My Daughter’s Journey With Prematurity

A Mother’s Intuition

daughterTemporarily staying at their place, I left my daughter for work that late June morning. She was not feeling on top form. She was almost 35 weeks pregnant and the pain in her legs and lower back refused to go away.

In fact, only a couple of weeks or less earlier, I had noticed that her neck had darkened, looking a sickly black-blue. It reminded me of when I was pregnant with my first child 28 years ago and a similar colouring overtook my neck. I mentioned the darkening but I did not mention my anxiety.

Less than three months before, I was in Jamaica with every intention of staying there. My daughter and my relationship was again on rocky ground. Mornings are my time of the day. That is when my mind is at peak performance and my listening heart at its most keen. Source always beckons or rouse me out of my sleep around 3:30 a.m. when It needs me to pay attention to something important for me to do or understand.  As I turned in the queen-sized bed in my mentor’s guest room in Kingston, Jamaica, an image flashed across my mind.

It was my daughter and she was pregnant.

Not able to go back to sleep, I messaged a mutual friend to ask whether she knew if Abigail was pregnant. Her almost immediate response to me was, “How did you know?”

daughter
First picture of my granddaughter

A couple or so weeks later my daughter sent me an image via Facebook messenger. It was an ultrasound picture of my granddaughter.  In that moment, I knew I would be returning to Canada. There was no question. It was just a matter of when and for how long but the early news from Source was my cue to come back to Edmonton.

My Daughter’s Journey Began

On June 30, 2014 as I said goodbye and told my daughter to call me if she felt worse, Source again whispered to me. I was not sure what was being said but felt a need to be ready to move quickly. So when my daughter called at 4:00 p.m. to say that she still was not feeling good even after doing what I told her at lunchtime, I knew we had to get to the hospital.

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The child’s father was out of town on business and, as I did not want her to drive herself to the hospital where I would meet her, I left work early and picked her up. As we sat in the triage area, a knowing came over me. Her neck had darkened more and the pain in her legs and back was now as debilitating as it was back in 2003 when she was diagnosed with sickle-cell anemia.

Hours later, a young doctor came in and checked the chart, the baby’s heart rate and in ten minutes was about to discharge my daughter with a prescription for painkillers.

Know Your Medical History

daughterMy daughter has big eyes – and they are as communicative as mine. She turned them on me and I could see the fear and question, “What do you think, Mommy?” She did not have to ask twice. I was piercing into that intern with my own gaze, slashing him with caustic words, dismissing his diagnosis as the same misdiagnosis that was done over a decade ago. “That is unacceptable,” I said, detailing:

  • my daughter’s journey with sickle-cell anemia
  • my journey as the carrier of the trait and one whose iron level has been officially diagnosed as abnormal
  • the similarities in her physical presentation as mine when I lost my first child, and
  • the fact that the well-known Edmonton-based obstetrician had not properly managed my daughter’s pre-natal care (in my “expert” opinion) – no folic acid, no iron supplements, no monitoring of her sickle cells, no amniocentesis and absolutely no testing to see whether the baby was thriving in the tummy of a woman whose pre-existing condition made her extremely high risk.

The poor intern ran out and called a top-level obstetrician-surgeon. That was around 11:00 p.m., five hours or more since we were at the hospital. By midnight, the decision was made to deliver the baby by C-section.

Emergency Arrival

Mahalia was born at 1:39 a.m. on July 1, 2014 – Canada Day – weighing 4 lbs 1 ounce.

Her parents were worried but I was not overly. There was a team of prayer warriors ministering to her – my Sisters of my private Facebook group, Daughters Of Sheba, her grandfather and his family in Jamaica, my then 2,000+ followers on Twitter and friends of my daughter all over Edmonton and the world.

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Through this journey, I realised why my first child died. My mother had also lost a child – who knows whether the medical issues were exactly the same. Mahalia broke a cycle of child-death in our family.

World Prematurity Day 2015

It is World Prematurity Day and it holds special meaning for us. This post is revised and was previously published on my former blog. Last year, my daughter proudly and gratefully attend the Royal Alexander and the Grey Nun’s Hospitals to pay respect to the teams that worked tirelessly to prevent the grief and devastation that would have overtaken her had things gone differently on June 30. She will pay her respect again today as I am through re-posting this piece.

World Prematurity Day
Mahalia Today

“Each year, 15 million babies – 1 in 10 – are born prematurely…that means more than 41,000 premature babies will be born today.” This according to the Huffington Post that published a most enlightening article in honour of those born prematurely, parenting and helping to save and sustain the lives or these little ones. Read more here and if you or anyone you know have a child that made its entrance into our world prematurely, feel free to share your story with me.

