Frozen Trying To Let It Go?
My granddaughter, who I lovingly named Kitten while she was still in her mother’s womb, has become famous at her daycare for her love of dance. The child most certainly has rhythm and she will move in time with any beat. From Beethoven to hip hop, this now 15-month old will sway, bop and shake her legs once the music starts to play.
She started daycare about four months now and she has earned a new nickname – The Dancer – from the caregivers. Most evenings when they go to pick her up, her mother or father has to wait for her to complete a routine. Her love of music and dance became clear to the staff one day when the entire daycare gathered around the television to watch Frozen. Her mother called me in shock one afternoon to say that Kitten is humming and swaying, trying to say the words, “Let it go,” when the video starts playing.
Letting Go – A Lesson Long To Learn
Her love for this song is particularly relevant to me today as we approach Thanksgiving Day here in Canada. We mark the special occasion this year on Monday, October 12 and as we gather as a family in gratitude for each other, I will also be celebrating my hard-earned degree in letting go.
Recently, I was invited to be part of a radio show, discussing the topic of “The Gift of Goodbye,” something that my friends have often heard me say that Life gave me after a very traumatic experience some nine years ago. You can listen to that radio interview here or you can also watch my Blab conversation with Beverly Sukie-Martin, co-host of the Talk It Up Radio Show, as we continued this very informative discussion. [tweetthis]Need to let go of something? This blog post can help! Check it out![/tweetthis]
Would that letting go was as easy as my granddaughter learned the song from Frozen! Now, after almost four months at the daycare and her pronunciation skills rapidly increasing, she is more clearly singing the words, “Let it go, let it go… .” I smile each time her Mother either sends me a video, connect us through Tango or when I actually am with her and she chimes away, swaying along with her hands in the air to this catchy song. Watch her go at it in this home-made video:
Memories, Like The Corners Of Our Minds
Facebook has a feature called “Memories,” where every day you receive a notification with all your posts since you joined specific to the day. On October 5 , I started receiving memories of daily notes that I posted back in 2009. These were notes written at a time in my life when I was making my last letting go journey along what had in fact broken a frozen area of my life.
In 2006, things spiraled down with the abrupt but long-coming end of a 16-year relationship. Although it was dying and extraordinary measures were taken for over six years, including migration, to resuscitate it, the way the relationship ended was devastating. So much so that I made two attempts on my life – obviously and thankfully unsuccessful ones.
It would take months for me to consciously step into the fifth stage of the healing/grieving process. Make no doubt about it, the end of a relationship, especially one with such a long duration, is very much like death. Healing from this very much passes through Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ popularized five stages of grieving. I spoke to this in that radio interview mentioned earlier. With the help of friends, a psychologist, a spiritual counsellor and my will and determination to rise again, I went through every stage of this process as I learned to let go of what was dead and gone.
Once the letting go lesson began, I never looked back and today seven plus years later, I am a graduate. My Facebook notes reminded me, however, that sometimes when you think you have learned the lesson, an unexpected and final test will reappear to check your resolve before moving you to the next leg of the journey. My final exam came that year, October 2009, almost three years exact to the date that the relationship ended and the lesson in letting go was launched.
Letting Go Short Story Series
These notes had me thinking how best to share this very real, very personal and practical lesson in letting go. I want to do so especially for the many of you who I know for a fact are working through some stuff that you need to say goodbye to. What I have come up with is to post them as they were originally – as a short story series, culminating on Thanksgiving Day (Canada’s). I will edit the posts somewhat.
To contextualize them before posting the first one this Saturday, October 10, let me state that at least one of the “teachers” in the story is no longer in the picture. My now ex husband, who played a huge role in helping me with this lesson of letting go, and I have said goodbye. One of my favourite quotes, actually one that perfectly summarizes this whole letting go lesson, is this:
“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.”
Robert came into my life after the near-fatal for me end of a previous relationship. He was a husband for a REASON. As the quote/poem continued, he came “to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.”
He acted up and the marriage ended but my gratitude does not.
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Until tomorrow when we publish our Roundup post, do have a great Throwback Thursday. Hold on to the memories but do practice as best you can letting go of the pain, suffering and angst. You can read Part 1, Part 2 and the Final Installment of the Letting Go short story series now.