Are You A Power Talker Or Peddler Of Poison?

“Let’s Talk”

power talker attracts, peddler of poison chases away peopleIs it just me or have you noticed that some people, especially men in relationships, scatter when they hear, “Let’s talk?”

Why is that so? Is it because they think the conversation is going to be painful, boring and possibly repetitive? Are you in the habit of causing harm with your words or talking about the same thing over and over? Are you a power talker of peddler of poison?

I used to be like that but with time, training and a true desire to have meaningful interactions, I learned to watch not only my words but my body language. It is still hard for me to not show some feelings through my eyes – so if you want to gauge what is going on at a more deep level during our interaction, check them.

Killing Dissension

A version of this article was first published in June 2o14 on my former blog. The decision to revamp and republish here arose out of some interactions that I had a few days ago on my Facebook page. Dissatisfied and in disagreement with my position on a woman wearing niqab to participate in the citizenship swearing-in ceremony here in Canada, one man in particular became extremely rude, hostile and racist in his comments. Not a thin-skinned person, I was nonetheless somewhat affected and amused by his quick dive to racial slurs, even after I asked him to let us agree to disagree.

Yesterday, I restated my position on the matter, not out of fear, but to also publicly comment on the lowering of politeness in our societies and my observation at how some men, it seems, would like to return women to the proverbial kitchen. Watch and share your thoughts with me on the issue discussed in the comments below.

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Power Talker or Peddler of Poison

Back to the article and this matter of being a power talker of peddler of poison talk, another thing that has become very important for me is to take care of my inner space. There is real truth and value in the biblical instructions to “guard your heart” as truly the issues of our lives do flow from it.

minions in conversation
You sweet talker!

Our “talk” with others is directly influenced by our heart, frame of mind and feeling of well-being. People will enjoy speaking with you, even those you supervise/manage and to whom you have to offer not so great feedback, if your tongue is not poisoned. What do I mean by that?

When our heart space is cluttered, darkened and/or riddled with despair, hatred, envy or any feeling other than good, it is near impossible for us to offer conversations that will leave people doing the happy dance.

Yes, it is possible to “fake it” for a while and offer “nice” sounding words but our body language oftentimes tells a different story – the truth. Have you ever watched the television series “Lie To Me?” I recently came across it on Netflix and am almost about finished watching the three seasons. Like Ria Torres, Dr. Lightman’s protegΓ©, I am a “natural” at reading body language as a result of living in an abusive home, being sexually abused as a child and later being subjected to domestic violence in my marriage. I have become somewhat of an expert on the cues people give to me – a language that they often are unaware that they are speaking.

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Let’s talk

Get More People Wanting To Talk With You

Words are creative and especially so when fueled or energized with emotions. The acceptance rate of the invitation to “talk” or the number of persons seeking to have conversations with you is indicative whether your tongue is poisonous or power-filled. Here are a couple of ways to improve the conversion rate of people willing and gladly wanting to talk with you:

  1. Check your heart to see what is going on in your life. Are you happy or at least on the road to it? Is gratitude a resident there?
  2. Evict greed, jealousy and discontent (and their friends) from the rooms of your heart and see how many more meaningful and positive conversations start taking place in your life.

Be sure to “talk” with us should you need support sending those eviction notices out! Visit and like my Facebook page, as well,Β  follow me on Twitter where lots of tips, articles, and stories are shared for quick reading. Have you Subscribed yet? Do not delay, sign up today and receive a daily email updating you of our posts so you never miss one. As well, you will also receive my monthly affirmation poster.

Have a positively powerful day!


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42 thoughts on “Are You A Power Talker Or Peddler Of Poison?

  1. Where you want to be is probably somewhere in the middle. I’m a big believer in balancing things out. They’re only bad when they are an extreme.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thanks for sharing your perspective on this Jason! πŸ™‚

  2. Rosey

    The proverbial kitchen is still a big joke line for so many. But things have come such a long way, I’d like to think they will keep improving.

    1. Ms Claudette

      We have to keep hope alive, don’t we? πŸ™‚

  3. I think it depends on the tone of “let’s talk”. I have been in a relationship where that’s how we start off about talking about our day and what’s going on in the world.

