Why You Should Embrace Being Alone

Lonely or Alone?

Alone versus lonely, a difference that many people never understand as they are so busy crowding and keeping in their lives people who can never give them what they truly seek – themselves.

It is a long weekend here in Canada – Labour Day Weekend – and since 5:00 a.m., I have basked in my alone-ness. Although my quietude has been unceremoniously disrupted, as been happening more frequently recently despite my expressed dissatisfaction with the noise level, my heart still sings with joy being alone.

There was a time when my life was filled with people, stuff and busy-ness, all in hopes of finding happiness. Until the day came when all the people and stuff that I had gathered were stripped from me – again unceremoniously.  My walk from lonely to alone began and I have not looked back – not for too long – ever since.

One Day You Will Get It

You too will come upon this road at some point – or maybe you already have. You will grow to appreciate the difference between feeling lonely and being alone. If you are already like me and are savouring the journey, here are some pictures and words that will remind you why choosing this path might be the best thing you could do for yourself.

Claudette P. Esterine blog
We are all alone, die alone, live alone…

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”  ― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

 

“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.” ― Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Some fight and struggle so hard against being alone. A few months ago, I overheard a coworker saying that she hates being alone, not even for a couple of hours. Although she is in a live-in relationship, arriving home before her mate and entering the empty house frightens her not because a burglar might be inside but no one else but her is home. It was a challenge for me to understand that, craving solitude as much as I do.

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Need To Be Alone

Claudette P Esterine blog
Sitting here, I see…Me.

“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” (Audrey Hepburn: Many-Sided Charmer, LIFE Magazine, December 7, 1953)

Days can go by and except for my morning telephone conversations or video chats with my daughter and granddaughter, I would be so content not speaking with another living being. This comes only after a long journey through noise, drama and a sense of not belonging.

The trouble is not really in being alone, it’s being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don’t you think? ― Christine Feehan, Dark Prince

Many young women today, and I know at least two personally, who would rather be in dead-end situations, abusive relationships and/or jobs. They are hanging on to people who rob them of their spirits leaving them among the walking underemployed and friendships that are devoid of substance than let go and live. Observing from the sidelines, never offering my opinion unless asked, my heart bleeds. Tempted at times to just hold them and give them a good shake, I do not because I was once there – in a relationship long dead but I was doing mouth-to-mouth, breathing every bit of air from my soul, desperately trying to resuscitate what had made its transition.

“If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but YOU for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Claudette P Esterine, coach
Seasons change, the snow/cold days will end and the leaves of your life will regrow.

That is what I learned from my trip to the seeming end of the abyss. Just before I turned around, something said:

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“Leap, leap and I will be there to dive with you. You may feel lonely but you are not alone. I AM always with you – always was and forever will be.” – Claudette P. Esterine

Seasons Change, So Too Your Life

Four years and counting later, I take that leap every day. Not one of faith but of KNOWING that whatever the circumstances, however things might seem or whether anxiety lurks – I am never alone. And so I bask every day in that knowledge and confidence that “All is well.”

What about you? Are you lonely or alone? Share your thoughts in the comments below and be sure to Subscribe and receive a daily email updating you of our posts. As well, if you are under 35 years old or know a young woman of that age, do join me for a one-hour chat next Monday. Register for my FREE Webinar on “A Practical Spirituality for Young Women,” and let us together redefine some of the issues and concerns that might be troubling you (or your friend).

Have a great rest of the day and catch you tomorrow.

Namaste

 

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19 thoughts on “Why You Should Embrace Being Alone

  1. great explanation about alone and lonely… i like to be alone when i am working on something but on weekend i can’t stay lonely it makes me frustrating and angry.

    1. Ms Claudette

      We each have a preferred way of being and you like all of us will find what works best for you! Thanks for sharing and stopping by! 🙂

  2. […] #1.  “Why You Should Embrace Being Alone” – the most read post of this week introduced the conversation of enjoying one’s own company and allowing who you are to express itself from the quietude. Although not directly related to world issues and the questions of freedom of expression of religious, cultural or political beliefs, the article directs us to the starting point of all things. As human beings, living in a diverse world, we have fallen into the trap of homogeneity – wanting, needing and even demanding everyone to be “like me.” We have lost sight that we are all unique in our own ways, even within the same culture, and our expressions of that cannot be curtailed without consequences – to self and unfortunately sometimes to others, deliberately or unintentionally. Read the full article here. […]

  3. I enjoy having some quiet time alone away from everyone else. It gives me time to think, imagine, and rejuvenate.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, those are some of the sweetest rewards of quiet time. 🙂

  4. Rosey

    I know someone who craves solitude too. He’s truly happier alone than in groups.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am just like him! 🙂

  5. dltolley

    I so love my alone time. I live in grand central station, so alone time is rare – and cherished! 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      Securing your alone time can be a challenge – a true moment to cherish! Hope you can grab some today as well Diane! 🙂

  6. Elizabeth O.

    There is something in me that keeps longing for alone time. It’s something that I enjoy, to be honest. When I was single, I never really found it difficult to be alone, it was a time of serenity and relaxation.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am single and absolutely love being single for that exact reason – serenity that I just cannot find in the midst of a relationship.

  7. Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. Sometimes, a person can be much happier being alone because you are free to move as you wish.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Oh, tell me about that!!! 🙂

  8. i would rather be alone than be with the wrong person. Find your happiness.. It’s the important key 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed it is! 🙂

  9. I like being alone at times. Quiet time to feel what surrounds me me

    1. Ms Claudette

      I hope you get as much as you need. Namaste 🙂

  10. One thing I asked of both of my kids as they became young adults was at least once in their lives, before marriage if they chose to marry, is to live in their own apartment without roommates, or a partner, and just learn how to be on their own. I agree 100% one CAN and is often lonely in a group or crowd of people or “friends” and yet can be so happy on their own! Alone has been given a bad rap. IN fact going solo can get you into new adventure others could hold you back from, or even meeting new people who may not approach you if you are in a group! Great article!

    1. Ms Claudette

      A woman after my heart! Thank you so much Joely for stopping by and commenting! Namaste 🙂

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