Emotional Filters: 4 Simple Life Hacks

Life Can Be Messy

There is a popular quote from which many posters have been made and widely circulated across social media. It sounds catchy and has that 1-2-3 punch line. Yet, it is hard not to wonder how many people really get it?

“You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.”

It has been attributed to every known celebrity, guru and motivational speaker. However, according to several sources the real author is unknown. What else is hardly known is that this quote is about filters through which every event that comes to you is processed.

Tuesday is the day we focus on wellness on this blog and as I have written so many times before, this is an area that covers not just having a fit body, eating right or doing meditations. While I have nothing against any or all of these activities, they mean nothing if your inner wellness, your filters are clogged.

Having filters, clean filters in your life is one of the best things you can do for yourself and for your well-being.

Do You Have Any Life Filters?

2016 Ahead…

Last year December on my former blog home, I wrote a short article on this subject of having filters in our lives. It was part of a series leading up to making intentions for the New Year, this year 2015. As we again approach the closing of another year I thought to revisit this topic of filters. For context, here is a summary of what I wrote then:

Sometimes it takes only one word to launch you into deep reflection. That word was “filters” for me yesterday. My boss, who had returned to work after being away for over a week on personal matters, used it.

I was updating her on the state of affairs in my department and happened to mention the experience of death that I was still working my way through. She was shocked that I had not told her before she left that this was going on in my life.

Her words were that she respected me and my ability to apply filters to my emotions and do what needs to be done for myself and even for the organization. She compared this to the inability of others to make decisions using such filters; instead responding to every emotional cue others throw at them.

Whether my actions were commendable is not the point. What are filters? Are you able to set aside emotions long enough to make a decision for your life and how you will or will not take part in other people’s circuses?

What Are Emotional Filters And 4 Ways To Use Them

Taken straight from Google, filters are “porous devices for removing impurities or solid particles from a liquid or gas passed through it.” Examples of these are sifters or strainers in your kitchen or oil filters in your cars. Filters are also described as passes “( liquid, gas, light, or sound) through a device to remove unwanted material.” They give this example how to use it as a verb in a sentence: “The patient is hooked up to a dialysis machine twice a week to filter out the cholesterol in the blood.”

There are many types of filters

Whether noun or verb, filters mean that through which things are passed, separated and/or removed causing what is wanted, clear, pure to stay for your use or healing. Emotional filters do exactly the same as these strainers, sifters, devices that Google so aptly defined for us.

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As regular readers know and now you, if you are new to this blog, we share only what we either have personal experience with or what have been directly shared with us. When it comes to filters, here are the four emotional filters that have served me well over the years:

Friend Filters: We all want to have friends, people who we can share our every emotion with as they understand us. Some of us need friends to have a sense of belonging and others just want to be popular. Whatever your reason, it is important to have this set of filters when it comes to friendship. It borrows heavily from Reverend T.D. Jakes three types of friends analysis:

  • Know who is just with you for a short ride and will leave as soon as a faster one comes along
  • Know who is with you for the haul and might leave when a lighter load comes by
  • Know who is riding or dying with you, the one who will be waiting in the getaway car on the other side of the wall when you break out of your prison, the ones who will die with your secrets.
money filters
How much is enough?

Money Filters: Like friends, we all have a need for money – some way more than others. Know how much you need not just to survive but to support your dreams. However, be sure to apply your filters when it comes to:

  • What you will do to get or earn that money.
  • How much is enough for the moment.
  • Wishing others well without envying them for what their money have bought – you might not want to do what they did for their piece of the pie.
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Family Filters: Just yesterday in the final installment of my letting go series, the point was made that in my books “blood is not thicker than water.” That means, as a dear cousin of mine once said to me – blood makes us relatives but love makes us family. These family filters will help you sift:

  • Those who are relatives.
  • Those who are family, having your back even when it is dirty.
  • Those who you will give a kidney, spleen and anything else for not only because they would do the same for you but you could not dream of life without them here on Earth.

Relationship Filters: This has been the most challenging for me to learn but I am almost there. Wonder if you are? These are the filters that:

  • Guide you to self-love before all other loves.
  • Sift out players, time-wasters and potential ghosts from your life.
  • Allows you to enjoy your own company so much that anyone entering your space must be someone who enjoys their own just as much as you do yours. Only then can you integrate and become a couple and not dysfunctional sycophants.
Filters attract the best…

Once you have these filters fully installed, fully functioning you will better create other ones to serve the other areas of your life. You will be well on your path to your greatest level of wellness. Fitness programmes, healthy diets and your mental acumen will be firing on all cylinders as your engine will be at its best spiritual blast. [tweetthis]Here are 4 simple life hacks for you that will sort your life using emotional filters. Check them out![/tweetthis]

Do you agree? Have some other filters to add or would like to elaborate on any that I have shared? Please, do so in the comments below as well as share with your friends across social media and let us start a conversation on this. As well, do consider subscribing and be a part of this community. You will receive one daily email updating you of our post as well as my monthly newsletter and affirmation poster.

