Are They Dedicated Or Dumb? Men Who Stand By Their Women

Team, couple, stand by your womanStand By Your Man Is The ‘Norm’

Why it is seen as a sign of weakness or unnatural way to be – I do not know, but what I do know is there are respectable men who stand by their women.

Since time immemorial, women are expected to stand by their men in whatever capacity possible as they are considered to the backbone to every man’s ambition. However, have you ever heard anything said about the ambitious woman? Who will stand by her?

In modern times, many high-profile women such as Cameron Diaz – the movie actress, Oprah Winfrey – journalist, businesswoman and actress, Condoleezza Rice – the Former Secretary of State and Jane Austen –  Author, to name a few, have all skipped marriage in favor of pursuing their respective careers.

Men Who Have Stood Strong

High profile women, especially those who have husbands and sometimes kids, must find it tough to balance family life and responsibilities with a demanding career. In actuality, there are men who have been known to support such women, occupying demanding positions, in any way possible. Take Archibald (“Archie”) Chan, as an example. Until his death in 2010, he was married to Anson Chan, the first ethnic Chinese and the first woman to become the Chief Secretary of Hong Kong. They had a successful marriage and Anson had in him the undying support of a not-so prominent husband.

man standing by his woman
Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee and husband, Dr. Elywn Lee (Source: chron.com)

Dr. Elwyn C. Lee, the husband of Sheila Jackson Lee, a Texas congresswoman, is also a not-so-prominent husband who steadfastly stood in the shadows supporting his wife.

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Why do some see this as dumb?

Based on history, some people are still not accepting of the fact that times have changed resulting in women gaining equal rights to men in more places across the world. They still believe a woman’s place is in the shadows of her man and not vice-versa. While this has been right for some and on occasions, it is also worth noting that relationships are a two-way thing and roles can be reversed effectively and still work out fine.

It Is About The Team – Not The Captain

The key to successful relationship with or without this ‘role’ reversal is teamwork.

If you are married, I know you are conscious of the reality that you and your husband make a team even if he is not openly or initially drawn to your career choice. Without making excuses, when he stands by you during the good times and bad times, it might not be easy on his ego. This is hard for some women to grasp as the contrary might be true for them if the shoe was on the other foot.

He is doing everything humanly possible to stay dedicated. He is putting aside his idea of the career his mate “should” have or her role in the relationship, allowing you to do what you crave most. It is equally important to appreciate that he is doing it not to be doormat or because he is a “wuss” but with the mindset that he will not be trampled on or taken for granted.

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man doing the houswork
Role reversal (Source: pinterest.com)

Another major thing that motivates a man to stand by his woman is – mutual respect. Your being an ambitious and highly positioned woman does not mean your husband loses his respectability. When he stands by you remember he has earned it and it is left for you to give that to him and not diminish his role in your continuing growth and success.

Keep The Love Alive

Lastly, making time for him and the relationship, communicating and making sacrifices to let him know he is still integral in your life does wonders for his ego and confidence. I can testify to this. A man is bound to be supportive as long as he does not feel personally threatened or that the relationship is no longer of value to you due to your successes.

The world is evolving and with each dawn women are breaking new grounds as fast as they can. It is a world of equality and there are men who will and want to stand and cheer you on.


Contributor, Claudette P. Esterine
Robert Turner

Robert Turner lives in Georgia, U.S. and holds a degree in English. He is an educator and freelance writer. He enjoys a healthy debate as much as the next guy and writes short stories or inspirational books in his spare time. His most recent post, “A Man On Older Women And Online Dating,” and all his other posts, brings a male perspective on women’s issues we cover in this blog. Subscribe and receive updates when Robert and others’ posts are published.

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45 thoughts on “Are They Dedicated Or Dumb? Men Who Stand By Their Women

  1. […] his most recent post, “Are They Dedicated or Dumb?: Men Who Stand By Their Women.” Subscribe and receive updates of his posts and that of the other […]

  2. I agree! relationship is about teamwork 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      Indeed! 🙂

  3. I think regardless of gender one should support his or her spouse. Cheering them on when they succeed and crying with them when they fail. Great article!

