You Too Can Be Happy In 3 Steps

It Comes From Within

“…If you think you need sound bites to inspire your work, then you’re in the wrong line of work. If your work doesn’t inspire you, you owe it to yourself to search for work that does. And searching for quotes to keep your spirits up is like filling a bottomless pit with a few grains of sand. Happiness comes only from within.” Steve Tobak

happiness, happy womanLast Motivational Monday the difference between motivation and inspiration was discussed here and without belaboring the point, we return somewhat to that conversation.

It is an important one to have, better yet it is instructive to understand the difference. There are so many who equate motivation or being motivated to athletic prowess, a fit body and being strong, courageous and extroverted. They are not wrong. There is no wrong or right in this, so do not make that mistake and think the aim is to get you to not seek external activities or things to get you up on going, especially on a Monday.

Happiness: What It Is Not

Happiness, a consistent, underlying, undefinable feeling of contentment is what this is about. How do you get to or return to that state of being that children seem to always have? Well before we teach, train or thump (in the worse case scenarios) it out of them.

For most of my life, happy is not a word you would use to describe me. Had you met me back then and saw me smiling and thought I was happy then you would be have been conned into thinking that Claudette was a happy person. Closed doors, showers and my partner knew the true story.

stuff, more and more stuff and money
The more the merrier?

There were moments, fleeting as they were but valuable moments when I tasted what it meant to be happy. Those lingering memories of happiness were what kept me going, searching for more. I found things, stuff and even places to visit that brought some measure of happiness – not to mention food. My house was loaded with furniture, pieces of art, pictures from trips and outings and my body carried the weight of the many delicious meals that had me ecstatic – but only for a while.

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Eventually I concluded – not in a declared and published way – that long-lasting happiness is either a myth or not something that remains with you for any length of time. When the proverbial bottom fell out of my world nine years ago – the one that I had come to accept as the happiest it would ever be – I voted for the myth theory.

3 Steps To Happy

Since that time and many trips through some of the darkest valleys ever, where I met some of the unhappiest people  (many with the prettiest smiles on their faces and finest things in their houses) and gazed into the mirrors they held up to me, I found out how to be happy – no matter what. Here is what I learned and what I invite you to consider:

1. Speak the truth and speak it first and loudest to yourself.  If you are not happy, nothing motivates you or not for any significant time and there is a lingering feeling of emptiness deep within you, acknowledge not mask it. Stuff, people, food are masks that many use to fill the void within them, to pretend and put up a façade of joy for the world to see. Behind closed doors it is an entirely different story.

2. Stop reading, listening or asking others, including family, close friends, pastors, even my blog for direction. Only you know what will make you consistently happy. Get away from all of them, from the Internet, from this blog and get to know yourself once and for all. Go on a retreat for however long or short as necessary with pen and paper, leave the phone in the car if not at home, and get real with yourself.  The only guru you truly need is the still small voice that has tried to get your attention for however long now.

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3. Open a dictionary and get the definition of these two words: Integrity and Dignity. These are two of the most important words to understand and apply in a very personal way. Before you head home from your time out (Step #2), write a mission or vision statement for the rest of your life. My suggestion is that these two words are included and explained using your understanding of having personal integrity and personal dignity – not what society dictates but how you will live from now on.

Take Inspired Action, No Other Is Worth It

Acceptance, Thought/Reflection and Inspired Action – the three steps to creating a sense of meaning and purpose to your life. This past weekend, as I re-read a journal of mine from 2007, I saw some of my reflection notes and the inspired action plan that came from it. One sentence jumped out at me that, reading it again, made me think it was my turning point moment:

It is through wisdom that a tragedy becomes a teaching. Those moments are (brackets) and life goes on.

Wisdom turns tragedy into a teaching
Inspired Action

Has every day been like walking through a rose garden? Will you stumble again? Of course! What I have learned and what you will too is that happiness is a daily, sometime minutely decision, one that is easier to make when you  know who you are, what you desire and have a road map to living the life you want.

On August 30, I will be hosting a webinar on – “A Practical Spirituality For The Busy Woman” – and will be covering in more depth how to lead a happy life, according to your design. Check it out and sign-up today! It is free but space is limited.

Have a great Monday and be sure to subscribe and get updates when new articles post here such as the one later this afternoon on Dignity.






