Top 2 Reasons Why Men Fear Becoming Dads

Wanna Have A Baby?

To be a dad or not to be a dad – remains one of the ultimate life questions.  For men at least.

We have all seen that look that flits across a woman’s face when she sees another woman and her newborn baby in the park and her thoughts goes to having a baby of her own.

For men, it is a little different. Becoming a dad takes a lot of thought and every man has fears that need to be smoldered before he can take that step to fatherhood. Why do men fear becoming dads? Most of the fear stems from the lack of a role model to guide them on how to be the father they need to be.

Usually, parents and non-parents are equally inclined to be concerned about the things that are beyond their control. Parents more-so tend to be predominantly frightened about the vivid and astounding dangers they hear about and see in the media or from friends and family. It is typical to be fearful and uneasy about becoming a dad, but no particular reason supports lingering in those worries perpetually.

Why Men Fear Becoming Dads

fatherhood
Lookout, there’s a baby coming!

Some of the top fears or concerns of a modern-day dad are merely myths that are effortlessly discredited, where others have a mind-set and fixed opinions, that might  take some adjustments to trade-off the fears for a more positive outlook.

Nonetheless, the top two fears and concerns around becoming a dad today are:

Money

Financial standard can be a big limiting factor for future dads. The need to provide for his family trumps every other issue for most men. Some of the major costs that are attached to fatherhood includes being able to provide money for: food, diapers, child care, bicycles, braces, allowances, and most importantly, college.

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Money is a necessary concern for modern dads but with the right planning one that is easily allayed.

To overcome this hurdle, the would-be father or new father reading this because his partner shared it with him is advised to make a list of his income and expenses. With the help of your partner decide what is compulsory and what can be put on hold. Major budget expenses like college are a long way of and you can save up money through the various options that are available on the market, such as, saving accounts, bonds and stocks and so on.

Loss of Freedom

Some men today fear that becoming a father would put an end to their youthful tendencies.

fathers
Fatherhood means no fun

In conjunction with the concern of taking on the role of a “responsible grown-up” is the worry that he will not be able to do any of the social activities he enjoys presently such as, hanging out with friends, eating out and taking road trips. He is afraid that he will not be able to have fun when he wants.

My view and experience when it concerns this fear is that being a dad does not mean you lose your freedom. It is still possible to go out with friends and have a social life.  With just a little more scheduling and effort dads can keep in the loop of life. On the other hand, one of the many rewards of being a dad is experiencing life in a whole new way.

Dive In

In the end, being a modern-day dad is not the end of a man’s  life as he has come know and love it.  It can take him a long time realizing that it is more than possible to be grown-up without being old but when he eventually realizes the promises in a new way of life, many men an develop an improved energy and embrace their new status.

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If there is a man in your life who is hesitating to take the plunge, share this post with him and discuss the matter as partners, rational adults and come to a decision not based on fear but what works best for you both. Leave a comment below with your thoughts on this or any other issue on this blog.


Contributor, Claudette P. Esterine
Robert Turner

Robert Turner is a Dad and lives in Georgia, U.S.  He enjoys a healthy debate as much as the next guy and writes short stories or inspirational books in his spare time. Check out his most recent article – “5 Things Every Son Wishes His Mom Understood About Raising A Man.”

 

 

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35 thoughts on “Top 2 Reasons Why Men Fear Becoming Dads

  1. As a Dad I can certainly agree that finances are a big part of the equation. This is really great advice. Fatherhood is an awesome adventure!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you for testifying to all what our post covered Jonathan! And thanks for the visit as well! 🙂

  2. Wendy

    Money issues scare me and I’m not a parent! I just have myself to worry about.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I understand your fear because I lived with it myself for many, many years! It took time, hard lessons and a decision to simplify my life for me to finally get over my fear. 🙂 All the best with your process.

  3. Money was a huge reason why my husband was afraid to start a family!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I really do think that most current Dads, if they had a fear money would top the list. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  4. I can see why there would be more pressure to make sure the family is supported. That’s a scary thing to have a little one relying on you!

    1. Ms Claudette

      And that is exactly what they do – depend on you, so the concern is real. 🙂

  5. I guess money will be the main reason…. As financially stable can afford all the expense and give good life to their child

    1. Ms Claudette

      I can understand that perspective. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  6. Yes, I think money is the number one reason. Most of them think they are not financially ready.

    1. Ms Claudette

      And some are not but not all. As Robert suggested, instead of delaying for ever, sit and working it out with their partner might alleviate some of the frar? Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  7. Money always seems to be a big reason. Jump in, it will work out men!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Isn’t that the truth? They always do work out. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  8. Elizabeth O.

    I guess it really depends on the man himself. A lot of them fear money because they’re aware that that area would depend on them solely.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You just gave me an idea for another post in that comment! Yes, you are correct, it would really depend on the man. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  9. dltolley

    I totally agree with your post! Nailed it!
    I’m fortunate to be married to the original ‘Ooh-let’s-try-this-new-experience!’ man. Fatherhood was one of those experiences.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You lucky woman!!! LOL! Enjoy Fall and your original man! Namaste 🙂

  10. it happened to my husband. He wasn’t ready for it. I got pregnant and he was pretty happy. He enjoys being a dad

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am sure he does! Thanks for sharing that! 🙂

  11. Now I know the reason. I thought it was the money issue.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Apparently not only money, according to Robert and he’s a guy! 🙂

  12. My husband was definitely scared to be a dad. Then, for our second when we found out it was twins, he was in shock for days.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I can just imagine! He has come to himself I know! 🙂

    2. Ms Claudette

      I can just imagine his shock when he heard twins! I am sure he has recovered by now! 🙂

  13. danavento

    Great article, my youngest was just making career choices and asking me all kinds of questions about things you brought up!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Cool! I am glad we hit the nail on the head with this one! 🙂

  14. I honestly believe that moms feel the same way. At least I did. Financial concerns and being tied down was definitely in my head.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I honestly agree with you 🙂

  15. My husband hated the loss of freedom when he became a dad. He then realized it was awesome to be a dad.

    1. Ms Claudette

      At least he was honest about both sides of the coin! Cheers to him! 🙂

  16. I agree that money is probably the biggest fear most men face when thinking about becoming a Dad–that responsibility may rest solely on their shoulders for a while at least. They might not want their wives to work but don’t know how else they will make ends meet. Their life style will change at least for the first year as they attempt to budget and live within it and save for emergencies. But most men I have known have ultimately embraced fatherhood wholeheartedly.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so correct in your assessment. There are also men who this is not an issue – money – who have not embraced fatherhood wholeheartedly. And that is very sad. 🙁

  17. Yup! Becoming a dad isn’t for every man. It definitely takes a special man.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Being a “child” who did not grow up with a dad in the house, and a mother of a child who had the same experience – I know you are right. 🙂

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