Why it is seen as a sign of weakness or unnatural way to be – I do not know, but what I do know is there are respectable men who stand by their women.
Since time immemorial, women are expected to stand by their men in whatever capacity possible as they are considered to the backbone to every man’s ambition. However, have you ever heard anything said about the ambitious woman? Who will stand by her?
In modern times, many high-profile women such as Cameron Diaz – the movie actress, Oprah Winfrey – journalist, businesswoman and actress, Condoleezza Rice – the Former Secretary of State and Jane Austen – Author, to name a few, have all skipped marriage in favor of pursuing their respective careers.
Men Who Have Stood Strong
High profile women, especially those who have husbands and sometimes kids, must find it tough to balance family life and responsibilities with a demanding career. In actuality, there are men who have been known to support such women, occupying demanding positions, in any way possible. Take Archibald (“Archie”) Chan, as an example. Until his death in 2010, he was married to Anson Chan, the first ethnic Chinese and the first woman to become the Chief Secretary of Hong Kong. They had a successful marriage and Anson had in him the undying support of a not-so prominent husband.
Why do some see this as dumb?
Based on history, some people are still not accepting of the fact that times have changed resulting in women gaining equal rights to men in more places across the world. They still believe a woman’s place is in the shadows of her man and not vice-versa. While this has been right for some and on occasions, it is also worth noting that relationships are a two-way thing and roles can be reversed effectively and still work out fine.
It Is About The Team – Not The Captain
The key to successful relationship with or without this ‘role’ reversal is teamwork.
If you are married, I know you are conscious of the reality that you and your husband make a team even if he is not openly or initially drawn to your career choice. Without making excuses, when he stands by you during the good times and bad times, it might not be easy on his ego. This is hard for some women to grasp as the contrary might be true for them if the shoe was on the other foot.
He is doing everything humanly possible to stay dedicated. He is putting aside his idea of the career his mate “should” have or her role in the relationship, allowing you to do what you crave most. It is equally important to appreciate that he is doing it not to be doormat or because he is a “wuss” but with the mindset that he will not be trampled on or taken for granted.
Another major thing that motivates a man to stand by his woman is – mutual respect. Your being an ambitious and highly positioned woman does not mean your husband loses his respectability. When he stands by you remember he has earned it and it is left for you to give that to him and not diminish his role in your continuing growth and success.
Keep The Love Alive
Lastly, making time for him and the relationship, communicating and making sacrifices to let him know he is still integral in your life does wonders for his ego and confidence. I can testify to this. A man is bound to be supportive as long as he does not feel personally threatened or that the relationship is no longer of value to you due to your successes.
The world is evolving and with each dawn women are breaking new grounds as fast as they can. It is a world of equality and there are men who will and want to stand and cheer you on.
Robert Turner lives in Georgia, U.S. and holds a degree in English. He is an educator and freelance writer. He enjoys a healthy debate as much as the next guy and writes short stories or inspirational books in his spare time. His most recent post, “A Man On Older Women And Online Dating,” and all his other posts, brings a male perspective on women’s issues we cover in this blog. Subscribe and receive updates when Robert and others’ posts are published.