3 Leading Questions To Major Life Changes

Successful Boat Building

We each model success according to the ideals we hold for our lives and against the standards set by the community, society and even country that we live in. Success is most often defined, delineated and described in terms of material belongings, what you are able to gather, how much you can spend, where and with whom you party and the job title more than the real function.

If that “floats your boat,” as an old saying goes, then the last thing on my mind is to sink it. My intention, as my strategy for this blog continues to evolve, is to support those whose boats have not left the dock. It is also to help you navigate life changes.

As the lead blogger and practical spiritual coach, it is my duty and responsibility to define success for Claudette P. Esterine dot-com. This blog started as a hobby of mine over a decade ago, a virtual journal as most blogs were back then. It evolved and changed homes a couple of times now, the longest place of residence being Blogger.com, but relocated to WordPress in June of this year. Since then, I have defined, fine-tuned and refined our content and with the help of friends and strangers who have become friends and Contributors, seven days a week we offer content that we hope will support women around the world build their boats, take them to the dock and set sail.

Being a woman who is sailing on the high seas of life, just about every story is personal to me. What we write tells a tale that the particular author has some personal knowledge and experience with or have seen the situation first hand in someone else’ life. To now, Mondays to Thursday we have posted twice a day, however, as we are always evolving that will change as of today. There will only be two posts on the days that a Contributor is featured. I will set the tone with a morning post and then the featured post will be published at the usual time in the afternoon (EST).

Define Your Brand Of Success

Free to be happy

This change is like every change implemented and embraced in my personal life – it will make good greater, it will focus us more and it will make me as the Editor more happy. More important, I hope it will mean greater success for the blog and future endeavours.

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Business aside, today’s conversation is about success and how to define it and get there. At the heart of defining success, it is my belief that you must ask yourselves two questions:

  1. Am I happy? Not in the bubbling, giggling, delirious sort of way – which nothing is wrong with being – but in a constant, steady, always at the core of your emotions kinda way.
  2. If I am that kind of happy – what leads and keeps me in that state? If I am not, what can lead me to my happy?

What follows is an excerpt from aΒ previously published post. It discusses how to get to your happy. Read on and do leave your comments below:

Leading Questions To Happiness

beautiful woman
Are you happy?

Are you happy with your life? Is your job somewhere along your desired career path? Does your relationship bring out the best in you? What kind of friends do you tend to attract?

Sometimes I go off on a retreat to a park, by a body of water or just sitting on the floor in a quiet corner of Chapter’s book store. I find myself needing this when life seems to be bringing me way more than manageable for me.

In these “by myself” moments, I ponder these questions:

  • How do I really feel about what is happening, all bull crap aside?
  • The negative emotions that I am having, what are they trying to tell me?
  • Does anything need to change for me to feel good again? If yes, what?

By the end of this talk with myself, followed by intense listening, a plan is in place. There are times when the plan will come quickly, at least a first step. Other times, it takes a few hours, days or even months.

What is immediate, however, is being washed in a feeling of optimism. Read and posted this ‘letter’ on my Facebook page:

Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist:
While you guys were arguing about the glass of water being half full or half empty. I drank it.
The Opportunist

Being a positive thinker is equal to having a Pollyana mentality in some people’s opinion. The Opportunist has gotten a worse reputation of being selfish. Too bad. [optin-cat id=”6744″]

The Joys of Positive Thinking

Looking back on my life and assessing my current standing, I grew into optimism coming out of a very dysfunctional single-parent home. There were many odds stacked against me and no one really to encourage me that all things work together for good. Literally, I motivated myself. Defining success and finding what creates the deepest feelings of happiness is often – if not always – connected to maintaining a positive outlook on life.Β  Here are my three suggestions to get you started:

  • positive thinking
    Positivists drink better wine

    Β Want to be happier? Think positive thoughts about your life right where you are in this moment. Right there on the cot in the back room of your friend’s house. Know that all the food you need now is in that bowl of macaroni and cheese!

  • Want a job that uses your gifts, talents and passion? Be thankful for the one you have now that will give you a good reference. Recognize the skills you gained doing all those seemingly deadbeat jobs.
  • Want a more life-enhancing relationship and genuine friends? Well, first express your gratitude to those who helped you to know what you truly want. Write them letters. No need to mail them but the act of sharing a blessing with them will improve your sense of freedom to choose again.

“Drink from Life’s glass instead of complaining about the colour of the container! The more you appreciate the contents of your cup, the more and greater will be added unto you.”

The bottom line in boat building is first defining the shape, size, and type of your boat, then build it. Others will want to pitch in with their suggestions but then that would not be your boat to happiness. This is a job for you and you alone. When you get it done, then you can offer rides to those who are good seamen and who want to go where you are sailing!

