Wellness And Your Next Relationship

The Next Big Thing

Wellness is the new cool. It is a hot commodity and this trend has grown for a few years now. It is more than about being fit, granted that is the focus of many disciples of the “wellness movement.”

“Paul Pilzer in his book ‘The Wellness revolution’ predicted that wellness might become a USD200 billion worth industry – from health to beauty to food and medicine. And his expectations are becoming true, at least in terms of newly widespread lifestyle approaches. It is enough if we consider the boom of smart devices for tracking one’s physical daily activities, the increasing importance of functional materials at all levels of the fashion market offer and the overall hype of healthy lifestyles and physical activities.” (Source: Sportswear International)

Wellness Is…

On this blog, our focus has more been on the aspects of wellness that you cannot buy in a clothingΒ  store, workout in a gym or make a meal with. We have looked more at emotional, spiritual, financial, family and relationship wellness issues. Those areas of wellness that, if off-balance or unattended, will have negative impacts on your well-dressed, fit body having a nice healthy meal. So, in addition to the smart, wearable technology available, we believe that if a person, whether male or female, does not attend to their inner being all other wellness efforts will be wasted in the long run.

wellness
A well relationship

An area that this is most often and most vividly seen is in our intimate relationships. We choose and enter into relationships based on the health of our esteem, confidence and identity. You might not want to admit it, but as I look back at my past relationships, it is now easy to see where the “connection” emanated from. There were wounds that drove me to embrace that particular person and kept me there for however long. What is clear to me are:

  1. We really do attract who we are being in every moment. These persons are really teachers, holders of mirrors to help us see what we might have avoided or simply did not know was an seeping wound.
  2. Every relationship will come to an end – once the lesson has been learned, the fog clears or it gets cracked/broken so much that there is no further looking into it and a replacement is needed for further growth.
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Relationship Wellness

People hate to accept that relationships end. I know that was true of me. Those who particularly dislike this type of comment are the ones who are in committed, long-term relationships, married for a zillion years. Yet, is death not the end of the relationship in its physical form? What has become very clear to me as I have embraced this unchanging truth, is that my “connections” are fewer. My “relationships” are more intense, meaningful and mutually beneficial as the external trappings have been replaced by a deeper concern for quality.

wellness and richness
Rich want rich and slender

Being in a well relationship is more than the several years you are together. It certainly is more than being fit, rich or slender. Read this interesting report about how men and women select their partners. Not just any man or woman, but rich men and women – people who many of you might consider as epitomizing wellness.

Men with higher incomes showed stronger preferences for women with slender bodies, while women with higher incomes preferred men who had a steady income or made similar money, according to a new survey of 28,000 heterosexual men and women aged between 18 and 75. The study was conducted by researchers at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., and is due to be published in the January 2016. (Read the full article here)

Interestingly enough, the article concludes that what we want and what we actually get are two different things. Is that not the truth? What we get is what we are – not superficially but internally. No matter the amount of money you might have, the time that you spend in the gym or the cost of your wearable wellness meters, you will enter in a relationship with a man or woman (or both) who matches your place of esteem, confidence and deepest identity.

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How To Get Well For Your Next Relationship

So what can you do to at least step into a healthier relationship the next time around? Work on yourself.

There are many avenues to doing that and many supports available. They can be found in your phone book, your place of worship, your local health authority or on the Internet. Life and relationship coaches are available in just about every city throughout North America, Europe, the Caribbean – those are the places that I know. You can email me should you need more information about how to find support in your area or check out the services that I offer.

blab
Come chat with us

The bottom line is, your next relationship is going to be as good as what you bring to it. As a single woman by choice, this is something that has been a personal journey for me, one that I know the steps to very well. If you have some suggestions for other readers or general comments about this conversation, please leave your comments below.

Subscribe and receive one email update of posts here, as well as my monthly newsletter and affirmation poster. You might also want to join my friend, Beverly Sukie Martin, and I this Saturday for a Blab when we will be discussing this very issue of becoming well through the gift of goodbye.

Have a great Tuesday!

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42 thoughts on “Wellness And Your Next Relationship

  1. […] is the day we focus on wellness on this blog and as I have written so many times before, this is an area that covers not just having a fit body, eating right or doing meditations. […]

  2. Relationships are a lot of work but we must learn from the mistakes of our past and try and make ourselves better people. I was wondering if I could email you, I see that you are Councillor so you might be able to give me advice.

