Be Still And Know: Practising Patience

Know Yourself

stillnessHave you ever done a personality assessment on yourself?  The things that make you the person that you are and what others will observe about you?

There are formal processes for doing this. One is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or there are free online tests such as the Jung Personality Test available here.

I have gone through a few of these formal testings for various reasons, including employment. It was also necessary to do so as part of my chaplaincy training.

So, I think that I have a handle on my personality more or less. Some of the dominant things about me are:

  • Risk taker? Very much so
  • Impulsive? Somewhat
  • Driven? Absolutely about my passions
  • Persistent? Yes
  • Loyal? To death
  • Patient? Not very

That is the truth about me – some of my character traits, strengths and even flaws some might say. I wrote about them in a previously published article in April of this year. This is a re-draft and update of that post. So the question then and now is:

What does that make me? Me.

Hearing And Embracing Opinions About You

To care for someone, to want to be in their life for whatever the reason whether platonic or intimate is to recognize, accept and work with each and every aspect of them. In my case, it can be quite daunting but the possibilities are endless, if I may say so myself (with my tongue planted to my cheek). What has been your experience with relationships and friendships as a result of your dominant personality traits?

Back in April, just before this article was first written, I was driving to get the wind-shield on my car changed when I received a message on my phone. Having this fancy-to-me sync feature, I decided to call the messenger instead of pulling over to text him back. Surprisingly, given his busy work schedule, he answered and even more of a surprise he had time to chat for a bit.

patienceDepending on your outlook and the thickness of your skin, the ensuing conversation could be considered rough or revealing. There has hardly ever been any question about my skin quality so for me it was a very revealing discussion – amusing at points, intimate without being bawdy at others and most insightful on both sides. Well at least for me it was and so much so that it had me thinking all day on just one point – patience. My friend told me he found me quite impatient and petulant when things do not go how and at the pace that I want. Petulant is my choice of word to cover the more diplomatic ones he used.

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Really? Me? Impatient? Still?

Patience Leads To Great Possibilities

A part of me wanted to deny it but thankfully, defensive was no longer a word that described me. Going back to my “fish bowl” days of chaplaincy training, I can take hearing someone’s view of me, how they are experiencing me. I am most receptive when the feedback is constructive, caring and straightforward – and he was being all three.  Added to that he called me “Cute.” Flattery always works to sandwich what could be a blow to a weak personality. Being neither weak in personality, big on ego or arrogant in my ways, I listened and heard every observation he made.

patienceTo grow,  you have to be open to the possibility that past wounds are still unhealed. No one is too evolved or healed, not even Oprah, to not have an area or areas that need some attention. If that was the case, they would not be here on Earth but returned to Source.

You also have to be open to the messages that come and often through people. While not everyone who “speaks” to you is necessarily a messenger, no matter how holy or expert they present themselves, you can read between the lines and receive even a small gem.  This fellow who brought up this sparkling gem, as I interpreted it, was saying:

“You are going to miss the possibility of a great relationship – whatever it looks like – with your unresolved impatience.”

Impatience Blocking Your Good

There is nothing wrong with wanting to get things done, done right, in a timely fashion, efficiently and directly. My most anxious moments come with laggard performance, beating around the bush conversations, unnecessary delays and shoddy service. Maybe you are like me in those regards as well as being not being patient with rude people and behaviour. After ringing off from this fellow that lovely Spring day, I went about my business but the conversation stuck in my head. The question was there too – “What now, Claudette?”

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As we all must do when a true messenger gives us food for thought, I allowed my emotions to speak at their own pace. In others words, I took the first step in the healing process – acknowledgement.  Once past that, I quietly forgave myself and then embraced my residual impatience, recognizing that it comes from my sparsely inhabited fear room. Acceptance is always necessary to healing. I accepted that impatience remains an issue that could be blocking much more good that could be mine.

“Impatience is rooted in fear – fear that what is yours will not come, that you are undeserving or just it, whatever it is, simply cannot be possible.” Claudette Esterine

Everything is possible. Since that conversation, I continue to prove the truth of that statement, not in limelight spectacular ways but in ones that have been superbly important to my journey. You can too.

be still
In stillness lies wisdom
Be Still…

Listen to the cues, check your personality traits and see how best to make even the “troubling” aspects of you work in your favour. My impatience might have blocked some great interactions but I know that it has prevented me from settling for relationships that would not serve both sides.

Another quote that has served me well in this process – even as recently as yesterday – is “Be still and know that I am God.” You do not have to be a believer for those words to have meaning in your life. Patience and stillness are synonymous, try living them.

Share your comments and experience with me in the comments below and do have a wonderful Sunday! Subscribe and receive a daily update of our posts right in your inbox. Check out our weekend posts that you might have missed and do let us know what you think.


Claudette P. Esterine

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19 thoughts on “Be Still And Know: Practising Patience

  1. […] they say is a virtue and as shared here before, it is not one that came natural to me. Once an idea popped into my head, especially after there is […]

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you. 🙂

  2. […] October is a month of trauma and tragedy for me and every year something happens to remind me of those places of brokenness in my life that are awaiting attention. Life is so amazing that if you do not get the message, it will send it to someone causing a mirror to be held up to you. […]

  3. […] elude me – patience. The second most visited post of this week discussed that very topic. “Be Still And Know: Practising Patience,” could be expanded and republished as an eBook, if I may say so myself, and distributed through Fall […]

  4. I am also somewhat impulsive…. And it’s very difficult for me to be patience

    1. Ms Claudette

      And that has its merits. I guess the importance is knowing when you are about to do something that you might have second thoughts about a slow yourself down a bit? 🙂

  5. dltolley

    I’ve struggled with impatience forever. I want everything done NOW! And I’m the worst with myself. But I am aware and working. Can definitely see some improvement from a few years ago.

    1. Ms Claudette

      That’s what matters, that you recognise your challenge and working to improve as you see fit! Always, appreciate your stopping by! 🙂

  6. Elizabeth O.

    Apart from being aware of our reactions and our mind set, it also helps to listen to the people around us when it comes to getting to know ourselves. We have characteristics that we already know and then there are some that we learn from others, altogether, these will help us become a better version of ourselves.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Absolutely! However, I have learned to listen with an open heart as people will tell you what they either think you want to hear or project their own personality, issues, characteristics and judgements on you. I am very mindful to sift what is mine and what is theirs. My bottom line is, if I feel good, do no harm and leave the people I come into contact with feeling great about our encounter, even with just a smile, then I am on the right track. Have an awesome week. 🙂

  7. Solid and introspective post. I find through reading this many of my own traits many of which are similar to your own. I can be very dominant, controlling, and impatient. I think working from home, alone, being the only person capable, or able of getting things done only makes these traits worse. Sometimes these traits can be very negative, however they can also be quite positive.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I agree with you and just like anger – it depends on how we channel the energy. If we use our “traits” as you name them to move us into those things that we wish to accomplish, while understanding that not everyone work at our pace, all is well. It is when we misuse and misdirect it – like anger – that issues arise. Have an awesome week! 🙂

  8. So true. It’s hardest to be patient with myself rather than others.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I can fully understand that! 🙂

  9. Thank you for sharing! That is one of my favorite Bible verses. It demands for reflection. And patience too 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are welcome and you are correct! 🙂

  10. This is a lovely post. I have been working on this for a long time now. So far, I am doing good, but there are a few times that I find it so hard to be patient.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you and know that you are not alone. We all have our moments. The gift is in learning from it. Have a beautiful day! 🙂

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