Letting Go: Easier Said Than Done

Frozen Trying To Let It Go?

My granddaughter, who I lovingly named Kitten while she was still in her mother’s womb, has become famous at her daycare for her love of dance. The child most certainly has rhythm and she will move in time with any beat. From Beethoven to hip hop, this now 15-month old will sway, bop and shake her legs once the music starts to play.

She started daycare about four months now and she has earned a new nickname – The Dancer – from the caregivers. Most evenings when they go to pick her up, her mother or father has to wait for her to complete a routine. Her love of music and dance became clear to the staff one day when the entire daycare gathered around the television to watch Frozen. Her mother called me in shock one afternoon to say that Kitten is humming and swaying, trying to say the words, “Let it go,” when the video starts playing.

Letting Go – A Lesson Long To Learn

Her love for this song is particularly relevant to me today as we approach Thanksgiving Day here in Canada. We mark the special occasion this year on Monday, October 12 and as we gather as a family in gratitude for each other, I will also be celebrating my hard-earned degree in letting go.

Recently, I was invited to be part of a radio show, discussing the topic of “The Gift of Goodbye,” something that my friends have often heard me say that Life gave me after a very traumatic experience some nine years ago. You can listen to that radio interview here or you can also watch my Blab conversation with Beverly Sukie-Martin, co-host of the Talk It Up Radio Show, as we continued this very informative discussion. [tweetthis]Need to let go of something? This blog post can help! Check it out![/tweetthis]

Would that letting go was as easy as my granddaughter learned the song from Frozen! Now, after almost four months at the daycare and her pronunciation skills rapidly increasing, she is more clearly singing the words, “Let it go, let it go… .” I smile each time her Mother either sends me a video, connect us through Tango or when I actually am with her and she chimes away, swaying along with her hands in the air to this catchy song. Watch her go at it in this home-made video:

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Memories, Like The Corners Of Our Minds

Facebook has a feature called “Memories,” where every day you receive a notification with all your posts since you joined specific to the day. On October 5 , I started receiving memories of daily notes that I posted back in 2009. These were notes written at a time in my life when I was making my last letting go journey along what had in fact broken a frozen area of my life.

In 2006, things spiraled down with the abrupt but long-coming end of a 16-year relationship. Although it was dying and extraordinary measures were taken for over six years, including migration, to resuscitate it, the way the relationship ended was devastating. So much so that I made two attempts on my life – obviously and thankfully unsuccessful ones.

letting go
Grieve then accept…

It would take months for me to consciously step into the fifth stage of the healing/grieving process. Make no doubt about it, the end of a relationship, especially one with such a long duration, is very much like death. Healing from this very much passes through Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ popularized five stages of grieving. I spoke to this in that radio interview mentioned earlier. With the help of friends, a psychologist, a spiritual counsellor and my will and determination to rise again, I went through every stage of this process as I learned to let go of what was dead and gone.

Once the letting go lesson began, I never looked back and today seven plus years later, I am a graduate. My Facebook notes reminded me, however, that sometimes when you think you have learned the lesson, an unexpected and final test will reappear to check your resolve before moving you to the next leg of the journey. My final exam came that year, October 2009, almost three years exact to the date that the relationship ended and the lesson in letting go was launched.

Letting Go Short Story Series

These notes had me thinking how best to share this very real, very personal and practical lesson in letting go. I want to do so especially for the many of you who I know for a fact are working through some stuff that you need to say goodbye to. What I have come up with is to post them as they were originally – as a short story series, culminating on Thanksgiving Day (Canada’s). I will edit the posts somewhat.

letting go
Short Story Series: Letting Go

To contextualize them before posting the first one this Saturday, October 10, let me state that at least one of the “teachers” in the story is no longer in the picture. My now ex husband, who played a huge role in helping me with this lesson of letting go, and I have said goodbye. One of my favourite quotes, actually one that perfectly summarizes this whole letting go lesson, is this:

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“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.”

Robert came into my life after the near-fatal for me end of a previous relationship. He was a husband for a REASON. As the quote/poem continued, he came “to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.”

He acted up and the marriage ended but my gratitude does not.

And so, if you are interested to read and have a real, practical guide on how to do this letting go thing, do Subscribe and you will receive a daily email update of all our posts. Since a week or so ago, we are now only posting once per day from Mondays – Saturdays with an affirmation post on a Sunday. So your mailbox will not be full of messages from us but you have to add us to your contact list.

I have been asked many times, and again recently how can you be in contact with me directly should you need to ask for more personal support. You can reach me via our email at: daughtersofsheba@gmail.com. I do try my best to respond within 24 hours of receiving your messages.

Until tomorrow when we publish our Roundup post, do have a great Throwback Thursday. Hold on to the memories but do practice as best you can letting go of the pain, suffering and angst. You can read Part 1, Part 2 and the Final Installment of the Letting Go short story series now.

