The Next Big Thing
“Paul Pilzer in his book ‘The Wellness revolution’ predicted that wellness might become a USD200 billion worth industry – from health to beauty to food and medicine. And his expectations are becoming true, at least in terms of newly widespread lifestyle approaches. It is enough if we consider the boom of smart devices for tracking one’s physical daily activities, the increasing importance of functional materials at all levels of the fashion market offer and the overall hype of healthy lifestyles and physical activities.” (Source: Sportswear International)
On this blog, our focus has more been on the aspects of wellness that you cannot buy in a clothing store, workout in a gym or make a meal with. We have looked more at emotional, spiritual, financial, family and relationship wellness issues. Those areas of wellness that, if off-balance or unattended, will have negative impacts on your well-dressed, fit body having a nice healthy meal. So, in addition to the smart, wearable technology available, we believe that if a person, whether male or female, does not attend to their inner being all other wellness efforts will be wasted in the long run.
An area that this is most often and most vividly seen is in our intimate relationships. We choose and enter into relationships based on the health of our esteem, confidence and identity. You might not want to admit it, but as I look back at my past relationships, it is now easy to see where the “connection” emanated from. There were wounds that drove me to embrace that particular person and kept me there for however long. What is clear to me are:
- We really do attract who we are being in every moment. These persons are really teachers, holders of mirrors to help us see what we might have avoided or simply did not know was an seeping wound.
- Every relationship will come to an end – once the lesson has been learned, the fog clears or it gets cracked/broken so much that there is no further looking into it and a replacement is needed for further growth.
People hate to accept that relationships end. I know that was true of me. Those who particularly dislike this type of comment are the ones who are in committed, long-term relationships, married for a zillion years. Yet, is death not the end of the relationship in its physical form? What has become very clear to me as I have embraced this unchanging truth, is that my “connections” are fewer. My “relationships” are more intense, meaningful and mutually beneficial as the external trappings have been replaced by a deeper concern for quality.
Being in a well relationship is more than the several years you are together. It certainly is more than being fit, rich or slender. Read this interesting report about how men and women select their partners. Not just any man or woman, but rich men and women – people who many of you might consider as epitomizing wellness.
Men with higher incomes showed stronger preferences for women with slender bodies, while women with higher incomes preferred men who had a steady income or made similar money, according to a new survey of 28,000 heterosexual men and women aged between 18 and 75. The study was conducted by researchers at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., and is due to be published in the January 2016. (Read the full article here)
Interestingly enough, the article concludes that what we want and what we actually get are two different things. Is that not the truth? What we get is what we are – not superficially but internally. No matter the amount of money you might have, the time that you spend in the gym or the cost of your wearable wellness meters, you will enter in a relationship with a man or woman (or both) who matches your place of esteem, confidence and deepest identity.
How To Get Well For Your Next Relationship
So what can you do to at least step into a healthier relationship the next time around? Work on yourself.
There are many avenues to doing that and many supports available. They can be found in your phone book, your place of worship, your local health authority or on the Internet. Life and relationship coaches are available in just about every city throughout North America, Europe, the Caribbean – those are the places that I know. You can email me should you need more information about how to find support in your area or check out the services that I offer.
The bottom line is, your next relationship is going to be as good as what you bring to it. As a single woman by choice, this is something that has been a personal journey for me, one that I know the steps to very well. If you have some suggestions for other readers or general comments about this conversation, please leave your comments below.
Subscribe and receive one email update of posts here, as well as my monthly newsletter and affirmation poster. You might also want to join my friend, Beverly Sukie Martin, and I this Saturday for a Blab when we will be discussing this very issue of becoming well through the gift of goodbye.
Have a great Tuesday!