Webinars with Claudette

Have a great Throwback Thursday and do Subscribe to receive our daily email update of posts published here. We do not spam and you will receive only one email a day listing whatever was published here. Also, check out my Webinars – the recording of two are available FREE for your viewing and consider registering for “A Practical Spirituality in Today’s World,” which takes place LIVE beginning October 7, 2015.

There are more exciting things in the pipeline as this blog continues to grow – connect and be a part of the change.



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38 thoughts on “3 Leading Questions To Major Life Changes

  1. […] are several articles here that discusses this question of letting go, change and yes, weaning in many ways, so please browse the archives as well as become a member of this […]

  2. […] with or without a coach. The first step is acknowledging that the story you have told is not one of gratitude. The follow-up steps will vary from person to person but […]

  3. This post really helps gets to the heart of things.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you for saying that. πŸ™‚

  4. Really nice article… Totally agree with your question about happiness

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you! I am so happy that you found resonance with the argument about happiness! Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  5. eliz frank

    Claudette, there’s something up with your comment box. My original comment timed out, my 2nd was erased by one of your popups. Phew! Anyway, I better hurry before it cuts me off again. The Opportunist’s comment was hysterical. We are our thoughts.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Sorry about the challenges and thanks for trying again and again to comment. It is much appreciated. Glad you got a laugh in the post! πŸ™‚

  6. It definitely is a good idea to really think about a situation and ask yourself if it makes you happy. Not everyone feels the same in any given situation so we can’t let others decide for us.

    1. Ms Claudette

      No we cannot that’s why you have to check in with yourself. Have an awesome weekend! πŸ™‚

  7. I always try to never make a big decision in the heat of the moment, I don’t want my decision to be regretted later on!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, I believe in that – having no regrets in life. Namaste πŸ™‚

  8. These are great points. There are skills and lessons you can gain from almost every situation.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed they are! Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  9. Katya

    I noticed that in different periods of my life different things make me happy. If previously it were smth like parties, shopping, etc now it’s more about deep relationship and be true to myself.

    1. Ms Claudette

      It gets better and more focussed with age! Love you girl! πŸ™‚

  10. Great questions to ask yourself. I would have to agree that I’m not the bubbly, happy person on the outside, but that doesn’t mean I’m not content and happy inside. Although, I’m always working to improve, as well.

    1. Ms Claudette

      We don’t all have to be extroverts, I am most certainly not. There was a function at my office yesterday and my boss didn’t get it that I really didn’t care much to be in the spotlight. You, who have a blog and is all over social media?!!! LOL. Have a great weekend.

  11. These are some wonderful in-depth questions to ponder. They have me thinking about a few things going on right now.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am so glad that we are supporting your process. Namaste πŸ™‚

  12. It’s so hard to think about positive things when a lot of bad things seemed to be happening all at the same time. But once you’ve changed your outlook and become more positive about things, you’ll realize that things are easier to handle.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I fully agree with you on this. I would also add that in my experience, the less I focus on the negativity the less those experiences come to me. Namaste. πŸ™‚

  13. It’s all about perspective and how you react or deal with things. The goals that we set are full of challenges and it’s up to us to face those challenges with a positive outlook.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed it is! Thank you for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  14. I enjoy reading your post it’s not easy at time but I try to remain positive ….”Drink from like glass stop complaining” is a work in progress for me.

    1. Ms Claudette

      And it is a work in progress for us all – some of us are ahead and some a behind. What is important is to not stop trying. πŸ™‚

  15. I have made it a habit when I am feeling negative to try and remind myself of all the positive. Doing that can completely change my day.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Good for you!!! πŸ™‚

  16. These questions made me think. I need to think more about how these affect me.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I am glad we have you thinking. Mission accomplished. πŸ™‚

  17. I love your analogies! I think I’m pretty happy in general most times…but when I do lose heart, it’s not so good. I try my best to bounce back quickly, though!

    1. Ms Claudette

      And that’s the best anyone can do – take the licks and bounce back as quickly as possible! Hope today is a great day for you! πŸ™‚

  18. I try my hardest to stay positive (I think I’m pretty good at it) but if it’s some major change that all goes out the window!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I know exactly how you feel on that – that’s where your “bounce back” skills come in. πŸ™‚

  19. kimgib3

    Great post – enjoyed reading it. Like the quote about drinking from life’s glass instead of complaining about the color of the cup.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you! I am really glad you enjoyed reading and that you liked the quote! Have a win…I meant wonderful day! πŸ™‚

  20. I am NOT a fan of change. I know it’s a part of life, but I don’t have to like it.

    1. Ms Claudette

      At least you are honest about it! LOL. I had another person tell me that recently and I can understand it but as you say and to put it in other words – “Change is the only constant in life.” Namaste. πŸ™‚

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