5 Things Every Son Wishes Mom Understood About Raising A Man

Mother And Son

As they grew up, I watched my kids’ reactions change with time. Stepping into adulthood meant a different way of doing things. I recognised all this because I was once at that stage, but my wife found it hard understanding what it meant to no longer be raising her little baby but rather, a man.

There are so many things every son wishes his mom understood about raising a man, and these they end up complicating things for kids and their parents. As with all developmental traits, different sons warrant a different understanding. Every mom needs to study her son as he transitions into adulthood and figure how best to relate to him.

Five Things He Wants You To Get

Here is my list of the top five things every son wishes his mom understood about raising a man.

1. They can sleep all they want, it has nothing to do with lack of ambition

My wife does not understand why our son had to sleep as much as he did. She associated this habit with laziness and I watched him grumble about her not understanding that he was old enough to decide when to wake up or go to bed. She did not understand that it only made things worse by complaining. He was transforming from being a teenager into being a man and his body needed all the rest it could get, it had nothing to do with lack of ambition or laziness. I know this because I was once at that stage.

2. His room is his sanctuary

Still thinking he was a six-year-old, my wife would barge into our son’s room without knocking. This was always amusing to me. I would hear him go, “Jesus, mom, I didn’t ask you to come in! Don’t you ever knock?!” and she attributed that to being rude. I had to sit her down and make her understand that our son’s room was his personal space, and all men are protective about their turf, so she needed to be granted permission first. When she started knocking and asking to be let in he became more receptive.

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3. She is the stone age, he is the real deal

mother and son
Please don’t kiss me in public, Mom!

Most moms find it hard accepting that their sons have a sense of style and behavior. She still wants to pick out his clothes, select his shoes, and buy him things he will only end up seeing as outdated and no longer in vogue. Every mom has to understand that their son can choose his own dressing style and that times change and so does his style. Let him decide what he wants, but you still have the right to put your foot down when you believe he is going too far.

4. She is a source of incessant embarrassment

Parents, as a rule, should assume anonymity when their teenage sons are around. “I got this mom” becomes the slogan each time she tries to hug him in public except when no one is watching. I was not surprised when our son started sitting two rows behind us in the movies or had to sit at another pew in church. He was growing to be independent and being close to his mom meant embarrassing moments.

5. She is overprotective when it comes to dating

mother and son
Mother and Son – a special kind of love

She always made a point of checking in on him when he had the girls over at our home. Some parents ask their son to keep his door open when he has girls over, but let us be real, if he wanted to do something, he did not have to bring them home. Moms need to be concerned about their son’s social life, but being overprotective borders on embarrassing for them.

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So Moms…

I know and understand that Moms think they know what is best about all or most about life. However, from a boy growing into a man perspective, you need also appreciate that raising him to be a responsible man is a delicate task and requires tact, an almost invisible guiding hand at times and a great deal of understanding, as well as allowing him to chart his own course.

All the best with raising your boys into men – hope this helps even a bit.

Contributor, Claudette P. Esterine
Robert Turner

Robert Turner brings a male perspective to many of the issues we cover in this blog as well as items of current public conversations. He lives in Georgia, U.S. and enjoys a healthy debate as much as the next guy. Read his most recent post, The Body Image Question: Athletic Women – Hot or Not Your Type?”

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29 thoughts on “5 Things Every Son Wishes Mom Understood About Raising A Man

  1. […] Robert Turner is a Dad and lives in Georgia, U.S.  He enjoys a healthy debate as much as the next guy and writes short stories or inspirational books in his spare time. Check out his most recent article – “5 Things Every Son Wishes His Mom Understood About Raising A Man.” […]

  2. Ashley

    Glad I have many years before I have to deal with a teenage boy and letting my son grow up! I’m not ready yet! lol

    1. Ms Claudette

      Oh dear, do I hear a petulant Mom? LOL

  3. I have three boys, so this was a good read for me. I’ll have to remember all these things as the grow. Thanks!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome! 🙂

  4. victoria

    I have two boys the one is 3 years old and the one is 8 months old. when their was becoming a teens i would respect them in what they are doing and let them be

    1. Ms Claudette

      I think that would be a very good thing/approach to take. 🙂

  5. One thing moms wished sons knew about being a mom: we scarcely care how embarrassed you are, about anything. Embarrassment builds character. You want to be a man, there’s your first lesson. 😉

    1. Ms Claudette

      LOL! I love that! 🙂

  6. Rosey

    Men do have to have their own space. I’ve seen it time and time again.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I would have to agree with you – as do we women as well, maybe just in different ways? 🙂

  7. sicorra

    Those are excellent tips for raising boys. I think the bottom line here is that by following those tips you show your boys that you trust and respect them, and also as Tara mentioned above, that you expect the same in return.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am so glad that you ladies with sons find the tips in the post on point. They therefore might help mothers with younger sons as they get to these phase. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  8. Ditto with Liz. My son would stay in his room forever. I just let him be. My only request is that he goes down come dinner time to eat with the whole family.

    1. Ms Claudette

      That sounds like a fair trade to me. 🙂

  9. I think this is also about giving your son his personal space instead of trying to invade it. Of course they are still the opposite sex, we can’t just pretend that because they’re our sons, we know what they need.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are so right! 🙂

  10. I have boys and they can sleep all day and night, I have learned to just let them be.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are a wise woman! 🙂

  11. Totally agreed with the facts but these should apply to both son and daughter!!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, they can apply to both but this post was written from the particular perspective. Thanks for visiting.

  12. My son’s room is for sure his sanctuary. I just let him have the space and when he comes out of the cave, I’m happy to see him!

    1. Ms Claudette

      LOL! That’s too funny but the best way to handle it. 🙂

  13. I think these can apply to sons and daughters too!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I think you are right 🙂

  14. tara pittman

    I always knock before I enter my teen sons room. I want the respect back so it works.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Exactly Tara! 🙂

  15. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    I must think like a guy because all of these make perfect sense to me.

    1. Ms Claudette

      LOL Robin, maybe you do! 🙂

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