Mother And Son
As they grew up, I watched my kids’ reactions change with time. Stepping into adulthood meant a different way of doing things. I recognised all this because I was once at that stage, but my wife found it hard understanding what it meant to no longer be raising her little baby but rather, a man.
There are so many things every son wishes his mom understood about raising a man, and these they end up complicating things for kids and their parents. As with all developmental traits, different sons warrant a different understanding. Every mom needs to study her son as he transitions into adulthood and figure how best to relate to him.
Five Things He Wants You To Get
Here is my list of the top five things every son wishes his mom understood about raising a man.
1. They can sleep all they want, it has nothing to do with lack of ambition
My wife does not understand why our son had to sleep as much as he did. She associated this habit with laziness and I watched him grumble about her not understanding that he was old enough to decide when to wake up or go to bed. She did not understand that it only made things worse by complaining. He was transforming from being a teenager into being a man and his body needed all the rest it could get, it had nothing to do with lack of ambition or laziness. I know this because I was once at that stage.
2. His room is his sanctuary
Still thinking he was a six-year-old, my wife would barge into our son’s room without knocking. This was always amusing to me. I would hear him go, “Jesus, mom, I didn’t ask you to come in! Don’t you ever knock?!” and she attributed that to being rude. I had to sit her down and make her understand that our son’s room was his personal space, and all men are protective about their turf, so she needed to be granted permission first. When she started knocking and asking to be let in he became more receptive.
3. She is the stone age, he is the real deal
Most moms find it hard accepting that their sons have a sense of style and behavior. She still wants to pick out his clothes, select his shoes, and buy him things he will only end up seeing as outdated and no longer in vogue. Every mom has to understand that their son can choose his own dressing style and that times change and so does his style. Let him decide what he wants, but you still have the right to put your foot down when you believe he is going too far.
4. She is a source of incessant embarrassment
Parents, as a rule, should assume anonymity when their teenage sons are around. “I got this mom” becomes the slogan each time she tries to hug him in public except when no one is watching. I was not surprised when our son started sitting two rows behind us in the movies or had to sit at another pew in church. He was growing to be independent and being close to his mom meant embarrassing moments.
5. She is overprotective when it comes to dating
She always made a point of checking in on him when he had the girls over at our home. Some parents ask their son to keep his door open when he has girls over, but let us be real, if he wanted to do something, he did not have to bring them home. Moms need to be concerned about their son’s social life, but being overprotective borders on embarrassing for them.
I know and understand that Moms think they know what is best about all or most about life. However, from a boy growing into a man perspective, you need also appreciate that raising him to be a responsible man is a delicate task and requires tact, an almost invisible guiding hand at times and a great deal of understanding, as well as allowing him to chart his own course.
All the best with raising your boys into men – hope this helps even a bit.
Robert Turner brings a male perspective to many of the issues we cover in this blog as well as items of current public conversations. He lives in Georgia, U.S. and enjoys a healthy debate as much as the next guy. Read his most recent post, The Body Image Question: Athletic Women – Hot or Not Your Type?”
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