    1. Ms Claudette

      That is the truth – tone/intention is everything. Thank you so much for sharing. πŸ™‚

  4. Taking a stance, whether in a relationship or on a current event, that amounts to a “let’s talk” situation will always have its ups and downs and varying view points which is fine – it’s when it crosses the line into being disrespectful that deeper issues arise & it becomes one sided vs true communication which requires active listening to work.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Absolutely! And that is where the art of conversation/communication becomes valuable – when you can listen without being disrespectful and then respond in good form. Thanks for commenting! πŸ™‚

  5. Elizabeth O.

    I guess it would depend on how the line is delivered in general. But yes, that’s an alarming phrase. That’s because “let’s talk” is not just about talking, it’s also about listening to the other person. It requires effort, emotions, and focus.

    1. Ms Claudette

      As always, another interesting perspective! Thanks Elizabeth for that! πŸ™‚

  6. I love this post.My husband is always “game” to talk. I guess that’s one of the reasons why we’ve been together for so many years.

    1. Ms Claudette

      It is always wonderful when you have a mate or close friend who loves talking…it most certainly helps to keep the air clean between you. Thanks for sharing! πŸ™‚

  7. You have me really curious about that Netflix show now. I’m going to check that out this afternoon!

    1. Ms Claudette

      LOL! Enjoy! πŸ™‚

  8. I’m going to be bookmarking this page. There is a lot of interesting points here that are very insightful
    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome and thank you for visiting! πŸ™‚

  9. This is such a great article! Learning to communicate and not just talk is so important.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed it is Rachel! Thank you for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  10. victoria

    What a great post I am a kind of people who speaks and never thinking about what I’ve saying and its ending I have so many people to offend.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Really? And is that working for you? Has your circles widen with people who you really want in it, emptied or filled with people who say what to you? πŸ™‚

  11. My husband does not run. He just turns me out when I talk

    1. Ms Claudette

      I think I know a few people like that! πŸ™‚

  12. I couldn’t agree with you more about guarding your heart…how we are feeling inside truly does have a HUGE impact on what comes out of our mouths!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Absolutely! You can know when it is not going to be pretty! πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  13. I think I am probably the opposite of a few others lol. I used to watch what I said and how but now I just say whatever. I still tend to be respectful abd know when to not really say something but in some cases I just talk.

    1. Ms Claudette

      That is understandable. Sometimes you just have to “talk.” πŸ™‚

  14. May

    Great article! I’m unfortunately not very vocal about my opinion and I really should try to be. My work environment isn’t very open to it though. If you disagree, people are unhappy and you end up getting reprimanded.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I know exactly what you mean May! Been there, done that. That’s why I am so grateful for my current day job! πŸ™‚

  15. I love that you recycled your article to this blog! I have been doing the same with some articles from my pervious blog! This is a great topic but sadly these days I do not see this type of behavior, attitude, and poor communication limited to only men.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are right, it is not limited to men. Myonly reason for focussing on the men somewhat here was due to the response to my Facebook post. Since then, I have also had women “lecturing” me on the incorrectness of my position. πŸ™‚ Thanks for visiting. πŸ™‚

  16. Generally people seek me out to talk to-I will readily agree to disagree and will not make a person feel bad intentionally. It has been done to me too often. I won’t voice an opinion unless asked for it specifically because truthfully most who ask for your opinion don’t want it anyway!!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are very correct on that Michele! I too am in the habit of not offering my opinion unless asked. However, there are instances such as the case in this blog with a matter of public interest and I will. What is so discouraging is that some people do not want to hear dissenting views. We all mmust agree otherwise they will become abusive and call you names if not worse. Now, that is just plain wrong. πŸ™

  17. That phrase is one of the least liked in the human language, I bet! It does sound scary sometimes!

    1. Ms Claudette

      πŸ™‚ You might be on to something there! Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  18. Insightful post! Thanks for sharing this way of analyzing conversations!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome and thank you for visiting! πŸ™‚

  19. Thanks for these suggestioons. Will certainly help us get better involved in out r compositioins

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are welcome and thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  20. I’ve find the older I get the better I am at speaking what’s in my heart. And it’s been good for both me and those I have relationships with

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yipee! I am so glad for you! πŸ™‚

  21. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    I am one of those people that speaks before I think and that ends up offending lots of people.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I used to be like that and I proudly called it being brutally honest. I have learned to temper it, and let wisdom guide me when to speak, what to say or just to shut up. πŸ™‚

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