Have you ever done a personality assessment on yourself? The things that make you the person that you are and what others will observe about you?
There are formal processes for doing this. One is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or there are free online tests such as the Jung Personality Test available here.
I have gone through a few of these formal testings for various reasons, including employment. It was also necessary to do so as part of my chaplaincy training.
So, I think that I have a handle on my personality more or less. Some of the dominant things about me are:
- Risk taker? Very much so
- Impulsive? Somewhat
- Driven? Absolutely about my passions
- Persistent? Yes
- Loyal? To death
- Patient? Not very
That is the truth about me – some of my character traits, strengths and even flaws some might say. I wrote about them in a previously published article in April of this year. This is a re-draft and update of that post. So the question then and now is:
What does that make me? Me.
Hearing And Embracing Opinions About You
To care for someone, to want to be in their life for whatever the reason whether platonic or intimate is to recognize, accept and work with each and every aspect of them. In my case, it can be quite daunting but the possibilities are endless, if I may say so myself (with my tongue planted to my cheek). What has been your experience with relationships and friendships as a result of your dominant personality traits?
Back in April, just before this article was first written, I was driving to get the wind-shield on my car changed when I received a message on my phone. Having this fancy-to-me sync feature, I decided to call the messenger instead of pulling over to text him back. Surprisingly, given his busy work schedule, he answered and even more of a surprise he had time to chat for a bit.
Depending on your outlook and the thickness of your skin, the ensuing conversation could be considered rough or revealing. There has hardly ever been any question about my skin quality so for me it was a very revealing discussion – amusing at points, intimate without being bawdy at others and most insightful on both sides. Well at least for me it was and so much so that it had me thinking all day on just one point – patience. My friend told me he found me quite impatient and petulant when things do not go how and at the pace that I want. Petulant is my choice of word to cover the more diplomatic ones he used.
Really? Me? Impatient? Still?
Patience Leads To Great Possibilities
A part of me wanted to deny it but thankfully, defensive was no longer a word that described me. Going back to my “fish bowl” days of chaplaincy training, I can take hearing someone’s view of me, how they are experiencing me. I am most receptive when the feedback is constructive, caring and straightforward – and he was being all three. Added to that he called me “Cute.” Flattery always works to sandwich what could be a blow to a weak personality. Being neither weak in personality, big on ego or arrogant in my ways, I listened and heard every observation he made.
To grow, you have to be open to the possibility that past wounds are still unhealed. No one is too evolved or healed, not even Oprah, to not have an area or areas that need some attention. If that was the case, they would not be here on Earth but returned to Source.
You also have to be open to the messages that come and often through people. While not everyone who “speaks” to you is necessarily a messenger, no matter how holy or expert they present themselves, you can read between the lines and receive even a small gem. This fellow who brought up this sparkling gem, as I interpreted it, was saying:
“You are going to miss the possibility of a great relationship – whatever it looks like – with your unresolved impatience.”
Impatience Blocking Your Good
There is nothing wrong with wanting to get things done, done right, in a timely fashion, efficiently and directly. My most anxious moments come with laggard performance, beating around the bush conversations, unnecessary delays and shoddy service. Maybe you are like me in those regards as well as being not being patient with rude people and behaviour. After ringing off from this fellow that lovely Spring day, I went about my business but the conversation stuck in my head. The question was there too – “What now, Claudette?”
As we all must do when a true messenger gives us food for thought, I allowed my emotions to speak at their own pace. In others words, I took the first step in the healing process – acknowledgement. Once past that, I quietly forgave myself and then embraced my residual impatience, recognizing that it comes from my sparsely inhabited fear room. Acceptance is always necessary to healing. I accepted that impatience remains an issue that could be blocking much more good that could be mine.
“Impatience is rooted in fear – fear that what is yours will not come, that you are undeserving or just it, whatever it is, simply cannot be possible.” Claudette Esterine
Everything is possible. Since that conversation, I continue to prove the truth of that statement, not in limelight spectacular ways but in ones that have been superbly important to my journey. You can too.
Listen to the cues, check your personality traits and see how best to make even the “troubling” aspects of you work in your favour. My impatience might have blocked some great interactions but I know that it has prevented me from settling for relationships that would not serve both sides.
Another quote that has served me well in this process – even as recently as yesterday – is “Be still and know that I am God.” You do not have to be a believer for those words to have meaning in your life. Patience and stillness are synonymous, try living them.
Share your comments and experience with me in the comments below and do have a wonderful Sunday! Subscribe and receive a daily update of our posts right in your inbox. Check out our weekend posts that you might have missed and do let us know what you think.