Journal To Your Dreams
Over the past few weeks, I have found myself drawn to rereading old journals of mine. Do you journal? I did, not so much now. With the amount of time that I spend researching, writing and editing my posts here and that of the Contributors, it feels as if I am constantly journalling.
Many of the posters shared on my Facebook page are quotes from my journals. The one that was my “Good morning” message today came from a 2007 journal that I was pouring over last night. That was a healing period for me, coming through one of the most traumatic and near fatal points of my journey.
It was only a few months after two suicide attempts and my journal was one of the several tools that was leading me to a new place. A challenging effort it was and many days I stepped backwards. The day that those words were written was one in which I was crawling into a new dream for my life.
In social media land, Mondays are usually dedicated to motivation. In my morning post, I shared with you some information on Self Determination Theory and how knowing where your motivation comes from can help you make the life you want. As someone who is intrinsically motivated, meaning I am one of those people who motivate themselves from within, does not need external factors to pull me up, over the years I have sought through and zoomed in on what does not work to move me forward.
One of those “things” is negativity – negative people and situations that pull down my spirit, sap my energy and dull my soul. Knowing what does not work for you means you have an handle on what will work and how to motivate yourself into being who you want to be.
Some months ago, I shared what follows on my former blog. I have revised it somewhat to tell you the story of how to remove what blocks most people from stepping into their dreams. Negative and toxic people. Continue reading.
Poison Appearing As People
What better motivation could there be than to remove poisonous, toxic people from your life?
Recently I have found myself sleeping in more often. This fine Monday morning was another such day. Formerly this was a very rare occurrence. Whether it is my reaching the half century mark or, as I rather believe, it is the freedom that is now mine. One is never sure.
My life really geared up around my 35th birthday. When I turned 41 year, things took a nosedive. Throughout those years, sleep and I were estranged. That would stay the case for almost a decade until recently.
As is often my practice, weekly in fact, during my reflection time my thoughts went to this bout of sleep-iness that I have experienced. Assessing the changes in my life circumstances, including my living arrangements, my marital and economic statuses and my career choice at this time, one thing stood out.
Hardly, if any, toxic people are in my immediate circle.
Seven Signs Of Toxic Relationships
It was an emotionally perplexing week for me, however, things soon sorted themselves out. What could have been poisonous interactions were detoxified. Reading an article by Heidi Priebe’s was confirmation of my conclusion about where I am in terms of relationships at this point. The seven markers of toxic and poisonous relationships are nowhere in my experience – not anymore.
Here are Priebe’s seven types of toxic relationship and how you can remove them from your life:
- “The friend who’s always there when you are down (But disappears as soon as you’re happy).” Isolate, block, limit or simply stop talking with her. Keep your heart open to her and should she ever need you for whatever reason, be available to support her but the daily roller coast has to end.
- “The partner whose whole entire world revolves around you.” Discuss it and if he/she does not form their own friendships, leave especially if it is becoming a major issue, temper tantrum and all.
- “The friend or family member who is always ‘Just being realistic.'” Thank him/her for the dose of realism and go right ahead and follow your inner guidance and your own sense of reason.
- “The friend you are constantly comparing yourself to.” Grow up! We are all unique and special in our own ways. Be you and stop the envying and comparisons.
- “The partner you’re keeping score with.” See #2.
- “The loved one you’re putting ahead of yourself.” Cut the ties or the noose. This can be the longest and most difficult poison to remove from your system, especially if it a parent, but it is one of the most freeing.
- “The relationship you have with yourself.” Get help if doing it on your own is not working. I healed my wounds through professional but more spiritual counselling, the unconditional love and support of friends and my desire to live my best life.
Bottom line in removing toxic relationships or getting out of situations that are corrupting your growth is first knowing what it is that you want from life. By this, I do not mean stuff – at least not necessarily or primarily.
Create A Vision For Your Life, Then Walk It
If you have not done so already or if dust is gathering on it, a first step is to create a vision statement for your life. It can be as simple as: “I want to be happy in all that I do and bring joy to every interaction.”
What I found was that as I created and fine-tuned mine over the years, my boundary setting skills were honed, my tolerance for slow poisoning by so-called friends and supposed loved ones diminished and my acceptance of relationships that only served to curb my living as I craved disappeared.
There are times, more rarely than often, that poisonous people like bad gas will secrete into your life. Do not beat up on yourself. Learning to clean the air, detoxify your life is a daily endeavour. Let me help you. Sign up for one of my Webinars – “A Practical Spirituality For The Busy Woman,” which is FREE and starts on Sunday, August 30. As well, you can take part in “A Practical Spirituality in a Fundamentalist World,” which is a 3-part Webinar and will help you create the life you want to live in today’s world.