How To Stop Saying “No” To Your Personal Freedom

Emotional Suicide

Previously published on November 3, 2014

Do you know anyone who hangs on for dear life even though the situation they are in is literally or at least emotionally killing them?

When my first marriage slipped off the rocks and was rapidly heading to the bottom of a very steep cliff, some people advised me to work on it for the sake of my child. Only 22 years old but very clear that my body could not stand any more beatings nor was I ready to subdue my personality to fit into the role of submissive wife, I ruled them out of hand.

A couple of decades later and at the end of another relationship that same spirit emerged. I did what we say in Jamaica when I heard the voice-mail telling me it was over – I kissed my teeth. You know, that seething sound that basically means “Whatever!”

Mind/Body/Spirit Wellness

Thirty odd years was long enough for me to finally get it – you move on. After being:

  • Hurt to the core of your being
  • Betrayed by persons who, as they say, you would have taken a bullet for
  • Ridiculed and shamed in your own home

…if the pain does not kill you or lead you to killing yourself, you get tired of the same thing repeating and you learn the lesson. You get well in mind, body and spirit. You also start walking to that place called personal freedom. It has nothing to do with money, granted having your own money or source of enough income does help to make the journey more easy. In order to get well and start your trip, you must learn to practice forgiveness.

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Forgive Yourself First

Write a letter of apology to yourself

The one most valuable thing that I have learned about the much-touted “forgiveness,” is that you have to forgive yourself first.

Issue a pardon to the ‘little’ you who forgot your divinity, your royalty, the greatness that resides in you and requires no one’s approval or permission to express Itself.

Only after forgiving myself for my forgetfulness of who and Whose I am – the emotional amnesia that lead me to massive weight gain, diabetes, Grave disease and attempted suicides – only then was I able to let others off the hook.

I changed and so my world had to change.

It is a wonderful feeling – this thing called personal freedom. You gain it by stop denying where you are, what is appearing in your life  and what you truly desire. There are teachers who will feed you “lessons” about sacrifice and denial. My experience is that such lessons lead to denial of your true self, trying to fit into boxes – and they are many as every person you meet have a different sized one for you. As Margaret Thatcher famously said, “I cannot die washing up a tea cup,” not all of us wish to lead lives set by society.

Freedom Is Your Right

August Affirmation Poster

Some believe it requires winning the lottery to be free but they are dead wrong. Jim Carey, comedian and mystic in my view, has the wish for everyone to be rich and famous. He said that only then will they get it that it, money, really is not the fount of happiness.

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Happiness and personal freedom – those are the gifts of forgiveness of self and then others. Have you awarded yourself with these priceless treasures? What are you waiting for?

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Coming Up…
angry woman
Adele’s Pattern

Have a great rest of the day and do join us tomorrow when Alexis Ali will share Part III of her four-part fictional series on violence in women. Did you read Part I and Part II of “Adele’s Pattern: A Journey to Redemption?”

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28 thoughts on “How To Stop Saying “No” To Your Personal Freedom

  1. Such a wonderful and deeply introspective post! I love reading articles like this and you have a lot of them on your blog! Thank you for giving women this GREAT advice.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you so much Joely, thank you. That is the intention – to share what we have experienced or are experiencing so that any woman who might be going through the same thing has another perspective or at least know she is not alone. 🙂

  2. […] “Are You Enjoying Personal Freedom Where You Live?” and “How To Stop Saying “No” To Your Freedom” tied for third place in this week’s roundup. These are the two articles most related to the […]

  3. Ashley

    It’s so easy to lose sight of your own worth in desperate situations when you just want to close our eyes and wish it all away! Great post!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you and you are absolutely right! 🙂

  4. Love this! Loving ourselves should always be a priority

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes. it ought to be. 🙂

  5. sicorra

    Excellent post. Freedom is important to me as well.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you! 🙂

  6. With those examples I saw the gut kicking in trying to take the best path, but it takes strength sometimes to go with it. I’ve learned it’s always right!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, strength of will, strong faith and strength of conviction. 🙂

  7. Sounds very helpful! I have been there, definitely a hard place to be in.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, it is a very challenging place to be. 🙁

  8. Wendy

    I have been trying to get better about this. As I’m getting older I am learning to let go more.

    1. Ms Claudette

      It gets better with age. 🙂

  9. Love this! I’ve definitely been focusing on my personal freedom the last 6 months and it’s been life changing!

    xo Bree

  10. I am so glad that you learned to forgive yourself and found your freedom. Trying to save a relationship for the sake of the kids is the right thing to do, but if it still doesn’t work, you have to say yes to your personal freedom.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, I learned and that was part of my learning that – as on a aircraft, if you cannot breathe you cannot help anyone else. So, staying in an abusive relationship for anyone sake but yours is not good advice in my view. 🙁

  11. The power of forgiveness never ceases to amaze me. It really doesn’t impact the person it is directed at, but it does free the person doing the forgiving from carrying that load around forever.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right! Forgiveness is for you not the other! Namaste 🙂

  12. Elizabeth O.

    That’s right, it’s important to forgive yourself first. This will open everything up and help you stand up again.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes!!! Amen to that! 🙂

  13. Great advice that many take for granted. You are worth it.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed you are! 🙂

  14. tara pittman

    My freedom is is important to me. I like that I am free to be me.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that, Tara! 🙂

  15. Oh, I needed this today! Thank you so much for sharing 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      This is what makes me most happy – when a posts reaches the one or two or thousand that it was meant for. The Universe knows exactly what it is doing. Namaste my love. 🙂

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