“All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies
Now put your hands up
Up in the club, we just broke up
I’m doing my own little thing
You decided to dip but now you wanna trip…” (Beyoncé Knowles, Single Ladies)
Okay, fine you are not into clubbing, neither am I, but we are single and as Beyoncé continued in this extremely popular song, “I could care less what you think I need no permission, did I mention.” We need no permission to be who we want and how we want to be.
Tuesday is Wellness day here and in our afternoon post Contributor, Alexis Ali, will share a recent meeting with a friend and their conversation on being single and the unsolicited advice of well-meaning people about how to catch a man, get married and have babies.
I Am Single, Not Desperate
Why do people equate being single with being lonely, desperate and unhappy?
I have been single on and off for four or more years now and it has been the best relationship experience of my life! Reading through the many articles on relationships and how to keep them, none of them applies to the one that I have enjoyed with me over these last few years. [tweetthis]Check out this blog post on being single and happy by Claudette/DOSF![/tweetthis]
Yes, were I to enter a more than “let us see how this goes,” stage of ‘being with someone’ into the “let us be officially known as a couple,” stage, these are some of the things that I would definitely need to repeatedly read and practice:
- A Bad Relationship Can Make You Gorge Yourself: This I know and worth reminding yourself especially if you are more interested in being by the refrigerator that by your mate when the lights go out.
- Are You In A Co-Dependent Relationship: 7 Flags To Watch For: I was in one for 16 years and did not know this until my second suicide attempt after it ended.
- The #1 Relationship Advice You Could Hear: This is my article but it is one of my best on relationships and what I have learned over my 4 years of being single.
Being Single And Wellness
None of these suggested articles are meant to convince you of anything. Rather, they are chosen, and there are tons more where they came from, because they shed a very bright and important light on intimate relationships and how best to be in one.
Every human being deserves and have a right to be well. That is my firm belief having been unwell – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually – for much of my life. Wellness is more than a fit body and waking up to do meditations, chants and rubbing crystals. It is much more than having a great job that you love and having or pursuing further educational goals. Following a vegetarian or vegan diet will not guarantee your well-being. None of these things are possible, workable or will bear consistent results if your life is absent of a wholistic understanding and approach to wellness that includes your relationships.
For these reasons, on this blog we offer the “other” aspects to wellness – the sides you might overlook as you workout, eat your nuts and grains, make your big presentations and get another promotion, or take your children to school. Your relationships status in and of itself does not affect your wellness – not if you are confident in whatever stage of the “relationship game” you are at.
Getting Older And Still Single?
Being 30, 40 or even 50+ as I am approaching and single is not the end of the world and you are not alone, desperate or frigid. I can tell you that none of that is true of me and neither is it true of the women Hélène Tragos Stelian surveyed for her article: “8 Things Single Women Want Their Married Friends To Know.” Check it out here and see whether they are true for you, as a single woman, or whether you knew these things about your single women friends.
Be sure to check back later for Alexis’ article or better yet subscribe and receive updates in your inbox. Have you signed up yet for my FREE webinar, “A Practical Spirituality For The Busy Woman?” It is a 60-minute session on Sunday, August 30 when we will start a conversation about creating a spiritual practice – without the bells and whistles – for you the busy mother, spouse, career woman and community volunteer. Check it out and sign-up today! Space is limited.
Do have a well rest of the day and catch you this afternoon.
P.S. – Something to put a little pep in your step today!