Life Can Be Messy
There is a popular quote from which many posters have been made and widely circulated across social media. It sounds catchy and has that 1-2-3 punch line. Yet, it is hard not to wonder how many people really get it?
“You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.”
It has been attributed to every known celebrity, guru and motivational speaker. However, according to several sources the real author is unknown. What else is hardly known is that this quote is about filters through which every event that comes to you is processed.
Tuesday is the day we focus on wellness on this blog and as I have written so many times before, this is an area that covers not just having a fit body, eating right or doing meditations. While I have nothing against any or all of these activities, they mean nothing if your inner wellness, your filters are clogged.
Having filters, clean filters in your life is one of the best things you can do for yourself and for your well-being.
Do You Have Any Life Filters?
Last year December on my former blog home, I wrote a short article on this subject of having filters in our lives. It was part of a series leading up to making intentions for the New Year, this year 2015. As we again approach the closing of another year I thought to revisit this topic of filters. For context, here is a summary of what I wrote then:
Sometimes it takes only one word to launch you into deep reflection. That word was “filters” for me yesterday. My boss, who had returned to work after being away for over a week on personal matters, used it.
I was updating her on the state of affairs in my department and happened to mention the experience of death that I was still working my way through. She was shocked that I had not told her before she left that this was going on in my life.
Her words were that she respected me and my ability to apply filters to my emotions and do what needs to be done for myself and even for the organization. She compared this to the inability of others to make decisions using such filters; instead responding to every emotional cue others throw at them.
Whether my actions were commendable is not the point. What are filters? Are you able to set aside emotions long enough to make a decision for your life and how you will or will not take part in other people’s circuses?
What Are Emotional Filters And 4 Ways To Use Them
Taken straight from Google, filters are “porous devices for removing impurities or solid particles from a liquid or gas passed through it.” Examples of these are sifters or strainers in your kitchen or oil filters in your cars. Filters are also described as passes “( liquid, gas, light, or sound) through a device to remove unwanted material.” They give this example how to use it as a verb in a sentence: “The patient is hooked up to a dialysis machine twice a week to filter out the cholesterol in the blood.”
Whether noun or verb, filters mean that through which things are passed, separated and/or removed causing what is wanted, clear, pure to stay for your use or healing. Emotional filters do exactly the same as these strainers, sifters, devices that Google so aptly defined for us.
As regular readers know and now you, if you are new to this blog, we share only what we either have personal experience with or what have been directly shared with us. When it comes to filters, here are the four emotional filters that have served me well over the years:
Friend Filters: We all want to have friends, people who we can share our every emotion with as they understand us. Some of us need friends to have a sense of belonging and others just want to be popular. Whatever your reason, it is important to have this set of filters when it comes to friendship. It borrows heavily from Reverend T.D. Jakes three types of friends analysis:
- Know who is just with you for a short ride and will leave as soon as a faster one comes along
- Know who is with you for the haul and might leave when a lighter load comes by
- Know who is riding or dying with you, the one who will be waiting in the getaway car on the other side of the wall when you break out of your prison, the ones who will die with your secrets.
Money Filters: Like friends, we all have a need for money – some way more than others. Know how much you need not just to survive but to support your dreams. However, be sure to apply your filters when it comes to:
- What you will do to get or earn that money.
- How much is enough for the moment.
- Wishing others well without envying them for what their money have bought – you might not want to do what they did for their piece of the pie.
Family Filters: Just yesterday in the final installment of my letting go series, the point was made that in my books “blood is not thicker than water.” That means, as a dear cousin of mine once said to me – blood makes us relatives but love makes us family. These family filters will help you sift:
- Those who are relatives.
- Those who are family, having your back even when it is dirty.
- Those who you will give a kidney, spleen and anything else for not only because they would do the same for you but you could not dream of life without them here on Earth.
Relationship Filters: This has been the most challenging for me to learn but I am almost there. Wonder if you are? These are the filters that:
- Guide you to self-love before all other loves.
- Sift out players, time-wasters and potential ghosts from your life.
- Allows you to enjoy your own company so much that anyone entering your space must be someone who enjoys their own just as much as you do yours. Only then can you integrate and become a couple and not dysfunctional sycophants.
Once you have these filters fully installed, fully functioning you will better create other ones to serve the other areas of your life. You will be well on your path to your greatest level of wellness. Fitness programmes, healthy diets and your mental acumen will be firing on all cylinders as your engine will be at its best spiritual blast. [tweetthis]Here are 4 simple life hacks for you that will sort your life using emotional filters. Check them out![/tweetthis]
Do you agree? Have some other filters to add or would like to elaborate on any that I have shared? Please, do so in the comments below as well as share with your friends across social media and let us start a conversation on this. As well, do consider subscribing and be a part of this community. You will receive one daily email updating you of our post as well as my monthly newsletter and affirmation poster.
Have a beautiful Tuesday and as always, I love you and truly appreciate that this blog passed the test of your filters and remain on your table.