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are absolutely correct! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this! 🙂

  4. Rosey

    mutual respect is a huge deal. I try to teach the importance of that to my boys.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are a blessing of a mother! Thanks for your comment! 🙂

  5. I think it shows incredible strength to be able to graciously let your significant other shine!

    1. Ms Claudette

      I truly agree with that! What others might consider weakness/dumb is reall strength as you say! Thanks for dropping by! 🙂

  6. Ashley

    Marriage is SO much work! I’m thankful my hubby stands by me when I want to venture out and try something new for myself. I’ve got a supportive one! 🙂

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are one of the fortunate ones and your words hear show that you know it! All the best! 🙂

  7. As long as a relationship is going good there should be mutual respect. However we all have the lines we draw before we are pushed to our limits and the partner should know them first off.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Very true! Thanks for sharing that! 🙂

  8. Very thoughtful! I am strongly agree with you that is about the team…! After all, a relation involve 2 persons, not 1.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, we often forget that eh? Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  9. This is a great post and I believe all men should even read this one. Woman are definitely becoming more equivalent to men now days. It is important for men to stand by their women just like it is important for women to stand by their men. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are most welcome and thank you for commenting and sharing your thoughts with us! 🙂

  10. A relationship is a two way process and I believe that both the man and the woman should support each other. Love your post!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you and yes, I do agree that both partners should ought to support each other. Sadly that is not often the case. 🙂

  11. Support and teamwork are essential to marriage. Sometimes people forget that a good marriage takes work. Plus, you always need to have each others’ backs. Great post.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Thank you! And it is teamwork that helps a relationship stay strong! 🙂

  12. VICTORIA

    Its always been a game of give and take, love and hate. we all had bad days and its all those bad and bitter moments that strengthens the relationship more. Like a steel in a furnace being forged! Lets just remember the bad and learn from it and celebrate all the good time and live it!

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, you are so correct on that! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  13. dltolley

    The basis of a relationship – any relationship – is respect. I don’t care what careers are involved or who is doing what, if genuine respect is involved, everyone benefits. If one allows a seat for selfishness at the table, the meal is over.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen, clear the table and do the dishes and go walk off the meal! LOL 🙂 Thanks Diane as always for your valuable insight! 🙂

  14. I feel like it’s mutual and the relationship will work much better if both parties are actively supporting each other.

    1. Ms Claudette

      I think you are right! 🙂

  15. Marriage is definitely a team effort. Guess it really doesn’t matter who is in the spotlight, just that you have each others support and commitment no matter what you are pursuing.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that! Some couples find themselves in competition with each other! Hello?!!!

  16. I love that: It’s about the team – not the captain. So true. I’m a nurse working over fulltime hours to make ends meet in our home. My husband has rheumatoid arthritis so he stays at home. But this really works for us, and I do think I’m lucky that he’s always supported by ideas (’cause I usually have one idea after the next, and they aren’t always good ones.) This post was a nice reminder.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Well glad that we served a purpose for you with this one! thanks for sharing! 🙂

  17. Elizabeth O.

    Only stand by your man if he’s willing to stand by you too. Otherwise, there will be no team work. Support from each other is always essential in partnership. It’s also important that both of you are on the same page in terms of goals and views.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Yes, some people are not even in the same book much less on the same page! Thanks Elizabeth for your comment! 🙂

  18. Marriage is for the success of both. Ones success may just be helping and supporting the others.

    1. Ms Claudette

      That is very true! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  19. This a great post and the points you make are so valid. Solid, long term relationships are a lot work and effort. But the effort and commitment pays off in the long term.

    1. Ms Claudette

      i am sure they do – with the work and effort as you say. Some of us don’t have those skills (see my hands in the air???) but don’t give up on me just yet! LOL Thanks for dropping by. 🙂

  20. When you talk about standing in the shadow I think of all the pictures we have seen over the years of Queen Elizabeth with Prince Philip always standing just behind her, in her shadow, so to speak.

    1. Ms Claudette

      That is an excellent example!!! Thanks for that Sicorra! 🙂

  21. Every couple has to find what works for them. Ideally, both men and women should support each other equally. I doubt that this happens often, as we don’t live in an ideal world.

    1. Ms Claudette

      No we don’t and so the learning is constant. Thank you so much for visiting! 🙂

  22. shelahmoss

    It should not matter what the gender is. The best way to have a healthy relationship is to be with someone who encourages their partner to always be the best version of themselves.

    1. Ms Claudette

      Amen to that Shelah! Thanks for dropping by! 🙂

  23. I think everyone has to do what is right for them. Each situation is unique, so there really is no right or wrong.

    1. Ms Claudette

      You are right on the money with that Robin! 🙂

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