Angry Black Woman
Only yesterday I wrote about stereotyping and today I am doing it to myself but for a different reason and for effect. Yes, for effect. I am mad as hell and need Camille Cosby to know it. I do hope someone, somewhere, somehow shares this post with her.
That is my “hell no” look – intended for Camille.
- Having worked in the prison system and heard the stories of sexual predators of both sexes, I am hopping mad at her.
- Having been through years of childhood sexual abuse and later the “victim” of rape and molestation by grown men, I am @#$% mad at Camille Cosby.
- Having held the hands and wiped the tears of so many women who years after being assaulted by men they trusted, I honestly want to hold Camille Cosby and women who behave like her and shake them.
I Am Not An Apologist For Rapists
- I am very much an introvert in my social behaviour (not a psychological term or diagnosis).
- I do not follow people.
- I really am not a group person.
However, on the advice of social media experts, I took up the offer and tentatively entered the conversations. Things were going well for a while until the militant ones took over, including the chairwoman. This was a group of feminists and survivors of sexual assault. One fine day in May last year, the topic of female genital mutilation came up. My position clearly was not vigilant enough, not in step with the Group-think. I wrote about the episode on my former blog. Here is an excerpt. You can read the full post here:
A woman told me off yesterday. She said that I am an apologist for rapists (men) and seemingly in need of reminding of the injustices that women suffer.
Her tirade came as a result of my refusal to be placed in her box.
Obviously she did not know that I do not do boxes. It matters not to me whether you are male, female, black, white or if you are buttering my bread!
I will just get another slice and eat it dry!
An article in DOS Weekly on female genital mutilation caused this woman to start chewing coals. More so, my refusal to take an hard line position one way or another. I did little to endear myself to her with my also refusing to say that a woman has no responsibility in protecting herself from date rape.
DOS is a Sistahood of women who have chosen each other and like in any family, we have our differences. However, we seek to understand each other and not compete or be condescending towards one another.
That was the attempt made on me yesterday by this female group moderator. Her labelling of me, a survivor of multiple childhood sexual abuse and sexual assaults, as an apologist for rapists was laughable.
People often wonder why I seem so publicly open but allow very few in my inner space. Here is the answer.
My mess has always been my message. I share it freely but not with the intention of changing anyone. Rather, my aim is to let any girl, child, woman and even man reading my story know that:
- They are not alone.
- They can and will survive and thrive if they so choose.
- Hate yields nothing more than a whole pile more of itself.
- Love, self-love and the unconditional love of others, will ease all pain.
This might sound contradictory to the headline of this post – that I am mad as hell with Camille Cosby. If you read carefully and between my words you will see that it is not. While I will never force my position on any woman, including my daughter – did that so many times and failed – I will never be quiet in the face of injustice or abuse.
I will never stand by a man – or a woman – should there be surmounting evidence that they have caused bodily harm to another. They say never say never but here goes – I will never stand by a man period in such situations. My daughter’s, my granddaughter’s and your daughter’s lives are too precious for that.
Too many women silently sacrifice the lives of their daughters and their daughter’s daughter out of fear. Fear of losing:
- Their man
- Their worldly ‘power’ and influence
- Their wealth, status and designer clothes
- Their “place in heaven”
To hell with all that. There will be another man. If not, there is nothing a man or any other human being can do for me that I cannot do for myself. Worldly power is of no real value to me. I am not impressed or in awe of anyone in supposed power. Money is not my motivator, neither is status and I am not interested in “Divadom” so Walmart clothes are fine if that is all that I can afford. As for heaven – how can I be in “heaven” while my daughter or your daughter is living in hell on Earth?
That is why I am mad as hell at Camille Cosby – she has daughters. She is in a place of power to influence girls all over our world. She has the resources to make a real difference in this world by standing up and speaking out for women.
I do not know whether Bill Cosby raped all those women who have come forward and are accusing him. What I do know is that he had intentions to do some of them wrong with the admission of having purchased date rape drugs. That is enough for me.
Bill Cosby was a household name in my youth. He was a father figure for many but, for girls like myself who had none in their homes, Bill Cosby was it. Am I disappointed about how this story is unfolding? Absolutely. My greatest disappointment is with Camille’s silence now that secrets are being made public. I am even more astounded by how this educated, influential and senior among women has deflected and aided her husband in not taking responsibility for his actions – whatever they may have been and evidence is growing that they were not pure.
Camille, stand up, speak out – truthfully and honestly, please. Too many so-called powerful men have hidden behind the women’s skirt tails when their @#$% hits the fan.
Please, Camille put on some pants and step away!
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