If you have ever been through one of those dreadful relationships that ends in a breakup then you have certainly had that feeling of hesitation whether or not to trust someone again. Researchers term it “pistanthrophobia” the fear of trusting someone again after being hurt in love.
I have been through it and so have many other people that I know, and as anyone who has been through a breakup will consent, it is a very complex situation to overcome.
Actually, I decided to write this article to dismiss some of the false impression I have heard about men and breakups. Conceivably the most unpleasant thing about love is that the higher you feel in it, the harder the plunge when the relationship ends. Then you get to hear common gossips like “he never loved her” or “he is going out with Stephanie to spite his ex.”
Misconception About Men And Breakups
I have heard plenty of women say guys are insensitive animals with no morals immediately after a breakup but in truth breakups are hard on guys just as it is on women. It is just a simple case of male ego and being able to mask their feelings more than women.
When men fall in love they start to think “this is for real” or as things progress they say to themselves, “this relationship is going well.” Then it all falls apart and they are left picking up the pieces. No one likes going down that road twice as such having trust in someone else not to do same becomes a problem. However, if we want to keep our hearts and spirit alive we eventually need to hope again and take that leap of faith.
The Bugbear – Inferiority Complex
One of the major reasons men find it hard to trust again after a breakup is inferiority complex. They start believing they are not worth it, they are defective and they do not have what it takes and so on.
With this type of thoughts comes withdrawal from female contact and, in search of a way to vent their anger and frustrations, some men pick up bad habits or hobbies. Others simply lose trust in the opposite sex. Even when he was not cheated on, a man will get overly suspicious of everything that a woman does.
Guys dealing with a breakup usually think they will never be able to trust women again, but the issue is not trusting women it is regaining trust in you. If you do not learn how to trust yourself, you are never going to trust anyone else.
So, Guys – How Do You Trust Again?
- Break free from your ex completely
- Try understanding yourself and your emotions
- Pick up the right kind of hobbies to keep yourself focused and busy
- Find someone to talk to
- Do not rush into another relationship in a bid to prove yourself or for the wrong reasons but rather take it slow and learn from your mistakes.
When you are ready to trust again the feeling will come and when you find the right woman do remember that what is given freely is treated cheaply, make her earn your trust because as the saying goes “once bitten twice shy.”[tweetthis]From one guy to others – 5 steps to trusting a woman again?[/tweetthis]
It is not easy to mend a broken heart and the automatic reaction is to build a wall around yourself and refusing to let trust or let anyone in again. My experience and word to you is this: If you are strong-willed and seek the happiness you deserve, time will mend your broken heart.”
Robert Turner lives in Georgia, U.S. and holds a degree in English. He enjoys a healthy debate as much as the next guy and writes short stories or inspirational books in his spare time. Check out his most recent post on Body Enhancers and share your comments with him below.