Have a beautiful Tuesday and as always, I love you and truly appreciate that this blog passed the test of your filters and remain on your table.


Claudette P. Esterine


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49 thoughts on “Emotional Filters: 4 Simple Life Hacks

  1. michelle

    i can really relate to filters. when I was younger I didn’t know how much I would need them later. I really enjoyed reading this

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am glad you enjoyed and thank you for dropping by! πŸ™‚

  2. I love the idea of filters to sift between the good and the bad great post glad that I found this and can apply it to my life.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am happy you found it useful! πŸ™‚

  3. […] prevents many from inviting change into their lives. To exorcise the demons of our lives, we must install the emotional filters that I wrote about in another post. If you are to enjoy the freedom of an examined life and if you […]

  4. […] prevents many from inviting change into their lives. To exorcise the demons of our lives, we must install the emotional filters that I wrote about in another post. If you are to enjoy the freedom of an examined life and if you […]

  5. This is such an insightful post! It’s so important to have filters in our relationships, with family, with friends, and with money. I’m sharing this to EagleSoaringHigher’s Facebook page. Keep up the great work!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you so much Jonathan! πŸ™‚

  6. kleebanks

    Thanks for sharing this insightful post. I agree that it’s necessary to have filters in all areas of our lives, to filter out the “impurities.”

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome! Why did I not think of that word – impurities – fits perfectly! πŸ™‚

  7. Great way to break up and describe filters. I definitely put these into use. Thank you!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you for reading! πŸ™‚

  8. Filters are absolutely important in just about every walk of life even at church…..without that some of us may never sleep or be left penniless because I realize that many people are without conscience. SO the filters are there to protect us

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen! Pun intended πŸ™‚

  9. Filters seem like a good thing to have! I love the way you explained it.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you Karlyn! I am glad that it was clear enough for everyone! πŸ™‚

  10. Elizabeth O.

    Life will be such a mess without filters. Just imagine the chaos! Lol. I would always think things through before I dive in, that’s how I normally filter emotions, issues, relationships and everything else.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I cannot imagine the chaos – well not anymore as I used to be fully into the drama! Thanks for sharing your perspective! πŸ™‚

  11. Great article. I use filters in my life to avoid trouble and bad people

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thanks! We each have to use them as needed and according to the specifics of our situations. πŸ™‚

  12. We all need to have filters to help us rid ourselves of negativity.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, we do otherwise we would drown in the negativity! Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  13. Filter created to keep us safe great blog post thanks for sharing.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you for visiting. πŸ™‚

  14. This is great! I tend to think about filters in term of socially and what to say/not say. You are so right that we should have filters in place in all areas of our life.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Sometimes we think that a concept applies to only one area of our lives – and sometimes that is the case but this filter concept has many applications. Thanks for visiting. πŸ™‚

  15. If we don’t put filters in place, we’ll be in big, big trouble. Great pointers here.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you Liz and and yes, filters are our “guards.” πŸ™‚

  16. Great post. I love the transparency in your writing and how it causes me to hold up a mirror and ask myself the tough questions. Thank you.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Now, that is an awesome compliment! Thank you very much! πŸ™‚

  17. victoria

    Great article. I love the way you describe and putting things. I think i need a filter

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you very much. I honestly believe that we all need at least one huge filter. πŸ™‚

  18. I have a hard time not trusting everyone until they give me a reason to not trust them. I need to be less trustful of everyone since it has bitten me in the butt.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Or at least filter them in “categories” of 100% trustworthy, not so, and not at all – or as many categories as you need and interact accordingly. πŸ™‚

  19. Thanks for sharing. Filters are sometimes good. I’ve recently started applying it in certain areas in my life.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Glad that you are testing them out where it works best for you! Thanks for visiting. πŸ™‚

  20. Great article!!! Love the way you have described Family filters, love ties the family together. .

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you and I am glad that it resonated with you even in one regard. πŸ™‚

  21. I have gotten to that point with my ex husband. I don’t have to argue with him when he tries to pick fights with me and it is so freeing.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Jennifer, I can just imagine how free you feel in that regard! Drama is a major residue in my filtration system. πŸ™‚

  22. This is such a wonderful post. I’ve never taken the time to think about having “filters” in my life. I definitely need to work on the one your boss mentioned though as I’m bad a separating my emotions from everyday life and it often shows up as anxiety.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I so hear you on that! It took so long for me to get it – when the time was right! πŸ™‚ Thanks for you visit. πŸ™‚

  23. danavento

    I love your way of putting things, I need a filter with a strainer:)

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you! We all need one of those at some point in time or another! What size? πŸ™‚

  24. I never thought of filters before in my relationships. Thanks for explaining.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Oh, you are most welcome! Thanks for visiting. πŸ™‚

  25. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    No filters here. If I don’t like something, I don’t let it into my space.

    1. Ms Claudette

      i beg then to disagree as it would seem that you have very strong filters – you don’t let anything that would muddy your water in. πŸ™‚

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