    1. Ms Claudette

      My email address is daughtersofsheba@gmail.com and we can most certainly speak. Much love and blessings. πŸ™‚

  3. Very nice article. Managing relationship needs effort

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you and indeed they do!

  4. […] have talked about money, finances, relationships and even sex generally and sex in the context of those who sell it. Depending on your perspective […]

  5. Relationships are a lot of work. You have to be well yourself in order to be in a healthy relationship. So important to take care of yourself first. Then also to learn to work together.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed! That is where the wheel really turns! Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  6. Reading this gave me life. It made me reevaluate the relationship that I have with my family. Because I believe that this article applies to family as well.

    1. Ms Claudette

      It absolutely does and you gave me life reading your comment, knowing that we connected with you on something very important to you. Namaste. πŸ™‚

  7. Thankfully their are so many TYPES of relationships…you don’t always have to focus on a romantic one πŸ˜€

    1. Ms Claudette

      Absolutely and the bottom line is – you have to be right with you before you enter into any type of relationship. πŸ™‚

  8. It was hard to let my last relationship go because I’d invested so much time into it. But it was the right thing.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Join the club girlfriend! My last true relationship was hell to break free from! But you are right, it was for the best! You soar so much higher once you are over the hurt. Much love and blessings! πŸ™‚

  9. Wendy

    I have finally realized that I need to work on myself and my happiness before getting into another relationship.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, it oftentimes takes us a while to figure, “Oh, I need to check in with me first before I connect with someone.” Glad you are at that point. Namaste πŸ™‚

  10. So true. Your relationships are only as good and as fulfilling as you enable them to be.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that! πŸ™‚

  11. These are some great points that you have brought up. I did find it odd that men with high incomes prefer slim women. I wonder why that is. I honestly look at personality, because the prettiest people can have some ugly qualities.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right – about pretty doesn’t necessarily mean awesome personality. Go figure why they prefer slender women! πŸ™‚

  12. My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years. It’s a lot of work like everyone else here say.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Congratulations! And yes, everyone will agree that relationships require a lot of input from both parties. πŸ™‚

  13. Elizabeth O.

    I love that you talked about emotional and psychological wellness instead of the physical aspect. It’s true, if you are not “well” in those aspects, then everything crumbles.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Absolutely! πŸ™‚

  14. I lost a relationship today. This is so true & it did teach me a lesson. I’m loving this post!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am so sorry to hear that you might be in some emotional pain but I promise you, once that passes, you will be awesome! Much love and blessings! πŸ™‚

  15. It is so important to take care of yourself for sure!

    1. Ms Claudette

      It most certainly is! πŸ™‚

  16. This is so true. It was really hard for me to come to terms that my marriage of 10 years was coming to an end. But, I have made it through the dark times, accepted it and have moved on. I am so much happier too!

    1. Ms Claudette

      That’s the thing – some people wear the length of their marriage as a prize or trophy. The real prize is – are you both happy within it? Are you both achieving your personal goals? Are you who you truly want to within an equal marriage/partnership? Are you still madly in love? Those are the prize winning questions as far as I am concerned. I am single and I can say yes, yes, yes to all of these! Like you, I am so happy, doing what I want to do, being all that God has asked me to be and if I never marry or have a relationship again – the world will still be perfect. Namaste my dear! πŸ™‚

  17. danavento

    Relationships are a lot of work, I can say that after 20+ years married.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Congratulations and yes you are correct. I had a 16 years one and it ended as we grew apart – and that is also a fact of life. Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  18. It always helps going into a new relationship to be right with yourselves first and foremost. Two broken pieces can not make a complete whole. Great post!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I so agree with you! People keep saying they are looking for their better half or this is my better half and I think that is so “wrong.” I am looking for my equal! No luck yet but keeping hope alive! πŸ™‚

  19. After my last relationship I took time to work on myself, even going to counselling to better ME before meeting someone else. It helped a lot and I’ve had much better relationships since (including my current one with my soon-to-be husband) πŸ™‚

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes!!! That’s what I’m talking about! Congratulations! πŸ™‚

  20. Relationships require work. You have to give good to receive god.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right and in order to “give good” you have to “be good” on the inside first. Namaste. πŸ™‚

  21. Wise words. We always get what we put into everything we attempt. Everything.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are absolutely correct on that Carol! Thank you for dropping by! πŸ™‚

  22. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    I am happily married, so for me there won’t be a next time around. Wishing you well the next time.

    1. aMs Claudette

      Why thank you – if I ever decide to go down that road again. The jury is out on that as I am happily single. πŸ™‚

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