She Is Not Sexy, She Is Violent: A Hard Truth To Accept

Violence By Women

Today’s conversation is not sexy, simple or sentimental. It is serious. As a blog concerned with the daily issues affecting the lives – the entire being – of women, it would be remiss, irresponsible, ingenuous and plain stupid for me, as the lead blogger, to not address the underbelly of women’s lives. [tweetthis]Read the hard truth about violence in women in this blog post! #RealTalk[/tweetthis]

Violence by women.

As always, the conversations that we have are always grounded, to some degree, in the lived experiences of the Contributors and myself. When it comes to this one – a touchy matter, one that is often swept under the carpet in most magazines, blogs, conversations and social media posts – I am a survivor of violence by women and I have come very close to being violent with another woman. That latter story will one day be the focus of a blog post – what happened and how it is an experience that I will NEVER repeat but for today let us look at the bigger picture.

Short Story Series About A Violent Woman

violence by women
Angry women

Later today, in our afternoon post, Alexis Ali will share the first in a four-part short story series that will tell the tale of a woman, a mother, somebody’s friend who did not understand how to channel her anger in ways to propel her growth and instead chose to pummel those who she was ordained to protect.

When Alexis and I were discussing the idea for this post, our conversation moved us both to a deeper level of connecting. We have never met face-to-face but as we played with ways to cover the issue, we had a moment of heart-opening and we clicked as it became clear that this topic is real for both of us.

Like Alexi and I, women across the world lead and live different lives. We have varying economic circumstances, our career paths are as wide as the distance between us, our relationships cover the spectrum of intimacy, so too our politics. What is common, however, is that we all have blood flowing through our veins, which means we are alive and growing through the daily experiences of our living. Unfortunately some of those experiences lead us down paths of darkness and while we continue to grow even from the depths of despair, it is a long, challenging and pain-riddled path.

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Why Some Women Act Out?

As there are differences among women, so too are there differences that lead a woman (and men for that matter) to violence. Some are deeply rooted in her psyche, some she picked up along the way starting from her childhood home and others she learned or thought she had to adopt to survive in a world seemingly set up against her. Some of the latter reasons and conversations around them is what I bring to your attention through some links below. They are not all-encompassing but give a snapshot of some of the issues that cause women to act out, become violent against their children, spouses, other women, etc. The reasons range from little or no emotion management skill, poor choices, work-related stress and simply trying to keep up with the boys.

sad, stressed
Emotions management issues

Check them out, absorb the information, share it with your friends and subscribe to receive updates when Alexis and all other Contributors post articles here. I will also be posting some of these articles to my Facebook page, so you can Like me there (do not stalk – lol) and share them:

  • The Surprising Truth About Women and Violence: “There is little dispute that men commit far more violent acts than women. According to FBI data on crime in the U.S., they account for some 90% of known murderers….Family and intimate relationships—the one area feminists often identify as a key battleground in the war on women—are also an area in which women are most likely to be violent, and not just in response to male aggression but toward children, elders, female relatives or partners, and non-violent men, according to a study published in the Journal of Family Violence.”
  • Women At All Levels of UK Companies are Paid Less Than Men: “It’s old hat now that women are paid less than men, even if they’re at the very top of their industry. The latest confirmation comes from data in the UK showing that women in senior management or at director level in the country earn 11% less than their male counterparts, and are awarded with slightly more than half the average bonus given to men each year.”
  • Women in Male-Dominated Jobs Have More Stress: “Women working in jobs dominated by men have high levels of interpersonal stress that could harm their health, shows a new study presented at the American Sociological Association’s annual meeting.”
  • Women Who Stalk women: Charlotte Shane reports on women-on-woman harassment cases and their relationship to the false intimacy of the internet.
  • Why Are We Denying That Women Used Ashley Madison?: “When it emerged that the hack on affair website Ashley Madison had potentially outed 36 million users, we the public berated the unfaithful. But, if you look closely at the media coverage, it’s only the site’s male users who are being called to account.”
  • 2 Women Charged In Robbery Spree: “Two Fort Wayne women were arrested on preliminary charges of robbery and other felonies, accused of working together on a number of occasions in the past few weeks. And in each instance, it appears the victims had contacted one of the women in an attempt to solicit sex, but ended up with both of them and in some cases two men robbing them.”
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Steps To Healing

Acknowledgment is the first step in the healing process as far as I am concerned and today’s conversation is another step for us as a community to take. You can walk further with me and join in the conversation about creating a practical tool, strategies for your life – a spiritual practice that even the woman who is so busy trying to make ends meet will benefit from. Watch this video invitation to you and check out the details for my FREE Webinar and register today!

Have a peace-filled day

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20 thoughts on “She Is Not Sexy, She Is Violent: A Hard Truth To Accept

  1. […] physical (and emotional) harm on their male partners. They also physically and emotionally harm and scar their children. If we should meet one day, I will show you the scars on my body that were left by my now deceased […]

  2. […] Some feminists might be reluctant to admit that there are women who simply do not have a handle on emotions management, preferring to push the issue under the carpet of “more men abuse women.” While the […]

  3. In this sense I don’t think women are any different to men. Everybody gets angry just depends how you express your anger and some women do get violent.

    1. Ms Claudette

      No, we are not, however, society tends to downplay the fact that women can be violent and very much so. It really is not “fair” to us as we do not get the support needed when it happens.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are welcome and thank you!

    2. Ms Claudette

      You are welcome!

  4. […] “She Is Not Sexy, She Is Violent: A Hard Truth To Accept” was the 2nd most read article this week and it was well received and described as one that the time is right for as it is hardly ever discussed. […]

  5. Dhemz

    This is a pretty strong topic. Great points by the way! Thanks for bringing it up.
    http://www.gregdemcydias.com

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you. 🙂

  6. This is a topic that is so important to realize today. We are just as responsible as men are for our actions.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Oh yes, we are! 🙂

  7. This is such a important issue that I haven’t read much about. Thanks for this post, and I look forward to reading more.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are welcome and we will continue. Thanks for stopping by!

  8. This is really interesting because I’ve often wondered what causes some women to lash out physically. I’m glad you’re addressing this issue!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Glad that you found at least a window into the issue. Thanks for visiting! 🙂

  9. tara pittman

    I love how you show woman’s stories. We need to support each other.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes we do and part of that support is sharing our stories and speaking the truth. Thanks for stopping by and for your words of encouragement. 🙂

  10. You are doing a fantastic job reaching out to women. We are emancipated….i am terribly conscious that there are many others who are not so lucky.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Oh Michelle, it so warms my heart to read your comment!!! Thank you so much my dear, thank you! Madelaine Albright is was who said, “there is a special place in hell for women who do not help others, and while I do not believe in a physical place called hell she is right. I could not sleep well at night knowing that I had a mess that could be a message to support another woman. Namaste 🙂

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