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39 thoughts on “You Too Can Be Happy In 3 Steps

  1. […] #1.  “You Too Can Be Happy In 3 Steps” – This is the most read post and it got straight to the point on happiness and what is affecting 350 Million people today – depression: […]

  2. You are so true Claudette! The second one is the best…I think we need to listen ourself not the others because we know the best what we need to be happy.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed we do and we often get talked out of our best! Pay attention to yourself folks! Thanks for stopping by Sinziana! 🙂

  3. Love your post. I am a firm believer that happiness is a choice not a destination

    1. Ms Claudette

      Any I am believing in that right along with you! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Happiness can be hard to achieve but is worth it.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed it is! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  5. Hehehehe is there such thing as being too honest?!? Swear it can be a curse sometimes for me lol…

    1. Ms Claudette

      That’s funny! But i do understand what you mean. My rule of thumb with honesty is to always tell the truth but be mindful of how much the recipient can handle. When talking to myself – I lay it on very, very thickly! 🙂

  6. This is so important and I actually think about it a lot.

    I recently asked a friend, if they were to die today, would they feel as if they had done everything that they had wanted to do while they were here, and were they happy. They replied that they were “content”, and in essence, happy. And it made me realize that I am not content in the way things are today.

    And you are so right, just because we have a smile on our face, doesn’t necessarily mean we are happy.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Your friend was on point. Happiness doesn’t mean all smiles, giggles, fuzzy and delirious every day. An abiding sense of contentment is for me the mark of happiness. And by that I do not mean boredom because I have used the that word “content” to describe my feelings in a relationship where I was bored! LOL. Now, I am contented – every day. I like where my life is at, where it is going and even where I have been. IF nothing changes or if I should die tomorrow, I would die happy and I do not have a pile of money, fancy cars, designer clothes, a vault full of jewellery – the stuff. And the smile on my face is finally genuine. Namaste my dear and I do you will soon get to your “content.” 🙂

  7. Everything you said here is true and I totally agree with you. It’s a tough time for us, but I don’t let it bring me down. Thank you for sharing these important steps.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome! I hope and pray that things turn around for you soon! 🙂

  8. So true. I am working on this, as I feel like I’m not in a happy, contented place right now. Thank you for the tips and motivations.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Anytime my dear and do visit often as that is what we aim to do here – post articles that help even one women through the (bitter/sweet) grind we call life. Namaste 🙂

  9. victoria

    I’d love to read your post about happiness, Happiness for me is to see my two sons happy and looks stable in their life

    1. Ms Claudette

      Isn’t that the biggest source of happiness for mothers – seeing their children happy? Much love and blessings to you and them! 🙂

  10. Number 2 is the most important for me. Thanks for sharing this tips/steps!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome! And thanks for visiting! 🙂

  11. I love your steps to happiness. I would like to strive to focus on each of them to be a happier person!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you Megan and whenever you are ready, you go right ahead! Namaste 🙂

  12. Elizabeth O.

    Everything really come from within. If you don’t feel like being happy, you never will be. It’s the same as moving on, you have to start with you.

    1. Ms Claudette

      So very true Elizabeth! Thanks for dropping by! 🙂

  13. i think happiness is our choice.. set up our mind and be happy!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that! 🙂

  14. Happiness for me comes from a full day of playing with my son and spending time outside!

    1. Ms Claudette

      That sounds like an awesome way to get to your happy! 🙂

  15. So many people need to read this. I think I am sincerely a happy person.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you for that! It is great to feel that way, is it not? 🙂

  16. Wynn chow

    It’s true, I agreed with you

    1. Ms Claudette

      Glad that I am not alone on this! 🙂

  17. Nice post. You are in charge of your happy

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes I am and so are you! Namaste 🙂

  18. Wendy

    I really need to get more honest with myself. Thank you for the post. I will be spending some time alone tonight to think.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Awww. honey, I am so happy that we opened a window for you to enter your quiet place. Namaste 🙂

  19. dltolley

    All of the above. Inspirational, Claudette!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you so much Dianne! You know that I really, really appreciate your visits and comments! 🙂

  20. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    I always speak the truth. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, though 😉

    1. Ms Claudette

      I hear you on that! 🙂

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