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Namaste

 

 

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43 thoughts on “My Daughter’s Journey With Prematurity

  1. CourtneyLynne

    Awwww… It’s crazy! I had no idea I had tons of friends that had premie babies until
    It was prermie day the other day!!! Glad all the little ones are dong fabulous now!

    1. Ms Claudette

      The advances in science and medicine have saved the lives of many of these children who in times gone by would not have made it. 🙂

  2. What a wonderful gift of intuition. You are a blessing!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, it is indeed a gift that I cherish. Thank you very much! 🙂

  3. […] child would come into this world and hopefully make a difference. If you missed that post you can read it here and share your thoughts on the hidden theme of healing family ties and how some medical […]

  4. Intuition is strong and we need to follow it more than we do. Happy you were there to help be an advocate

  5. I’m so glad you were there to be her advocate. Doctors just don’t understand sometimes, and sometimes it’s the people that know the patient who can get things done.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Years ago, I toyed with the idea of becoming a patients’ advocate. Clearly I did not but I still practice wherever I can 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

  6. Oh, the power of intuition. It’s good that you were able to recognize the symptoms. I am so glad that your daughter finally broke the cycle.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you very much! 🙂

  7. It’s amazing how you recognized the symptoms and just knew things before they were confirmed.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Intuition is a strong thing. 🙂 Thanks Liz for stopping by! 🙂

  8. Premature births are such an important health issue that go un-discussed too often. Thank you for taking time to post about prematurity on World Prematuirty Day!

  9. I am so glad she broke the cycle in your family, and I am so glad she had you there for support!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you very much and thank you for stopping by!

    2. Ms Claudette

      Thank you very much Shannon! 🙂

    3. Ms Claudette

      You are welcome! What I don’t understand is why are we not talking about it more?

  10. victoria

    This is amazing story. Many baby was born in prematurity but it was so scared to come baby early.

    1. Ms Claudette

      My granddaughter is amazing as well as the doctors and nurses supporting these babies and their families. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  11. wow i didn’t realize so many babies were born premature

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, neither did I until we were in the middle of the experience. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  12. Elizabeth O.

    There’s really nothing better than a mother’s intuition. I’m glad your daughter is just fine and that everything turned out well for the both of you.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you Elizabeth. Thank you very much. 🙂

  13. That is an amazing story. I takes a strong woman to listen to her gut!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you very much! 🙂

  14. Thanks for sharing your story!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome and thank you for stopping by! 🙂

  15. Your daughter and you are both strong women it runs in the family it seems. Is the baby okay now, I presume so but I am sorry to hear everything that she had been through.

    1. Ms Claudette

      She is absolutely wonderful Ana! Thank you so much for asking. She is now 16 months old, walking, dancing and the kissing us all like crazy! Blessings to you Ana. 🙂

  16. I love your story, the love between you and your daughter and the glance from your daughter in how you still protectant and loving went into action. I have been there with my daughter when she gave birth I watched her and made sure all was wrong. I think that protectant bond goes through life

    1. Ms Claudette

      It absolutely does! Even just now I was on the phone with her and she has a fever. My instinct is to drop everything and go look after her! Once a true Mom, always a Mom. Thanks for sharing yourjourney with your daughter as well. Namaste. 🙂

  17. lbosworth

    I’m so glad your grandchild, Mahalia, survived and broke the cycle in your family.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you! And she is such a wonderful gift to us all. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  18. Thank you for sharing this story. Glad everything turned out well.

    1. Ms Claudette

      My pleasure and yes, all is well with us. Nmaaste 🙂

  19. Rosey

    It’s scary when the babies come early. My niece was born prematurely and it was so hard to watch her so tiny and helpless. Thankfully it was a happy ending. 😉

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thankfully! And thanks for sharing that good news with us Reosey! 🙂

  20. dltolley

    My second was five weeks early. Scary! I remember him in his incubator and again under the lights, his tiny body looking like a day on the beach. By the time he was three weeks old, he had put on 3 pounds. He now stand 6’8″ tall. Scary start, but he never looked back . . .

    1. Ms Claudette

      Modern medicine and the availability and access to it is key to the survival of premature babies! I and I am sure you as well Diane, will always be grateful to the medical teams who helped us! 🙂

  21. Mothers intuition is usually always right. Glad you listened to yours.

    1. Ms Claudette

      So am I! 🙂

  22. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    What a story. It makes me thankful my boys were full term and healthy,

    1. Ms Claudette

      You just have to be when they are. 🙂

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