobs or even in your volunteer activities.

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happyThe happy to which I refer can only be found from that sweet spot within you – your heart. For those of you who prefer to hear this in scriptural terms, happiness flows from your heart so guard it as “from it flows the issues of your life.”

Have a beautifully, happy day – no matter where you are, the circumstances surrounding you or the job that you are doing. Decide that this is the day that you will let happiness in to your inner chamber. Clean out the space and make room for it.

Should you wish support, please join our community and receive daily motivation through my Weekday WisdomΒ© as well as my monthly FREE newsletter that includes an affirmation poster. We love to have new friends along the journey.


Claudette P. Esterine


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45 thoughts on “Happy? What Is Stopping You?

  1. I think you alway make your own happiness its always a work in progress but it’s diferent for everybody

    1. Ms Claudette

      It indeed is Ana, on all counts! Thanks for sharing that perspective and for the visit. πŸ™‚

  2. You cannot fake happy…if you are faking then it is something other than happy. It is a choice and once it is there it will show from head to toe and specifically in your eyes. Sometimes a happy person can have dark days so we cannot forget that. You have to get to that point of acceptance and surrender as you say in the section about being single for the first time Claudette. See what happens once you made peace with that? you found your happy. We cannot allow all kinds of external factors to kidnap our happy. When those around us realize that their antics are neither here nor there to us then they keep it moving.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am a big believer in the “fake it until you make it,” theory but you are right, happiness is one this you just cannot fake! Thanks for that nice comment Mardene! πŸ™‚

      1. Yes some things you can fake till you make it but not this one. Anyone with sense will see right through this one…LOL…the eyes never lie

        1. Ms Claudette

          My eyes are so expressive, sometimes I have to cover them! πŸ™‚

          1. LOL…my eyes and my face give away everything (especially when people talking nonsense)….LOL

          2. Ms Claudette

            Oh dear me! LOL! πŸ™‚

  3. You make your own happy – someone else cannot do it for you. So until you learn that true happiness will not be found

    1. Ms Claudette

      Fully agree with you, Patty! πŸ™‚

  4. Happy can’t be faked. You may have a smile, but it will show on your eyes.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are absolutely right!

  5. dltolley

    For years, I told myself “I’ll be happy when . . .” Then I realized I have to be happy now. In this moment. Happiness is a state of mind. Not the goal at the end of ‘whatever’. Love this post, Claudette! Finding happiness in the journey. And in today. That’s me. Now.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Hey Diane, look right! Hi! That’s me beside you along the happiness road! πŸ™‚

  6. Great and possitive post! It’s not that easy to find true happiness but its a journey worth wander

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed it is Amy, indeed it is! πŸ™‚

  7. You Cant Fake Happy…Cant you? Most human Beings to to a great extent Claudette. They go about smiling yet has deep rooted pain as you so obviously did…BUT the day everything comes to the head, you then Cant fake it so yes you are right!

    I like to think I am a happy woman, a happy mother, wife friend…we can be happy in one part of our lives and not too much the other..do you agree? So the question is why arent we happy? Because we over think things and totaly dont understand our power…that we are fearfuly and wonderfully made to rule and reign. I kinda feel you about thinking you were the outside forgotten kid…Many do feel like that! Its about Something that happens in lifeoften times so young we dont even relate to it…that makes us think we arent worthy of joy and happyness so we go thru life faking it believing we are happy when deep down we arent..and it manifests in our finances, relationships, work…coz happiness is what attracts satisfaction in those areas too!

    Julie Syl Kalungi~

    1. Ms Claudette

      That in and of itself is a blog post Julie! πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for sharing – you make some wonderful points! Namaste πŸ™‚

  8. Yeah! I completely agree with you! I always do things that’s make me happy.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Good on you Lexie! πŸ™‚

  9. There does always seem to be a group of negative people full of problems and complaints readily available, doesn’t there? I tend to steer clear of that drowning negativity and choose to focus on the positive people in my life. I am usually a happy soul and try to enjoy it…we only go around in this capacity once. Might as well make the most of it! πŸ™‚

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that Jessica! I remember towards the tail end of my longest relationship, feeling as if I was being sucked into a dark tunnel of negativity. Although I was distraught at the end of it when the realisation hit me how dark it was, I felt so free and truly started to stay away from negativity. πŸ™‚

  10. As someone who has suffered with depression for much of my adult life, I’ve realised that happiness can be much more difficult to find at ties – but when you do fin it, it is often in the smallest of things.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right. To find and remain happy is work, deliberate and intentional on one’s part and some days you just don’t feel like you can take even one step towards it! It’s the small things, if you can see and focus on them that opens a window. Thanks for sharing Rachel. πŸ™‚

  11. Your completely right sometimes I overspend to make myself feel happier but is isn’t real it just makes me feel guilty that I don’t have more restrained. I can be unhappy but noone will know it because I appear so confident and tough but that is not who I am. I am vulnerable and many don’t see that side of me.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I was very much like you Ana and it took getting to my rock bottom, way down, for me to finally getting the support, help and love that was necessary to crawl back to me. I wish the same for you. Namaste.

  12. I want to be happy all the time, but sometimes that isn’t possible. Life can be trying and hard. I will just keep trying and keep finding the small things that make me happy.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You have to do just that Diana, find the small things in every moment. Happiness then becomes a habit – even in the challenging times. It doesn’t mean you will be always clicking your heels but deep inside you will have a sense of peace that everything is going to be alright. Thanks for dropping by! πŸ™‚

  13. Elizabeth O.

    I think people often confuse happy with content. But this is a good reminder that we should not let anything get in the way of being happy. We should seek it out and keep it flowing especially when you’re facing a tough obstacle.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am both happy and content. I think they go hand in hand. πŸ™‚

  14. Unless you are clinically depressed, you do get to choose. On the other hand, some people have real depression & it’s not so straightfwd.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Correct Carol, so correct. πŸ™‚

  15. I think you have to be at peace with yourself, then try to put right all the things which are bothering you. If you believe in God, then make peace with Him. The rest will then come flow in to your life as long as you are striving for peace each day, week and year. Surrounding yourself with your family/loved ones, who care about you the most. That is my plan for peace.


    1. Ms Claudette

      I love your plan John! Thanks for the visit. πŸ™‚

  16. Sometimes it is hard to recognise what it is that makes an individual happy but it is important to keep looking for those happy moments as they sustain us during the difficult times

    1. Ms Claudette

      They indeed do Teresa! Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  17. I can really relate to what you went through. You get up everyday with a smile on your face and you feel so unhappy inside among other things. I’m learning that I have to create my happiness and joy. It’s a work in progress. #Babysteps

    1. Ms Claudette

      Baby steps indeed Jen! Thanks for visiting! πŸ™‚

  18. I wake up thanking God for another day. I the see the sunshine and smile.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes! Love that Tara. πŸ™‚

  19. Happiness does not means everything is perfect. Being happy with what we have and love I think is the core of happiness. As you mentioned above it flows from our heart!

    1. Ms Claudette

      The “best” type of happiness is the one that you experience when everything IS NOT perfect! πŸ™‚

  20. Robin Rue (masshole Mommy)

    I think sometimes finding your way to happiness is easier said than done. Well for some people…..

    1. Ms Claudette

      No, you are right. It was that way for me for more than 40 years! πŸ™‚

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