Previously published on July 22, 2014
You Are More Than Your Relationships
No relationship, none, should require you to surrender, suppress or suffocate your dignity.” Claudette Esterine
An absolute statement and I am standing by it.
Not your relationship with your parents, siblings, relatives, friends, co-workers, employer, neighbours, pastor … should I go on? No relationship, especially the one with the person you probably are with most and definitely most intimate – your lover, husband, wife, partner or spouse – should compromise your dignity.
Defined in the dictionary as “the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect,” “a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect,” dignity goes to the core of our beings.
The last thing you can call me is a prude. You really would not know me very well if you did. However, there are some things that I will not do with some (or a certain) lovers. Why? Simple. It feels uncomfortable and compromising of my self respect in that relationship. Actually, should that be a prevailing feeling, that relationship would soon be over.
I know you are probably thinking that I am referring to some “kinky” sexual act. You would be wrong.
You Get What You Give And Then Some
In one relationship, I would not serve my partner a meal or clear their place at the dining table. Meanwhile, in another, I would wipe their butt if needs be and gladly.
The difference? No, not that one is as “ugly” as sin and the other the best looking (and tastiest) thing since sliced bread.
The way I feel, the way that I am honoured, respected, cherished and cared for is the difference.
A physically ugly mate who genuinely treats me as his/her priced treasure, respects my womanhood, uplifts my intelligence and nurtures my heart will have me turning tricks for them! Yes, you read right!
The cute one who thinks his/her crap can make meatloaf, well let us say we would not be together for too long.
My sense of self has grown intensely in the last many years. Maybe yours as well. It can be a long, hard and sweet series of battles. Sometimes it feel like a “war” or better yet a challenge that is never-ending. In my case, sometimes it was not a lover who threatens to shake me off my high self-respect perch but my child, a member of staff or someone in my inner circle.
Personal Freedom And Dignity
What these people fail to understand is that once you have has tasted the deliciousness of personal freedom, you cannot be served the bitterness of subjugation. It is very much like education this thing we call ‘dignity’. Once you learn it, you cannot unlearn it and you hunger for more not less.
Is that your experience? Would you consider yourself a woman of dignity – not in a pious way but you know who you are and what does not serve your highest self and feeling of well-being?
Share your thoughts with me in the comments below as well, do read this morning’s post related to this question of dignity and being inspired to be consistently happy: “You Too Can Be Happy In 3 Step.”
Do have a dignified rest of the day!
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