Much Love.

Claudette
Claudette

 

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42 thoughts on “Letting Go: Easier Said Than Done

  1. […] is this one. Again this week, all three top posts were written by me and two were installments of a three-part series I did on letting go. The third was more of a “how to” and discussed one of the […]

  2. […] is the final installment in a 3-part short story series on Letting Go. You can read the introduction, Part 1 and Part 2 to catch up and understand the steps between the lines of how you too can get […]

  3. It is the hardest part to Let It Go especially when it was a so close and precious, I had some hopes may be it was going to change and it did not just keeping me back and taking my time and life.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yup, hanging on has a way of doing that. Why not try one “finger” at a time? What I mean is releasing it in inches, bits and pieces rather than trying to bit off a whole chunk at one time?

  4. Your granddaughter is soo precious. I hope she never looses her sense of love and dance. It will carry her through many hard times in life.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I hope so too! Her parents plan to put her in a dance class as well as a music class for toddlers in a few months! I am very thrilled that they are following what she is signalling already as her interests. Have an awesome weekend. πŸ™‚

  5. Most of the time, it’s easy for me to let go. But there were times, when I really can’t forget, so it was hard to forgive to let go.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I never forget. I let go of the bitterness, hurt, and anything else that would take away my smile but I never forget either.

  6. Yes, yes, yes – letting go and allowing forgiveness in is so hard, but so important for you rather than the person/thing you’re trying to let go of – hard, but true fact. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are in fact correct on that score! πŸ™‚

  7. Being able to let go is very important. You can’t keep holding on to things that meant you no good. I am very proud of you

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you and you are very right about the futility of holding on! Have a great weekend.

  8. I really like how you led into the whole letting go theme with your sweet dancing grandbaby. Letting go is definitely not easy and sometimes take ridiculous amounts of time.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you and yes, we spend so much time hanging on to what we really ought to be letting go. Once we do, we think why did I hold on for so long? Have a blessed weekend.

  9. victoria

    Letting go is really important but sometimes it might be so hard and sometimes it makes us stronger.

    1. Ms Claudette

      In my case it has made me extremely stronger. Thanks for stopping bye! πŸ™‚

  10. Letting go is very hard but important to keep us happy so we can move forward

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed, it does allow you to have more joy in your experiences. Have a great weekend. πŸ™‚

  11. Elizabeth O.

    We all cope with loss differently, especially when it comes to heartache. It’s really difficult to move on if you have invested a lot in a relationship. But I’m glad you’re okay now and life is all better.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you Elizabeth. I am more than okay, I am very well indeed! Namaste πŸ™‚

  12. My son is a mover and shaker when music comes on too πŸ™‚ I love their little dance moves!

    1. Ms Claudette

      They are so adorable when dancing! Steal any show! πŸ™‚

  13. What a little doll! So musically inclined it seems! Her outfit and little giggle made me smile! Thank You!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Awww…thank you! πŸ™‚

  14. danavento

    letting go.. is so important . I believe that it all refreshes

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are very correct. πŸ™‚

  15. She is a cutie! I miss my boys when they were babies.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you so much! )

  16. Yup not as easy as we think. Sometimes when we least expect it we are reminded that we did not really let go at all…..its a journey

    1. Ms Claudette

      That I know is true!

      1. Unless you have walked a mile in someone’s shoe…it is best to not make assumptions I always say

        1. Ms Claudette

          I fully agree with you on that! πŸ™‚

  17. the past is something so many of us hold on to. It is very difficult to let go and move on. Learning let go is most likely the first step to freedom.
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    1. Ms Claudette

      Could not agree with you more! πŸ™‚

  18. There are a lot of things that I have had to learn to let go the past year and a half. When I learned to let these things go, I have felt happier and stronger.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You really do get happier! It might take a while for the pain to pass but when it does, such freedom! πŸ™‚

  19. Such a great lesson on letting go. My son just went off to college so that is where I am letting go. Your granddaughter is beautiful!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you re my granddaughter. Yes, I had that same challenge letting go of my daughter on several occasions until I finally got it. Now, I just watchful eyes and keen listening skills to see and wait for her request for support. I try my best not to interfere and allow her to fly. She has done remarkably well and is grown enough to know when to ask for help. Your son will need that reassurance that he can fly but you will be there, unobtrusively, should he need a net. Much love and blessings. πŸ™‚

  20. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    I don;t let things go. I hold on to them pretty much forever.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I don’t forget but I am very capable of telling you goodbye. πŸ™‚

  21. I love this post! I especially like “Letting go”. This is such a tough one for so many people. thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome! Yes, I decided to share due to the number of messages that I get on the topic. Hope you will like the series. Namaste. πŸ™‚

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